Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
A Sunny Shady Life..!!
A Sunny Shady Life..!!
In a book stand near you this February!!
Braickbats and flowers welcomed with equal delight.
Thanks and Regards,
Sachinn Garg
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Sachinopedia: The End
Note: Either read till end or dont read.
A moment of restfulness.
As I sit down to write this, I can not think of anything which has to be done within next three hours.
It is done now.
I owe Sachinopedia an announcement post.
But more than that, I need to do without which every author is incomplete.
I need to write the 'How' part of writing a book.
More for myself, to be picked up when I struggle with my second book (which is shaping nice already btw), than for all the cute chicks which read this piece of electronic parchment.
More for myself, to be picked up when I struggle with my second book (which is shaping nice already btw), than for all the cute chicks which read this piece of electronic parchment.
Around sixteen months after it had begun, it is now in print and I wonder if I am gonna miss the tension it gave me.
The mind share that it occupied, which even today handicaps me from concentrating in a lecture, is something I might miss.
No further ado, here goes.
HOW TO WRITE A NOVEL.
1. Read a lot.
2. Dont take your readers for granted.
3. Brush up your grammar before you start.
4. Lead an interesting life.
5. Have a companion along.
These are five points of wisdom from me.
No, it does not end here.
DIssection ought to be done, no matter how obvious the points may seem.
1# Read a lot? I had hardly read 8-9 novels in my life when I started writing. Even Seth had said you should have read more before starting. but even Seth can be contradicted some times.
2# Readers for granted? Well, you need to be spontaneous. If you start thinking how will the reader react to this, your writing speed will die. In fact, even today, the most praised lines are the ones which were fillers to be replaced by the real lines later. But then I realized that the fillers could not be bettered.
3#Grammar? Well, when I started, I might have spelled grammar as grammer. But the grammar corrections I now receive for my blog has come down to single digits.
Knowing the bare minimum can be enough.
4# Interesting life? This is something I still struggle with. And now MBA has ensured that I stop fighting for it. If you please please please please allow me just one sentence of gyaan. If you let this be that rare ocassion that I write some one else's line, please lemme quote Prof Kaun Banega Crorepati:
"Experience aint what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you."
5# Writing is a solitary activity. Having a companion can only slow you down. You have enough brains alone to handle it and it is damn tough to differentiate good feedback from the bad. In the second half, Kshitij and Durjoy joined me, but then, the basic structure ought to be done alone. Being single all the time might have been a blessing in disguise.
If I am to think of what went it right and why my ramblings could see a printing press while many dont, is that moment on 17th September 2007 when the great event happened.
The time gap between the thought crossing my mind that I should write a novel and the first line fo the novel was 30 seconds because I was 30 seconds away from my computer.
No analysis.
It just started.
This was it from my side.
An arcane setiment connects me to Sachinopedia, which started as time killer, and then became a hobby and touched addiction in parts.
I end Sachinopedia here, exactly two years from its date of birth.
It was great writing on this page.
It will be followed by something bigger, the announcement of which would be made on 29th January, 2009.
Be there!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
My Autobioraphy
Just finished writing my autobiography of 14000 words as a college assignment.
Its a sin to write your autobiography when you dont want to.
I didnt want to because I knew I am not ready yet.
The events are not big enough and the satisfaction is not thereto narrate a story which is still incomplete.
But the best part was reliving the times at Hari Nagar, Green Valey Public School, Rohini home-1. Rohini home -2, MIPS, NKBPS, DCE, NPL, ENSEA, MDI.
Its a therapy in itself.
So much has happened in life.
Do you have the following symptoms:
- You are suffering from low self esteem and think you have done nothing in life.
- You have lots of vella time, even more than me.
- You have a laptop/ good desktop.
If you suffice all three options then start writing your autobiography. Some of the best novels are started with an account of some real life events.
Friday, January 9, 2009
i was scared.
i had never been there.
i had heard its description.
i knew it was not dull a place.
but i was scared.
and then i stepped in.
and i realized that this was probably not my first time here.
i had been here but the memory had gone faint.
it must have been a long time back.
and then i did what i ahd dreaded all this time.
i turned the tap on and got all wet.
i even used the soap.
i had never been there.
i had heard its description.
i knew it was not dull a place.
but i was scared.
and then i stepped in.
and i realized that this was probably not my first time here.
i had been here but the memory had gone faint.
it must have been a long time back.
and then i did what i ahd dreaded all this time.
i turned the tap on and got all wet.
i even used the soap.
Friday, January 2, 2009
The point of no return
5:12 AM, 2nd January, 2009
Dear Mom,
It is here mom. The manuscript is sealed and sent to the inbox of Srishti Publications.
Sunny has now taken form(s) a lot different from how he was born some 1.5 years ago. I am sure you would love him whenever you come to know that such a thing exists.
Each time I go for a feedback session and the reader mentions any particular line, my mind goes back to the train of thought that had led me to that sentence. I wonder if the feeling would subdue, now that the number of feedback might go up. And as I typed the mail to my editor, I have still given him two options for the title, whichever suits her best.
The book should be in stands in a months time and has seen its share of ups and downs. The highs being more dominating than the lows as on 2-1-9. The effort seems to have already redeemed itself and the intangible dividend seems to have justified all the intangible input that has gone in.
And as the point of no return is reached today and the manuscript is frozen, I am filled with a baseless, crude confidence in the final product and feel very well equiped for all the bricks and the bats, with indifference or equal ease.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
IF the Eurotrip does take place, here a to-do list:
| Adventure sport | Feasibility |
| Bungee jumping | Low |
| Snorkelling | Nil |
| Paragliding | Very low |
| Trekking | Lower than nil |
| Skydiving | Lowestest possible |
| Overnight stay on the beach | Lowestest impossible |
| Break the law | Bad |
| Get sloshed in a Parisian night club | Ultra bad |
| skiing | medium |
| White water rafting | Rock bottom |
| Writing a novel | Cake walk |
Fingers crossed for the trip to France!
Cant wait for Sept 2009!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Santa Singh(SS), Banta Singh(BS) and Basanta Singh(B2S) were once having their exams.
At 1AM, all three were sleepy and too lazy to study.
SS: Bhai basanta, I am fed up of these notes. Just temme which is the toughest question in this bundle and I would randomly open a page. If that toughest question is not there on that page, I would go to sleep.
SS goes to sleep.
BS: Bhai Basanta, I am fed up of these notes. If SS starts snoring in next 30 seconds I will go to sleep.
SS does not start snoring for 2 minutes.
BS: Well, I salute SS for saluting in his mind. Thanks to him, I can now go to sleep.
BS also goes to sleep.
B2S: Well, both of them have gone to sleep. And I have studied for at least 30 seconds more than both of them. In relative grading, I will score more than both! Then why should I study?
Goodnight folks!
Goodnight folks!
And pray I do better than both of them at Cost Accounting tomorrow.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Lucknow to Delhi
(240 km from New Delhi)
NR: Dude I am so sleepy that I am panicking!!
VKR: No dude you cant be sleepy. May be you are not panicking enough. Panic a little more and the sleep will fly away.
NR: No panic and sleep are independent in my case. I am feeling sleepy and the more I panic, the more sleepy I get.
VKR: Dude you are driving and we are still 240 km from Delhi. We have to be back in Delhi in 5 hours or we are dead.
NR: It is not in my hand!! Do something VKR!!
VKR: Well.. lets have a coffee at the next dhaba.
(230 km from Delhi) (had coffee)
NR: Dude it is still not working. I am sleepy again. The coffee was good for 10 km only. I am sleepy again. I cant drive. We wont make it. Why didnt you learn to drive you idiot.
VKS: Nahi yar. We cant afford that. You have to stay up. Lemme think of a way. ok. Lets talk about something. If we can talk about something interesting, we can sail through.
NR: Ok. Lets talk about foreign exotic lands.
(220 km from Delhi)
VKR: Ok.
(It works for another 10km)
NR: No even this is not working. I am not interested in the Spanish missionaries you met in kanyakumaaris. Do something more interesting. Keep me up or we will meet with an accident!!
VKS: Ok. Which topic is of most interest to you?
NR + VKS (in chorus): Sex.
VKS: Ok. We are 220 km from home. I will tell you 11 sex stories and each one of them will last 20km. This way you would be easily able to stay up, I am sure. Chal, lets do it.
(And they reached home safely, before time.)
NR: Dude I am so sleepy that I am panicking!!
VKR: No dude you cant be sleepy. May be you are not panicking enough. Panic a little more and the sleep will fly away.
NR: No panic and sleep are independent in my case. I am feeling sleepy and the more I panic, the more sleepy I get.
VKR: Dude you are driving and we are still 240 km from Delhi. We have to be back in Delhi in 5 hours or we are dead.
NR: It is not in my hand!! Do something VKR!!
VKR: Well.. lets have a coffee at the next dhaba.
(230 km from Delhi) (had coffee)
NR: Dude it is still not working. I am sleepy again. The coffee was good for 10 km only. I am sleepy again. I cant drive. We wont make it. Why didnt you learn to drive you idiot.
VKS: Nahi yar. We cant afford that. You have to stay up. Lemme think of a way. ok. Lets talk about something. If we can talk about something interesting, we can sail through.
NR: Ok. Lets talk about foreign exotic lands.
(220 km from Delhi)
VKR: Ok.
(It works for another 10km)
NR: No even this is not working. I am not interested in the Spanish missionaries you met in kanyakumaaris. Do something more interesting. Keep me up or we will meet with an accident!!
VKS: Ok. Which topic is of most interest to you?
NR + VKS (in chorus): Sex.
VKS: Ok. We are 220 km from home. I will tell you 11 sex stories and each one of them will last 20km. This way you would be easily able to stay up, I am sure. Chal, lets do it.
(And they reached home safely, before time.)
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Kolkata kolling.
I would be in Kolkata this weekend and would be meeting a few of my blogging friends there on Sunday morning, 23rd November, 2008.
Lemme know if you are in Kolkata and want to join.
THanks and Regards,
Sachin Garg
perseverance-mev jayate
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
MBA, Aspirational sentences
Ever since board exam preparation days, ever since DCE endterms days, some sentences have remained aspirational sentences.
Sentence number 1:
Whether the two are related or not, I do not know, but some of the have come true since I joined MDI.
Heres a list of top three of them and how they have come to be totally true.
Sentence number 1:
"I generally sleep for four hours a day, except for days when I sleep for three hours."
When I was reasonably young, I read the following sentence:
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to with themselves on a hot Sunday afternoon.
Since then I longed for a twenty hour schedule. Not that I am working so hard, but I am definitely living to the fullest.
Sentence number 2:
"Hi, I am Sachin Garg. I am a struggling writer."
"Hi, I am Sachin Garg. I am a struggling writer."
The book hits the stand this January and its playing its part in making sentence number 1 true.
But still, the feeling is truly satisfying.
Sentence number 3:
"I am an MBA. I will be doing my summers at a top notch finance company."
"I am an MBA. I will be doing my summers at a top notch finance company."
It took 60 interviews, 20 GDs, 18 months for me to get a nod from a company. But I am not that worthless mom. I am the same Sachin whom your sisters envied.
The next aspirational sentence:
"I was so happy, I had tears in my eyes."
Monday, October 27, 2008
The full short story
There was a cheetah, a girrafe and porcupine who were best of friends.
The porcupine was in love with the porcupiness.
The jungle was going through an economic slump.
So the cheetah decided he would go to the city for career opportunities.
The girrafe's mom had a habit of comparing the giraffe to the cheetah all the time and the giraffe knew if the cheetah reaches the city, he is dead.
He tried to stop the cheetah but he couldnt.
The cheetah was now in the city.
The giraffe and the porcupine were left in the jungle.
They had to do something to make it big.
So they joined the Jungle School of Management.
They pledged that they would make it big in this B school.
But giraffe just could not understand management.
He was too dumb for it man.
Or may be he was too pragmatic.
He found management weird.
He could not understand why there is so much fuss about non existent issues.
'Conceptualize, strategize, organize, Prioritize'; Just in time theory and whatever...
But he had to make it big as the cheetah had already done it.
Thus he came up with a research paper on 'there and then' theory.
He explained why all decision should be made at the fastest possible with minimum of fuss and junked mathematics.
His paper was revered.
He was a celebrity.
Now the porcupine thought, cheetah is in the city, giraffe is a celeb, what do I do?
He decided he would top jungle school of management and get the top placement.
Voila! What an idea! Why hadnt he thought of it before? Just top the god damn exam.
The porcupine was in love with the porcupiness.
The jungle was going through an economic slump.
So the cheetah decided he would go to the city for career opportunities.
The girrafe's mom had a habit of comparing the giraffe to the cheetah all the time and the giraffe knew if the cheetah reaches the city, he is dead.
He tried to stop the cheetah but he couldnt.
The cheetah was now in the city.
The giraffe and the porcupine were left in the jungle.
They had to do something to make it big.
So they joined the Jungle School of Management.
They pledged that they would make it big in this B school.
But giraffe just could not understand management.
He was too dumb for it man.
Or may be he was too pragmatic.
He found management weird.
He could not understand why there is so much fuss about non existent issues.
'Conceptualize, strategize, organize, Prioritize'; Just in time theory and whatever...
But he had to make it big as the cheetah had already done it.
Thus he came up with a research paper on 'there and then' theory.
He explained why all decision should be made at the fastest possible with minimum of fuss and junked mathematics.
His paper was revered.
He was a celebrity.
Now the porcupine thought, cheetah is in the city, giraffe is a celeb, what do I do?
He decided he would top jungle school of management and get the top placement.
Voila! What an idea! Why hadnt he thought of it before? Just top the god damn exam.
he topped every exam in JSM.
But still the giraffe bagged the top placement for his research paper.
The porcupine fell apart.
He was the only loser in the trio now.
The porcupiness left him in minutes.
What did he do?
He got into drinking.
He drank drank drank till his neck.
And then he thought,
alcohol is bad for my liver.
So he quit drinking and started introspecting.
He had lost all desire to consume anything created by animalkind.
He wanted to be the creator of everything.
And hence he started Project X.
He worked hard thinking of the porcupiness all the time.
The girrafe was still doing his heavy job of managing turnover at a BPO.
The cheetah had found a job in a circus.
The procupiness was there some where.
He did not know what is the point in project X.
But still the giraffe bagged the top placement for his research paper.
The porcupine fell apart.
He was the only loser in the trio now.
The porcupiness left him in minutes.
What did he do?
He got into drinking.
He drank drank drank till his neck.
And then he thought,
alcohol is bad for my liver.
So he quit drinking and started introspecting.
He had lost all desire to consume anything created by animalkind.
He wanted to be the creator of everything.
And hence he started Project X.
He worked hard thinking of the porcupiness all the time.
The girrafe was still doing his heavy job of managing turnover at a BPO.
The cheetah had found a job in a circus.
The procupiness was there some where.
He did not know what is the point in project X.
He did not know if he was ever gonna finish it off.
He gave it up twice and decided to go to the Himalyas and meditate.
But near the foot of K2, he was stopped by a saint who told him he would get what he is looking for.
Porcupine asked him what are you doing here?
The saint said I am a pervert in a saint's disguise, looking for an easy victim to be victimized.
The porcpine thought this guy is crazy.
But then he thought that the odds of this guy succeeding are nil.
But still he is trying.
He is trying to make something work, for what he really really wants in life.
If I love project X, I must put my life in it.
And not worry whether I ll make it or not.
So he turned back.
And he fininshed project X in record time after coming back.
Happy Ending.
The project X was a novel.
It is tentatively titled
"Life, Love and mmuuaah..!"
The porcupine represents nobody.
THe book releases this January!
Do read it.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Of course I love you.. Till I find someone better ( A review)
It is almost impossible to analyze a story which I have been such an integral part of objectively and in an unbiased manner. Still I make an attempt and assure you of the same to the best of my ability.
Inevitably, I have done my share of feedback-ing before writing this.
Only one or two of the readers have missed the point that constant wit maintained in the book makes it a refreshingly captivating read which is at least a back up even if the topic being discussed is of lesser interest to you.
The plot scores points in terms of being totally believable. Most of the lesser authors lose points by adding Ekta Kapoor-ish twists and unlikely incidences. At no point in the book can you say that this does not happen in real life (excpet may be the impossibly gorgeous heroine).
:)
The plot has a nice conglomeration of diverse topics discussed and does not harp on the same topic for too long to lose the reader's interest. And the topics are also what the youth of India would most like to read and have a lasting recall on their hearts.
No doubt the sales are doing so well as I have myself discovered in each of my visits to book shops in last three months.
The plot revolves around a pervert and a gorgeous chick, their love and the obstacles. The obstacles have high novelty factor, relatively and so do the characters.
The final punch (chapter 22) is what is getting the strongest positive reaction from most readers and believed by many as worth reading the first 21 chapters.
My best wishes to Durjoy Datta and Maanvi Ahuja for their book.
Love,
Love,
Sachin
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
* drum roll *
The culmination of what had started as a rebound relationship between me and Microsoftword is about to see the light of the day.
Annoucing the launch of my first novel.
Hitting stands this January.
is getting published.
Next in line:
Title of the book.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
15-10-08
Watch out for this space this Wednesday.
Thanks and Regards,
Sachin Garg
Class of 2010
Management Development Institute,
Gurgaon.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Short Story (Part 2)
There was a cheetah, a girrafe and porcupine who were best of friends.
The porcupine was in love with the porcupiness.
The jungle was going through an economic slump.
So the cheetah decided he would go to the city for career opportunities.
The girrafe's mom had a habit of comparing the giraffe to the cheetah all the time and the giraffe knew if the cheetah reaches the city, he is dead.
He tried to stop the cheetah but he couldnt.
The cheetah was now in the city.
The giraffe and the porcupine were left in the jungle.
They had to do something to make it big.
So the joined the Jungle School of Management.
They pledged that they would make it big in this B school.
But giraffe just could not understand management.
He was too dumb for it man.
Or may be he was too pragmatic.
He found management weird.
He could not understand why there is so much fuss about non existent issues.
'Conceptualize, strategize, organize, Prioritize'; Just in time theory and whatever...
But he had to make it big as the cheetah had already done it.
Thus he came up with a research paper on 'there and then' theory.
He explained why all decision should be made at the fastest possible with minimum of fuss and junked mathematics.
his paper was revered.
He was a celebrity.
Now the porcupine thought, cheetah is in the city, giraffe is a celeb, what do I do?
He decided he would top jungle school of management and get the top placement.
Voila!
he topped every exam in JSM.
But still the giraffe bagged the top placement for his research paper.
The porcupine fell apart.
He was the only loser in the trio now.
The porcupiness left him in minutes.
What did he do?
He got into drinking.
He drank drank drank till his neck.
And then he thought,
alcohol is bad for my liver.
So he quit drinking and started introspecting.
He had lost all desire to consume anything created by animalkind.
He wanted to be the creator of everything.
And hence he started Project X.
He worked hard thinking of the porcupiness all the time.
The girrafe was still doing his heavy job of managing turnover at a BPO.
The cheetah had found a job in a circus.
The procupiness was there some where.
And as I write this post on 16th August, 2008, the porcupine's Project X is about to make it big.
*To be continued once this post reaches 30 comments*
The porcupine was in love with the porcupiness.
The jungle was going through an economic slump.
So the cheetah decided he would go to the city for career opportunities.
The girrafe's mom had a habit of comparing the giraffe to the cheetah all the time and the giraffe knew if the cheetah reaches the city, he is dead.
He tried to stop the cheetah but he couldnt.
The cheetah was now in the city.
The giraffe and the porcupine were left in the jungle.
They had to do something to make it big.
So the joined the Jungle School of Management.
They pledged that they would make it big in this B school.
But giraffe just could not understand management.
He was too dumb for it man.
Or may be he was too pragmatic.
He found management weird.
He could not understand why there is so much fuss about non existent issues.
'Conceptualize, strategize, organize, Prioritize'; Just in time theory and whatever...
But he had to make it big as the cheetah had already done it.
Thus he came up with a research paper on 'there and then' theory.
He explained why all decision should be made at the fastest possible with minimum of fuss and junked mathematics.
his paper was revered.
He was a celebrity.
Now the porcupine thought, cheetah is in the city, giraffe is a celeb, what do I do?
He decided he would top jungle school of management and get the top placement.
Voila!
he topped every exam in JSM.
But still the giraffe bagged the top placement for his research paper.
The porcupine fell apart.
He was the only loser in the trio now.
The porcupiness left him in minutes.
What did he do?
He got into drinking.
He drank drank drank till his neck.
And then he thought,
alcohol is bad for my liver.
So he quit drinking and started introspecting.
He had lost all desire to consume anything created by animalkind.
He wanted to be the creator of everything.
And hence he started Project X.
He worked hard thinking of the porcupiness all the time.
The girrafe was still doing his heavy job of managing turnover at a BPO.
The cheetah had found a job in a circus.
The procupiness was there some where.
And as I write this post on 16th August, 2008, the porcupine's Project X is about to make it big.
*To be continued once this post reaches 30 comments*
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Short story
There was a cheetah, a giraffe and porcupine who were best of friends.
The jungle was going through an economic slump.
So the cheetah decided he would go to the city for career opportunities.
The giraffe's mom had a habit of comparing the giraffe to the cheetah all the time and the giraffe knew if the cheetah reaches the city, he is dead.
He tried to stop the cheetah but he couldnt.
The cheetah was now in the city.
The giraffe and the porcupine were left in the jungle.
They had to do something to make it big.
So the joined the jungle school of Management.
They pledged that they would make it big in this B school.
But giraffe just could not understand management.
He was too dumb for it man.
Or may be he was too pragmatic.
He found management weird.
He could not understand why there is so much fuss about non existent issues.
'Conceptualize, strategize, organize, Prioritize'; Just in time theory and whatever...
But he had to make it big as the cheetah had already done it.
Thus he came up with a research paper on 'there and then' theory.
He explained why all decision should be made at the fastest possible with minimum of fuss and junked mathematics.
his paper was revered.
He was a celebrity.
Now the porcupine thought, cheetah is in the city, giraffe is a celeb, what do I do?
He decided he would top jungle school of management and get the top placement.
Voila!
he topped every exam in JSM.
But still the giraffe bagged the top placement for his research paper.
The porcupine fell apart.
He was the only loser in the trio now.
What did he do?
He got into drinking.
He drank drank drank till his neck.
*To be continued on the day this post reaches 30 comments*
jaldi karo yar. feel like writing.
The jungle was going through an economic slump.
So the cheetah decided he would go to the city for career opportunities.
The giraffe's mom had a habit of comparing the giraffe to the cheetah all the time and the giraffe knew if the cheetah reaches the city, he is dead.
He tried to stop the cheetah but he couldnt.
The cheetah was now in the city.
The giraffe and the porcupine were left in the jungle.
They had to do something to make it big.
So the joined the jungle school of Management.
They pledged that they would make it big in this B school.
But giraffe just could not understand management.
He was too dumb for it man.
Or may be he was too pragmatic.
He found management weird.
He could not understand why there is so much fuss about non existent issues.
'Conceptualize, strategize, organize, Prioritize'; Just in time theory and whatever...
But he had to make it big as the cheetah had already done it.
Thus he came up with a research paper on 'there and then' theory.
He explained why all decision should be made at the fastest possible with minimum of fuss and junked mathematics.
his paper was revered.
He was a celebrity.
Now the porcupine thought, cheetah is in the city, giraffe is a celeb, what do I do?
He decided he would top jungle school of management and get the top placement.
Voila!
he topped every exam in JSM.
But still the giraffe bagged the top placement for his research paper.
The porcupine fell apart.
He was the only loser in the trio now.
What did he do?
He got into drinking.
He drank drank drank till his neck.
*To be continued on the day this post reaches 30 comments*
jaldi karo yar. feel like writing.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Event: B Day.
Date: 27th June.
Dont you dare forget it.
The best B day wish mail will get to read the first para of ATOI.
Date: 27th June.
Dont you dare forget it.
The best B day wish mail will get to read the first para of ATOI.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
DCE
Where I fell in love with Pulsar DTSI,
and discovered it can touch 120kmph.
developed passions which I had least expected four years ago,
but fell out of love with food.
became a true connoisseur of quality bakchodi,
but lost my appetite for arbitrary fart.
Where I learned electronics.
hahahahahahaahahahahahahhaaha!
Where I enjoyed soccer but not tech,
spent max hours as a moral wreck.
Where I took off for Paris,
to come back no wiser.
Where VG came to me for fundes for his gf,
and VB thought I could not bat for my life.
I made sure I proved him right,
by leading the defending champs to an off-podium finish.
Where mech cantt gave me shelter,
when lecture halls didnt.
and I spent those hours ogling rather than hogging.
Where I and Yogesh made 40 robots.
(shhh.....only 2 of them worked)
I made friends which I would definitely not marry my daughter to.
Neither let my son meet.
ACADS, all I can say is,
I seldom flunked, often passed,
aint that good enough?
I did things I wont want anyone to know.
But still leaked the news on my own.
Where the empty spaces seemed to get filled,
but da monologue of life had a different epilogue.
Life was a roller coaster,
faster than TGV.
and today, I woke up and said,
'Oye! chaar saal ho bhi gaye!!!!'
:)
and discovered it can touch 120kmph.
developed passions which I had least expected four years ago,
but fell out of love with food.
became a true connoisseur of quality bakchodi,
but lost my appetite for arbitrary fart.
Where I learned electronics.
hahahahahahaahahahahahahhaaha!
Where I enjoyed soccer but not tech,
spent max hours as a moral wreck.
Where I took off for Paris,
to come back no wiser.
Where VG came to me for fundes for his gf,
and VB thought I could not bat for my life.
I made sure I proved him right,
by leading the defending champs to an off-podium finish.
Where mech cantt gave me shelter,
when lecture halls didnt.
and I spent those hours ogling rather than hogging.
Where I and Yogesh made 40 robots.
(shhh.....only 2 of them worked)
I made friends which I would definitely not marry my daughter to.
Neither let my son meet.
ACADS, all I can say is,
I seldom flunked, often passed,
aint that good enough?
I did things I wont want anyone to know.
But still leaked the news on my own.
Where the empty spaces seemed to get filled,
but da monologue of life had a different epilogue.
Life was a roller coaster,
faster than TGV.
and today, I woke up and said,
'Oye! chaar saal ho bhi gaye!!!!'
:)
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Writing / humor.
All writings on this globe have a certain dryness quotient.
Instinctively, I rate whatever I read on this scale and the conclusion is simple.
The drier the sense of humor, the more I like it.
Not many can see the humor hidden between the lines of what Arundhati might have to say.
Even I have not been able to get a single joke in what Joseph Heller had to say, to the extent that I have still not read Catch 22, after 3 attempts.
Or you can go the Chetan Bhagat way by hypnotizing the reader that the book is funny and leaving it up to him to look for the humor, which he mostly does.
But then came a stage when I had to choose my own style of humor and I discovered that I have never truly liked any funny writer at all.
The style that I finally adopted was dry enough for it to be readable for myself and that is nothing short of six sigma ratings and as it goes under review by several publishers, my fingers are paining from being crossed from so long.
Instinctively, I rate whatever I read on this scale and the conclusion is simple.
The drier the sense of humor, the more I like it.
Not many can see the humor hidden between the lines of what Arundhati might have to say.
Even I have not been able to get a single joke in what Joseph Heller had to say, to the extent that I have still not read Catch 22, after 3 attempts.
Or you can go the Chetan Bhagat way by hypnotizing the reader that the book is funny and leaving it up to him to look for the humor, which he mostly does.
But then came a stage when I had to choose my own style of humor and I discovered that I have never truly liked any funny writer at all.
The style that I finally adopted was dry enough for it to be readable for myself and that is nothing short of six sigma ratings and as it goes under review by several publishers, my fingers are paining from being crossed from so long.
Monday, May 12, 2008
The world is indifferent to your existence.
You are a stain in the name of persistence.
Get up rascal, rise and shine.
Shake your booty to the rhythm divine.
Fuck the rules, books and your career.
What you get, Sachin and his arrears.
You are a stain in the name of persistence.
Get up rascal, rise and shine.
Shake your booty to the rhythm divine.
Fuck the rules, books and your career.
What you get, Sachin and his arrears.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
20 Qs
Q1. Man?
Ans. yes.
Q2. Alive?
Ans yes.
Q3. Asian?
Ans no.
Q4. American(North South included)?
Ans no.
Q5. African?
Ans yes.
Q6. Sportsman?
And. no.
Q7. Entertainment?
Ans. no.
Q8. Politics?
Ans. Kinda.
Q9. Northern half of Africa?
Ans. yes.
Q10. Moroccan?
Ans. no.
Q11. Egyptian?
Ans. yes.
Q12. Politician at the national level?
Ans. very long back.
Q13. Politician at the international level?
Ans. some time back.
Q14. Is he still active?
Ans. not considerably.
Q15. Would I have heard his name?
Ans. I heard his name in class 5 and never been able to forget it.
I leave the final 5 Qs to the reader to ask me.
I have no clue how tough or easy I have made this one.
Looking forward to knowing it.
:)
sachingarg.dce@gmail.com
Ans. yes.
Q2. Alive?
Ans yes.
Q3. Asian?
Ans no.
Q4. American(North South included)?
Ans no.
Q5. African?
Ans yes.
Q6. Sportsman?
And. no.
Q7. Entertainment?
Ans. no.
Q8. Politics?
Ans. Kinda.
Q9. Northern half of Africa?
Ans. yes.
Q10. Moroccan?
Ans. no.
Q11. Egyptian?
Ans. yes.
Q12. Politician at the national level?
Ans. very long back.
Q13. Politician at the international level?
Ans. some time back.
Q14. Is he still active?
Ans. not considerably.
Q15. Would I have heard his name?
Ans. I heard his name in class 5 and never been able to forget it.
I leave the final 5 Qs to the reader to ask me.
I have no clue how tough or easy I have made this one.
Looking forward to knowing it.
:)
sachingarg.dce@gmail.com
Monday, May 5, 2008
Cricket versus Soccer.
Both are fun but cricket can never ever give the high of hitting the ground unaware, having decided to dive in too little time to prepare your posture.
Football on the other hand, gives the highest of highs, each time I fall, everything happening too fast for me to cushion my chest.
Desktop versus Laptop.
Who named this thing laptop? I am still constantly hooked with the cable. My lap is too lazy to bear its weight. What is the difference esp if you have a seven room house?
Arundhati Roy versus Rushdie.
Rushdie really saddens me as he is impossible to match. Roy cheers me up cos she is a lot easier to equal.
Committed versus Single.
Its complex. Leave it.
Blogspot versus Wordpress.
Blogspot is easier and user friendly. Every other consideration is in wordpress's favor.
Life versus Death.
Did you really think I will write about something like that?
Windows versus Linux.
Windows is like a cycle rickshaw. Linux is like a cow.
Blogging versus not blogging.
Two things are tough about blogging. One is to blog about topics I dont really feel like blogging on. The other is to not to blog on topics I really really want to blog on.
Sachin versus the world.
Both underestimate the ability of the other. Both have no clue what the other is capable of.
Both are fun but cricket can never ever give the high of hitting the ground unaware, having decided to dive in too little time to prepare your posture.
Football on the other hand, gives the highest of highs, each time I fall, everything happening too fast for me to cushion my chest.
Desktop versus Laptop.
Who named this thing laptop? I am still constantly hooked with the cable. My lap is too lazy to bear its weight. What is the difference esp if you have a seven room house?
Arundhati Roy versus Rushdie.
Rushdie really saddens me as he is impossible to match. Roy cheers me up cos she is a lot easier to equal.
Committed versus Single.
Its complex. Leave it.
Blogspot versus Wordpress.
Blogspot is easier and user friendly. Every other consideration is in wordpress's favor.
Life versus Death.
Did you really think I will write about something like that?
Windows versus Linux.
Windows is like a cycle rickshaw. Linux is like a cow.
Blogging versus not blogging.
Two things are tough about blogging. One is to blog about topics I dont really feel like blogging on. The other is to not to blog on topics I really really want to blog on.
Sachin versus the world.
Both underestimate the ability of the other. Both have no clue what the other is capable of.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Speed Painting.
Name:Akshita Garg.
Age:23 months.
It is hard to believe that it took April, 2008 for her to find a direct mention of her on this page.
But she was the ideal muse for my come back with water color and brush after many many decades.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
10 movies I wish I had made.
1. Fight Club (it is something else)
1. Blood Diamond (the best thrill in the movie was to know it is non fiction at the end)
1. The Simpson's Movie (nothing beats Simpson)
1. The Godfather (a textbook for converting a book to a movie, a lost art)
1. Sholay (some movies are so terribly internalized that you can not judge them)
1. Seven (defines intelligent cinema)
1. Ratatouille (this one showed that actually animation is the superior form of cinema)
1. The Shawshank redemption (that it does not need stars, back ground score, frills but simplicity is still the strongest tool)
1. August Rush (one of those movies which might seem absolutely stupid on paper but brilliant on screen)
1. Yojimbo (this one is yet to be bettered, even after five decades)
1. Blood Diamond (the best thrill in the movie was to know it is non fiction at the end)
1. The Simpson's Movie (nothing beats Simpson)
1. The Godfather (a textbook for converting a book to a movie, a lost art)
1. Sholay (some movies are so terribly internalized that you can not judge them)
1. Seven (defines intelligent cinema)
1. Ratatouille (this one showed that actually animation is the superior form of cinema)
1. The Shawshank redemption (that it does not need stars, back ground score, frills but simplicity is still the strongest tool)
1. August Rush (one of those movies which might seem absolutely stupid on paper but brilliant on screen)
1. Yojimbo (this one is yet to be bettered, even after five decades)
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Backpacking Quotient.
Frustrated?
Bored?
Backpacking seems the only solution?
Heres a one minute guide to test how suitable you are for backpacking:
Rate your comfort level out of hundred for each of the following:
1. Eating a very greasy Bread Pakoda from a very unhygienic place?
2. Sitting on an unpadded seat, withstanding armpit smells?
3. Run 5 kilometers without stopping?
4. Use Indian toilet and Western toilet (with or without toilet paper) with equal panache?
5. (For girls only) Shoo away guys from all races, castes, sects and accents?
6. (For guys only) Not be shooed away from gals from any race, caste, sect or accent?
7. Have the ability to deal with autowallahs every time you get out of a station?
8. Love Sachinopedia?
Now add the percentage you have given to yourself and divide it by 800 to get your Backpacking quotient.
My score:100!
Had planned a series of posts with Wacky thing of the day but lost enthu too soon.
If you wondering what inspired this particular post,
just back from an Agra trip and met lotsa firangs who were inspiring in a strange, unprecedented way.
Bored?
Backpacking seems the only solution?
Heres a one minute guide to test how suitable you are for backpacking:
Rate your comfort level out of hundred for each of the following:
1. Eating a very greasy Bread Pakoda from a very unhygienic place?
2. Sitting on an unpadded seat, withstanding armpit smells?
3. Run 5 kilometers without stopping?
4. Use Indian toilet and Western toilet (with or without toilet paper) with equal panache?
5. (For girls only) Shoo away guys from all races, castes, sects and accents?
6. (For guys only) Not be shooed away from gals from any race, caste, sect or accent?
7. Have the ability to deal with autowallahs every time you get out of a station?
8. Love Sachinopedia?
Now add the percentage you have given to yourself and divide it by 800 to get your Backpacking quotient.
My score:100!
Had planned a series of posts with Wacky thing of the day but lost enthu too soon.
If you wondering what inspired this particular post,
just back from an Agra trip and met lotsa firangs who were inspiring in a strange, unprecedented way.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Whacky Thing of The Day (23rd March)
Watched DD National for half an hour.
A serial titled 'Shohrat'.
Complete episode shot on Ekta Kapoor's weekly pocket money at the age of seven.
Script with Hindi that could beat Jodha Akbar's urdu.
Costumes such that the nukkad natak company employees had forgotten to change before the shoot.
Acting prowess of actors from ramlila.
But the pluses:
Story volume equivalent to one season of Star Plus serials covered in one episode.
No back ground score, such a relief.
Constant grin on my face for thirty minutes.
A serial titled 'Shohrat'.
Complete episode shot on Ekta Kapoor's weekly pocket money at the age of seven.
Script with Hindi that could beat Jodha Akbar's urdu.
Costumes such that the nukkad natak company employees had forgotten to change before the shoot.
Acting prowess of actors from ramlila.
But the pluses:
Story volume equivalent to one season of Star Plus serials covered in one episode.
No back ground score, such a relief.
Constant grin on my face for thirty minutes.
Whacky thing of the day.
MDI down.
Nothing really to add career wise.
Thus launching,
post series by the title:
'Whacky thing of the day'
lets see what I can come up with.
Arbit mind of a day scholar.
Nothing really to add career wise.
Thus launching,
post series by the title:
'Whacky thing of the day'
lets see what I can come up with.
Arbit mind of a day scholar.
Monday, March 17, 2008
When saint Pink Floyd has said
"We dont need no education.
We dont need no thought control."
Who am I to offend him?
When saint Twain said
"A man can not be comfortable without his own approval"
Why did he not give some guidelines on standards to be set for approval?
When wild Wilde said
"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal."
Why did he not use a smilie to tell me if he was kidding?
When iconic Einstein said:
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."
Was he referring precisely to the situation I am going through these days?
When startling Aristotle said:
"All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind."
Why did he miss out on unpaid jobs which dont seem any better?
When Sachin Garg said:
"I feel like writing arbit all night tonight"
Was he serious?
"We dont need no education.
We dont need no thought control."
Who am I to offend him?
When saint Twain said
"A man can not be comfortable without his own approval"
Why did he not give some guidelines on standards to be set for approval?
When wild Wilde said
"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal."
Why did he not use a smilie to tell me if he was kidding?
When iconic Einstein said:
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."
Was he referring precisely to the situation I am going through these days?
When startling Aristotle said:
"All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind."
Why did he miss out on unpaid jobs which dont seem any better?
When Sachin Garg said:
"I feel like writing arbit all night tonight"
Was he serious?
AAM ZINDAGI:
Four years in DCE. Dated no DCEite. Wasted four years.
MENTOS ZINDAGI:
Four years in DCE. No DCEite dated me. Their four years got wasted.
AAM ZINDAGI:
Only ten people read my blog.
MENTOS ZINDAGI:
Nobody reads Ashish's secret blog.
AAM ZINDAGI:
Topped from prenursery to 12th. Reduced to 60% in college.
MENTOS ZINDAGI:
Thousands scored passing marks but I even lost passing marks(40%).
AAM ZINDAGI:
No B school wants me right now.
MENTOS ZINDAGI:
Stanfy beckons after two years.
AAM ZINDAGI:
Why cant I sing?
MENTOS ZINDAGI:
Can Himesh?
AAM ZINDAGI:
It sucks to be single.
MENTOS ZINDAGI:
No it really does suck to be single even in mentos zindagi.
:-(
:-|
:-)
:-D
:-*
Four years in DCE. Dated no DCEite. Wasted four years.
MENTOS ZINDAGI:
Four years in DCE. No DCEite dated me. Their four years got wasted.
AAM ZINDAGI:
Only ten people read my blog.
MENTOS ZINDAGI:
Nobody reads Ashish's secret blog.
AAM ZINDAGI:
Topped from prenursery to 12th. Reduced to 60% in college.
MENTOS ZINDAGI:
Thousands scored passing marks but I even lost passing marks(40%).
AAM ZINDAGI:
No B school wants me right now.
MENTOS ZINDAGI:
Stanfy beckons after two years.
AAM ZINDAGI:
Why cant I sing?
MENTOS ZINDAGI:
Can Himesh?
AAM ZINDAGI:
It sucks to be single.
MENTOS ZINDAGI:
No it really does suck to be single even in mentos zindagi.
:-(
:-|
:-)
:-D
:-*
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Sri Sri Seva Mandir was an experience to remember.Special thanks to Maanvi to have facilitated this trip.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Anti Midas Touch.
I have been an atheist all my life.
I do not believe in fate.
I hate HATE HATE people who read horoscope.
Nothing, I believe, is pre-decided.
But this anti Midas touch I seem to have developed is shaking the base of each and every funda.
I can turn gold to coal.
I do not believe in fate.
I hate HATE HATE people who read horoscope.
Nothing, I believe, is pre-decided.
But this anti Midas touch I seem to have developed is shaking the base of each and every funda.
I can turn gold to coal.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
V day post
V day is nearing and the eternal lover boy that i am, how can i let the chance go to add my bit to the occasion.
Heres one line each dedicated to each one of my ex girl friends, the definition of girl friend strictly being having said/typed the three golden words.
Whatever they suggest, I emphasize that I have loved loving these girls.
number1. Love and inertia are like carrots and radishes. They look similar but one is red and the other is white.
number2. Does dumbness really know no bounds or was it just you?
number3. If I cant tolerate you, most probably, I cant love you.
number4. No seriously, heterosexuality is generally fun. I just had an off day.
number5. You would like Sachin Tendulkar except for the mustache and remember, Tendulkar does not have a mustache.
number6. That message that you read was from number 5 and not one of my friend's silly jokes.
number7. Today, its been thirteen years since we met.
number8. You would have a cute ass if u wax it.
number9. All TV serials are fictitious and should not be referred while making life changing decisions.
number10. I have started saying excuse me after farting.
number11. Loved your acting in 'pretty woman' and 'oceans 12'. We should start dating again.
number12. If only you knocked at the door before coming over to my place that day...
number13. You never know, I might still just manage a career.
number14. My successor made me puke.
number15. Belated Happy Birthday.
number16. Please make sure I am the first one to know as soon as you get your nose surgery done.
number17, Its unnatural to use Janu, sweetoo, cutie pie in one sentence.
number18. Hope you dont make that sound from your nose when you laugh.
number19. Some times, four inches of heels are not enough.
number20. Why did you have to become so hot immediately after we broke up.
number21. I still do, even though I know I shouldn't.
number22. I am still waiting for your second novel after 'the god of small things'.
number23. Hehe, you did expect I would call you back, didn't you?
number24. You French! Racism sucks.
number25. The verb which follows 'didnt' is in present tense, even if you are talking about something from the past.
number26. You are the only girl I have ever come across who did not know that boys are pigs.
number27. Thanks for all the gifts. Sorry for disappearing two days ahead of your birthday.
number28. I switched to 'axe' from the road side ones.
number29. Not everything I say can be described as 'stupid, cutely stupid.'
number30. You missed the right era for being born by seven millenniums.
number31. I promise I would not mistake your name with other girl's name. Just come back. You are very special because you are only thirty first true love.
number32. If you come back, I promise I wont bore you by faking British and American accents, even though I have grown really good at it.
number33. Please change the 'from my past relationships I have learned' section from your Orkut profile. Some of my friends actually know we were dating and it is just too malicious.
number34. Parle vous anglais?
number35. The other day one of my friend talked dirty about you and I did just what you would have wanted me to, gave him your number.
number36. Wish you were not imaginary like the rest of them.
It was fun writing this post.
Should help being single, yet again, this V Day.
P.S. Epilogue added to the post KBC Jaldi?
Heres one line each dedicated to each one of my ex girl friends, the definition of girl friend strictly being having said/typed the three golden words.
Whatever they suggest, I emphasize that I have loved loving these girls.
number1. Love and inertia are like carrots and radishes. They look similar but one is red and the other is white.
number2. Does dumbness really know no bounds or was it just you?
number3. If I cant tolerate you, most probably, I cant love you.
number4. No seriously, heterosexuality is generally fun. I just had an off day.
number5. You would like Sachin Tendulkar except for the mustache and remember, Tendulkar does not have a mustache.
number6. That message that you read was from number 5 and not one of my friend's silly jokes.
number7. Today, its been thirteen years since we met.
number8. You would have a cute ass if u wax it.
number9. All TV serials are fictitious and should not be referred while making life changing decisions.
number10. I have started saying excuse me after farting.
number11. Loved your acting in 'pretty woman' and 'oceans 12'. We should start dating again.
number12. If only you knocked at the door before coming over to my place that day...
number13. You never know, I might still just manage a career.
number14. My successor made me puke.
number15. Belated Happy Birthday.
number16. Please make sure I am the first one to know as soon as you get your nose surgery done.
number17, Its unnatural to use Janu, sweetoo, cutie pie in one sentence.
number18. Hope you dont make that sound from your nose when you laugh.
number19. Some times, four inches of heels are not enough.
number20. Why did you have to become so hot immediately after we broke up.
number21. I still do, even though I know I shouldn't.
number22. I am still waiting for your second novel after 'the god of small things'.
number23. Hehe, you did expect I would call you back, didn't you?
number24. You French! Racism sucks.
number25. The verb which follows 'didnt' is in present tense, even if you are talking about something from the past.
number26. You are the only girl I have ever come across who did not know that boys are pigs.
number27. Thanks for all the gifts. Sorry for disappearing two days ahead of your birthday.
number28. I switched to 'axe' from the road side ones.
number29. Not everything I say can be described as 'stupid, cutely stupid.'
number30. You missed the right era for being born by seven millenniums.
number31. I promise I would not mistake your name with other girl's name. Just come back. You are very special because you are only thirty first true love.
number32. If you come back, I promise I wont bore you by faking British and American accents, even though I have grown really good at it.
number33. Please change the 'from my past relationships I have learned' section from your Orkut profile. Some of my friends actually know we were dating and it is just too malicious.
number34. Parle vous anglais?
number35. The other day one of my friend talked dirty about you and I did just what you would have wanted me to, gave him your number.
number36. Wish you were not imaginary like the rest of them.
It was fun writing this post.
Should help being single, yet again, this V Day.
P.S. Epilogue added to the post KBC Jaldi?
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Short story.(edited)
Caution: do not read if your IQ is below 130.
USHA was an idiot.
USHA was a wild undiscovered bush, reluctant to grow as her classmates loomed large over her, without she even knowing about it, until some of her classmates tried to enslave her as she was about to turn fifteen.
Until her eighteenth year, torture tolled.
starting from the seventy fifth day, till the eighty first day of her eighteenth year, she fought, strategised, talked and emerged victorious.
But irreversible damage had been done by her classmates.
They had mordernised her even more than themselves in the process.
She worked her ass off and was light years ahead of her classmates by the twenty ninth day of her twentieth year until her downfall.
Miscalculations resulted in utter havoc and she was down in the dumps for three full days.
As the third day ended, she came back on track and managed to make sure that it is not repeated for almost a year until today, when once again she is down and seemingly out.
But am I speaking too soon?
It has only been eight hours since she entered this phase of dishevelment.
And there are bigger questions like what will she do if she does not manage to come out of the hole.
Would she jeopardize the same classmates who had once tortured her, even though they are in a condition of stalemate, even friendship with some of those.
How would she react to those out of the one hundred and ninety one classmates who were not part of the torturing party.
Would USHA come out as the big bad daddy destroying everything that it can get its hands on?
Or will she fight the situation like a champion she has been for the last three years and make me sound stupid for having written even before the eighth hour has ended on 22Jan, 9:30 PM, as I write this.
Now my question to the reader is, who/what does USHA symbolize?
Edit:
Solvers till now:
Kshitij Bahadur.
Durjoy Datta.
Doesnt really matter:).
TVOLAD.
My email: sachingarg.dce@gmail.com
Friday, January 11, 2008
High on chewing gum...
Literature 101 Test Paper
Question1: An apple is kept on the lectern of an author. Try to be in the shoes of several different authors with diverse styles and try to emulate their writing styles.
Chetan Bhagat:
This is an apple.
Inzamam-ul-Haq:
Allah be praised. This is a appel.
Arundhati Roy:
This is an apple, saving which the gardener must have run behind naughty kids who stole apples just for the fun of it, rather than the need, vacating space in the process for the monkeys to latch on to branch after branch to make their way to the much coveted apple which hung there, indifferent to act against its own downfall and disappearance in the obliviousness of the intestines of our ancestral specie, only half intelligent as us, and consequently, only half hygienic. It does not mind its atoms being mixed with those of stinky unmentionable stuff, a death much more contemptible than a respectful one of natural causes which it might manage to sneak if he manages to escape from the attention of the monkey today and tomorrow of the gardener.
Lauren Weisenberg:
Well, on days like these one really does regret becoming a writer in the first place. Not being paid for the most uninteresting, pseudo unchallenging job which, on top of it all, is not going to be read by anyone.
Sweet.
So dear Mr apple, I bow to your supremacy of possessing the power to propel life, which, agreed, thousands of other species of living beings also do, but you are still, no doubt, peculiar.
I must say however, that had there been any other fruit or vegetable in front of me today to be described, that would have also been equally peculiar.
Sulman Rushdie:
Rising in buoyant curves in implicit shoulders, judging from the ratio they made between the bench to the crest, reflecting light with differential magnitude on its crimson shimmering surface, the apple is kept on the table, in a state of too much superciliousness to react at the honor of being the subject of inspiration of the winner of Booker of Booker's, myself. It’s daring me for a conflict of the titans, as to who will psyche out the other and prove his dominance by not attempting to demonstrate it at all.
M.K. Gandhi:
Eating an apple is directly related to rising lust level in a man. I shall resist it till the last drop of my blood.
Doctors keep requesting me to eat apples as my iron level is on the fall steadily. But I just join my hands and refuse the offer politely explaining to them that only sacrifice can lead to true attainment of ideal life style, lust is a direct enemy of which.
I hope my Kathiawad friends and my son Hari can understand my view point and forgive me for this.
P.G. Wodehouse:
It is amazing how seemingly easy jobs can turn out to be the toughest ones. Today I was told I have to describe an object. I geared myself for the Chateau de Versailles or the Pinnah fish to be presented for which I would happily weave fancy sentences, dedicating personal attention to each and every possible view of the object.
But what an anticlimax to find an apple kept on the table.
What can any one write about an apple?
Even though this line and the previous one are being read back to back by you, they have three gruelling hours between them, and as you must have guessed by now, I am going to hand it over to Jeeves and take a nap now, finding myself incapable of writing a single sentence about it.
It was only three days later that I accidentally came across what Jeeves had finally written in his neat petite handwriting:
'This is a red apple.'
Jeeves, educated just enough to be a butler, had yet again outwitted me.
P.S.:Did Harbhajan say ‘monkey’ or did he say ‘maa ki?’
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Life is lotcha.
Its that part of the year again. Here goes, fingers crossed:
Resolution #1: Ought to get published before 2009 arrives, be it in the technical press of IEEE through a research paper or the much-lusted-for Penguin India through my first novel 'A Theory Of Intelligence.'
(Details deliberately withheld to validate the print-outs of my own printer as having been published.)
Resolution #2: Will not be short sighted for any career related decisions and would always take the bigger picture in to account, every time. Will not treat myself as a gifted, extra terrestrial, super natural powers possessing, higher being and will keep it simple.
(All it means is fancier excuses coming up for procrastination of all career related tasks.)
Resolution #3: Will appropriately exploit all my half talents like sketching, biking, soccer, writing(?), athletics, cricket, biking, scuplturing, reciting, anchoring, dancing, sky diving, hair dressing, tailoring and cooking by practising each one of them for at least two hours, every day.
(Position vacant for a sky diving mate) .
Resolution #4: Will graduate my four pack to an ala SRK six pack.
(Cant promise, but will also try to not turn down requests for tips on developing a four pack.)
Resolution #5: Will top eigth semester, Electronics and Communication Engineering, Delhi College of Engineering.
(Dont laugh. Its only been nine years since I last topped my class.)
Resolution #6: I will watch more movies, read more books and become even more sane.
(sane, you see, is a flexible word.)
Resolution #33: I will not tamper with point number of my posts to bring the delusion of a long post.
(ciao.)
P.S. With eight definite and four marginally wrong decisions in one match and one racist charge which is hard/impossible to gulp, I will be disappointed if Indian Cricket team stops giving a shit about the spirit of the game and comes back before the tour really ends.
Resolution #1: Ought to get published before 2009 arrives, be it in the technical press of IEEE through a research paper or the much-lusted-for Penguin India through my first novel 'A Theory Of Intelligence.'
(Details deliberately withheld to validate the print-outs of my own printer as having been published.)
Resolution #2: Will not be short sighted for any career related decisions and would always take the bigger picture in to account, every time. Will not treat myself as a gifted, extra terrestrial, super natural powers possessing, higher being and will keep it simple.
(All it means is fancier excuses coming up for procrastination of all career related tasks.)
Resolution #3: Will appropriately exploit all my half talents like sketching, biking, soccer, writing(?), athletics, cricket, biking, scuplturing, reciting, anchoring, dancing, sky diving, hair dressing, tailoring and cooking by practising each one of them for at least two hours, every day.
(Position vacant for a sky diving mate) .
Resolution #4: Will graduate my four pack to an ala SRK six pack.
(Cant promise, but will also try to not turn down requests for tips on developing a four pack.)
Resolution #5: Will top eigth semester, Electronics and Communication Engineering, Delhi College of Engineering.
(Dont laugh. Its only been nine years since I last topped my class.)
Resolution #6: I will watch more movies, read more books and become even more sane.
(sane, you see, is a flexible word.)
Resolution #33: I will not tamper with point number of my posts to bring the delusion of a long post.
(ciao.)
P.S. With eight definite and four marginally wrong decisions in one match and one racist charge which is hard/impossible to gulp, I will be disappointed if Indian Cricket team stops giving a shit about the spirit of the game and comes back before the tour really ends.
Friday, December 21, 2007
I rock, do I?
rock music is a variant of hindustani classical music which originated in the Andamans in the fourth century and travelled to Portugal with Vasco de Gama.
It is a tool adopted by saliva factories to take revenge from the world for giving them a headaches for reasons like paying room rent or buying toilet paper.
standing in the front row in a rock concert is like being hung by your chest hair (no offense meant if you are a girl).
rock music should be banned if not buried.
It is a tool adopted by saliva factories to take revenge from the world for giving them a headaches for reasons like paying room rent or buying toilet paper.
standing in the front row in a rock concert is like being hung by your chest hair (no offense meant if you are a girl).
rock music should be banned if not buried.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Gujarat
Floods, quakes, terrorist attacks, riots, plague, draught, fake shoot outs, Gujarat has seen it all in a matter of eleven years.
But if Narendra Modi wins this time around, I would get in a personal war with the land of India’s most famous son.
And the biggest loser of the stand off might be the innocent IIMA if I pledge to not land a step in Gujarat.
But if Narendra Modi wins this time around, I would get in a personal war with the land of India’s most famous son.
And the biggest loser of the stand off might be the innocent IIMA if I pledge to not land a step in Gujarat.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Cricket, the insect.
Doordarshan keeps adding new dimensions to the word heinous. Their coverage of the Indo Pak clash
is nothing short of it. Here are some commentary excerpts from a 'two hour' viewing:
1. Misbah ul Had didn't quitted the wicket.
-the hopelessly intolerable Atul Wasan.
2. Its a rare way of getting out but happens commonly in cricket.
-again, the over paid genius, Atul Wasan.
3. The ball pitched outside the off stump so it can not be given out even though it hit in line and was going to hit the stumps.
-some non celebrity chap, supposed to be masters in Cricket Honours to be commenting on National TV., didn't know LBW rules.
2007 is about to end and it marks the end of one decade of being a cricket fan in my otherwise useless life.
So, it was time I announced my totally TOTALLY uninvited, unintelligent cricket awards of the last ten years.
Please note that no stats have been referred for this post.
Best Innings(test): there is a tie between Nathan Astle and V.V.S. Laxman.
Astle killed English bowlers to pile the fastest and bestest double century ever in world cricket. You gotta watch it to believe it.
Laxman did the unthinkable. If I wrote such a thing in my book, it will be trashed as unrealistic. His 281 reminded me of my own batting.
Best Innings(ODI): Again a tie between Gibbs and our very own Ganguli.
Chasing 434, Gibbs would not have taken his captain seriously in the lunch break when he would have said we can do it. They did, with Gibbs getting 175. Some batting display it was.
Ganguli hit the Sri Lankan bowlers to every part of the Trentbridge ground, an innings I would forever remember for his uncharacteristic reception of ovation before leaving the ground.
Best bowling(test): Bhajji obviously, the hatrick against the Aussies.
Best bowling(ODI): Ashish Nehra got six wickets against the English in the world cup. The ball defied all concepts of momentum and traveled in weird trajectories.
Most important catch drop: This category has been specially included to discuss the Gibbs dropped catch of Steve Waugh which changed Cricketing history more than any event ever did. Steve Waugh's eventual century and win of the 99 world cup marked a new era and Aussies became what I am in electronics: undisputed champs.
comments on the present team:
What is common between Dinesh Karthik and Ajit Agarkar?
For two years, Agarkar asked himself every night that what did he have to do to get out the Indian Cricket Team.
Dinesh Karthink has just begun the act but he is fast picking pace.
Why does Ishant Sharma not look Indian?
Slim, tall, five wicket haul, long hair, Ishant Sharma has everything a usual Indian pacer does not.
Why is Dada having a great year?
Bat with the old dead unswinging unbouncing unchallenging ball idiots. As a bonus you get to avoid Shoib Akhtar.
Why am I writing this?
Normally, I hate criticizing cricketing events. Today, I don't.
is nothing short of it. Here are some commentary excerpts from a 'two hour' viewing:
1. Misbah ul Had didn't quitted the wicket.
-the hopelessly intolerable Atul Wasan.
2. Its a rare way of getting out but happens commonly in cricket.
-again, the over paid genius, Atul Wasan.
3. The ball pitched outside the off stump so it can not be given out even though it hit in line and was going to hit the stumps.
-some non celebrity chap, supposed to be masters in Cricket Honours to be commenting on National TV., didn't know LBW rules.
2007 is about to end and it marks the end of one decade of being a cricket fan in my otherwise useless life.
So, it was time I announced my totally TOTALLY uninvited, unintelligent cricket awards of the last ten years.
Please note that no stats have been referred for this post.
Best Innings(test): there is a tie between Nathan Astle and V.V.S. Laxman.
Astle killed English bowlers to pile the fastest and bestest double century ever in world cricket. You gotta watch it to believe it.
Laxman did the unthinkable. If I wrote such a thing in my book, it will be trashed as unrealistic. His 281 reminded me of my own batting.
Best Innings(ODI): Again a tie between Gibbs and our very own Ganguli.
Chasing 434, Gibbs would not have taken his captain seriously in the lunch break when he would have said we can do it. They did, with Gibbs getting 175. Some batting display it was.
Ganguli hit the Sri Lankan bowlers to every part of the Trentbridge ground, an innings I would forever remember for his uncharacteristic reception of ovation before leaving the ground.
Best bowling(test): Bhajji obviously, the hatrick against the Aussies.
Best bowling(ODI): Ashish Nehra got six wickets against the English in the world cup. The ball defied all concepts of momentum and traveled in weird trajectories.
Most important catch drop: This category has been specially included to discuss the Gibbs dropped catch of Steve Waugh which changed Cricketing history more than any event ever did. Steve Waugh's eventual century and win of the 99 world cup marked a new era and Aussies became what I am in electronics: undisputed champs.
comments on the present team:
What is common between Dinesh Karthik and Ajit Agarkar?
For two years, Agarkar asked himself every night that what did he have to do to get out the Indian Cricket Team.
Dinesh Karthink has just begun the act but he is fast picking pace.
Why does Ishant Sharma not look Indian?
Slim, tall, five wicket haul, long hair, Ishant Sharma has everything a usual Indian pacer does not.
Why is Dada having a great year?
Bat with the old dead unswinging unbouncing unchallenging ball idiots. As a bonus you get to avoid Shoib Akhtar.
Why am I writing this?
Normally, I hate criticizing cricketing events. Today, I don't.
Monday, December 3, 2007
High on highness.
Was I really in a place so beautiful?
Did I really take this pic?
Is it humanly possible to go to Paris and not fall in love with it?
Will I ever get enough of gling at this pic?
Aren't the swan, hills, sun, trees and water perfectly oriented as if posing for this pic?
Will I ever have another desktop wallpaper?
Paris, je REALLY REALLY t'aime.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
CAT 07
Its rummy that I put in only a week in CAT preparation.
Its rummy that there is still a possibility that it might have just proved enough.
Its rummy that the dynamic CAT had no surprises this year.
Its rummy that still I found myself devoid of any sort of strategy.
Its rummy that the total number of questions I must have practiced for Quant would be less than one hundredth of a usual CAT aspirant.
Its rummy that I still scored twice the cut off.
Its rummy that the CAT Data Interpretation Section was easier than it has ever been.
Its rummy that still I only just managed to clear the DI cut off.
Its rummy that every thing now hinges on my English marks.
Its rummy that if I get thirty five, seven (Shillong now has the seventh) IIM calls.
Its rummy that if I get thirty, four IIMs.
Its rummy that if I get less than twenty five, no IIM calls at all.
Its rummy that even with an attempt of seventy two marks, my chances of getting through are not very bright.
What is even more rummy than all this is that I could not find any discrepancy or ambiguity in the sixty odd practice papers offered by institutes like Career Launcher, T.I.M.E. or IMS. Bbut IIMs, with their impeccable panel, can not avoid mistakes. In fact, there might be three or four of them in this year's paper.
Its rummy that there is still a possibility that it might have just proved enough.
Its rummy that the dynamic CAT had no surprises this year.
Its rummy that still I found myself devoid of any sort of strategy.
Its rummy that the total number of questions I must have practiced for Quant would be less than one hundredth of a usual CAT aspirant.
Its rummy that I still scored twice the cut off.
Its rummy that the CAT Data Interpretation Section was easier than it has ever been.
Its rummy that still I only just managed to clear the DI cut off.
Its rummy that every thing now hinges on my English marks.
Its rummy that if I get thirty five, seven (Shillong now has the seventh) IIM calls.
Its rummy that if I get thirty, four IIMs.
Its rummy that if I get less than twenty five, no IIM calls at all.
Its rummy that even with an attempt of seventy two marks, my chances of getting through are not very bright.
What is even more rummy than all this is that I could not find any discrepancy or ambiguity in the sixty odd practice papers offered by institutes like Career Launcher, T.I.M.E. or IMS. Bbut IIMs, with their impeccable panel, can not avoid mistakes. In fact, there might be three or four of them in this year's paper.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
THE theory of Intelligence IV
Note:Please read 'A Theory of Intelligence I,II,III' before you read this.
Not too many years ago, I did this:
When I drew this sketch, I was completely over come by a desire to see it framed. The muse promised to sponsor the same although it never happened.
I have no clue where the sketch is now and whether it still exists or not.
I was taken over by exactly the same feeling today after not too many years.
I have knitted the plot of my book for some months now but its been quite some days since I penned any part of it.
I am never busy. My state only changes from I should be busy, so I better not take up vella (useless) tasks to I am free, so I can afford a day out.
But the fact remains that even when I am supposed to be busy, I can easily put in the time spent watching TV on an outing.
So recently, its been an I-ought-to-be-busy phase.
This explains my refrain from blogging, replying to mails, wishing best buddy on her b'day and the list is listless.
I was completely caught unaware when I sat down to analyse how my book was shaping with a marker and white board to find that I had actually framed eleven meaningful chapters!
How it would feel to see my work in print, I cant wait to discover.
Passing across Harper Collins in CP made me feel the way I felt passing IIT in class 12.
How I wish I get there.
The time has come that I formally announced the first feedback of the book.
The judge, lets call her M, is going to be a three year old buddy.
An avid reader, hypo-critical(most importantly), whose opinion I can appreciate.
More over, I like to believe, that she believes that I have a midas touch and hence will take my lunatic/ingenious attempt seriously.
P.S. The sem result is out and I am convincingly passing in almost all of them.
Not too many years ago, I did this:
When I drew this sketch, I was completely over come by a desire to see it framed. The muse promised to sponsor the same although it never happened.
I have no clue where the sketch is now and whether it still exists or not.
I was taken over by exactly the same feeling today after not too many years.
I have knitted the plot of my book for some months now but its been quite some days since I penned any part of it.
I am never busy. My state only changes from I should be busy, so I better not take up vella (useless) tasks to I am free, so I can afford a day out.
But the fact remains that even when I am supposed to be busy, I can easily put in the time spent watching TV on an outing.
So recently, its been an I-ought-to-be-busy phase.
This explains my refrain from blogging, replying to mails, wishing best buddy on her b'day and the list is listless.
I was completely caught unaware when I sat down to analyse how my book was shaping with a marker and white board to find that I had actually framed eleven meaningful chapters!
How it would feel to see my work in print, I cant wait to discover.
Passing across Harper Collins in CP made me feel the way I felt passing IIT in class 12.
How I wish I get there.
The time has come that I formally announced the first feedback of the book.
The judge, lets call her M, is going to be a three year old buddy.
An avid reader, hypo-critical(most importantly), whose opinion I can appreciate.
More over, I like to believe, that she believes that I have a midas touch and hence will take my lunatic/ingenious attempt seriously.
P.S. The sem result is out and I am convincingly passing in almost all of them.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Being Mussadi
Misery often leaves you laughing hard.
It turns out that the toughest paper work about a foreign internship is definitely not managing a Passport or a Visa.
It is getting some papers signed by the college authorities.
Here is the hilarious (to me, at least) journey through the sarkari (ineffective) ways of one of the top ten engineering colleges of India.
Keep in mind that for reasons hard to put in words, no two of the following meetings could take place on the same day.
People I approached followed by their responses:
1:H.O.D, Electronics.
Did you not read the newspaper today?
It clearly states I am ultra busy today.
Come tomorrow.
2.H.O.D, Electronics.
You again dint read the newspaper?
Come tomorrow.
3.H.O.D, Electronics.
*frowns, no, sulks*
he:Why are you here?
me:Paris Internship.
he:Meet the Dean Academics.
4.Dean Academics:
How dare you meet me.
You rusted piece of dusty mud.
How dare you were born.
Your H.O.D should himself handle the case.
5.H.O.D, Electronics.
Why did you go?
How did you go?
Where did you go?
When did you go?
What did you go for?
*taking the maximum possible time to understand every reply of mine*
I am forwarding your application to the princi.
6.Princi's P.A.
*triumphant as if just had a personal win*
He is out of office. Will come next week.
7.Princi.
*as taciturn as they get*
Forwarded to Administrative Head with the question:
"What is our take on such cases?"
8.Administrative Head.
*Looks at me as if I had asked him the future strategy of FIIs on the rising Sensex*
Forwarded to Dean Academics with no comments/questions/requests.
9.Dean Academics.
*Looks at me with a silent growl*
Forwarded to the Head Clerk.
10.Head Clerk.
*in the most matter-of-factly manner*
he:We cant help you.
me:Why?
he:You should have come a month earlier.
me:But if you check the date on which the letter was forwarded by my HOD to the princi, it is of two months back.
he:*with fakest possible anger* How dare you answer back to me. Gimme your I card.
I came out of the room and laughed louder than I have in recent times.
It turns out that the toughest paper work about a foreign internship is definitely not managing a Passport or a Visa.
It is getting some papers signed by the college authorities.
Here is the hilarious (to me, at least) journey through the sarkari (ineffective) ways of one of the top ten engineering colleges of India.
Keep in mind that for reasons hard to put in words, no two of the following meetings could take place on the same day.
People I approached followed by their responses:
1:H.O.D, Electronics.
Did you not read the newspaper today?
It clearly states I am ultra busy today.
Come tomorrow.
2.H.O.D, Electronics.
You again dint read the newspaper?
Come tomorrow.
3.H.O.D, Electronics.
*frowns, no, sulks*
he:Why are you here?
me:Paris Internship.
he:Meet the Dean Academics.
4.Dean Academics:
How dare you meet me.
You rusted piece of dusty mud.
How dare you were born.
Your H.O.D should himself handle the case.
5.H.O.D, Electronics.
Why did you go?
How did you go?
Where did you go?
When did you go?
What did you go for?
*taking the maximum possible time to understand every reply of mine*
I am forwarding your application to the princi.
6.Princi's P.A.
*triumphant as if just had a personal win*
He is out of office. Will come next week.
7.Princi.
*as taciturn as they get*
Forwarded to Administrative Head with the question:
"What is our take on such cases?"
8.Administrative Head.
*Looks at me as if I had asked him the future strategy of FIIs on the rising Sensex*
Forwarded to Dean Academics with no comments/questions/requests.
9.Dean Academics.
*Looks at me with a silent growl*
Forwarded to the Head Clerk.
10.Head Clerk.
*in the most matter-of-factly manner*
he:We cant help you.
me:Why?
he:You should have come a month earlier.
me:But if you check the date on which the letter was forwarded by my HOD to the princi, it is of two months back.
he:*with fakest possible anger* How dare you answer back to me. Gimme your I card.
I came out of the room and laughed louder than I have in recent times.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Free fall
People often complain of sameness of their lives but the last four months would testify that I am their absolute anti-theory.
The feeling of free fall often fascinates me and is frequently the subject of my day dreamings.
The cause of such a feeling to arise can be categorized in three ways:
Physical:
The steep turns of a water slide make you momentarily air borne which gives you a tickle of extreme fear in which you become confident that you have gone off track and heading face first to hard ground. But the feeling ends before it can cause serious damage.
Those lucky/brave souls who have bungee jumped know exactly what I am talking about. I wish I could defer the post till I have been through it but there is no guarantee that I ever will be.
Mental:
In my sixth hour of the flight between Paris and Moscow, I began to get terribly claustrophobic. A cheap Russian Airlines is the last thing you want if you are as averse to sitting in one place as I am. I tried to doze off and each time I closed my eyes, I would imagine the plane as if I was watching it from ten metres away and then suddenly in a free fall. That was the closest I ever got to the feeling of mental free fall.
Emotional:
This is what has instigated this post and if you are still reading, be glad.
Every thing has been in your control for years.
You love your dad/ mom/ husband / wife.
And then suddenly he loses his power to analyze.
He loses it completely.
Imagine one of your loved one, leaving home to look for Krishna conscience as ENSEA's, Justine Precioso's cousin had gone. She got ultra excited the moment she heard I am from India.
Imagine your loved one losing all traces of competitiveness on the look out for some thing else.
Or any god damn thing. Its a sinking feeling and its even worse when you have hope that things will get back in place but they never do.
Imagine being incarcerated away from any one whom you have ever wanted to meet. You care a damn about the inflation rate or t20 cup. Your only botheration is to cut a day without being uncontrollably depressed. To spend a day with just two or three emotional break downs would be a day spent well.
At moments like these you understand what freedom is. You understand what emotional free fall is all about. All except Buddha from the third century are slaves to such feelings.
You grasp at whatever you can get your hands on but it doesn't work. You just keep falling and falling reflecting on whatever has happened or going to happen.
The feeling of free fall often fascinates me and is frequently the subject of my day dreamings.
The cause of such a feeling to arise can be categorized in three ways:
Physical:
The steep turns of a water slide make you momentarily air borne which gives you a tickle of extreme fear in which you become confident that you have gone off track and heading face first to hard ground. But the feeling ends before it can cause serious damage.
Those lucky/brave souls who have bungee jumped know exactly what I am talking about. I wish I could defer the post till I have been through it but there is no guarantee that I ever will be.
Mental:
In my sixth hour of the flight between Paris and Moscow, I began to get terribly claustrophobic. A cheap Russian Airlines is the last thing you want if you are as averse to sitting in one place as I am. I tried to doze off and each time I closed my eyes, I would imagine the plane as if I was watching it from ten metres away and then suddenly in a free fall. That was the closest I ever got to the feeling of mental free fall.
Emotional:
This is what has instigated this post and if you are still reading, be glad.
Every thing has been in your control for years.
You love your dad/ mom/ husband / wife.
And then suddenly he loses his power to analyze.
He loses it completely.
Imagine one of your loved one, leaving home to look for Krishna conscience as ENSEA's, Justine Precioso's cousin had gone. She got ultra excited the moment she heard I am from India.
Imagine your loved one losing all traces of competitiveness on the look out for some thing else.
Or any god damn thing. Its a sinking feeling and its even worse when you have hope that things will get back in place but they never do.
Imagine being incarcerated away from any one whom you have ever wanted to meet. You care a damn about the inflation rate or t20 cup. Your only botheration is to cut a day without being uncontrollably depressed. To spend a day with just two or three emotional break downs would be a day spent well.
At moments like these you understand what freedom is. You understand what emotional free fall is all about. All except Buddha from the third century are slaves to such feelings.
You grasp at whatever you can get your hands on but it doesn't work. You just keep falling and falling reflecting on whatever has happened or going to happen.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
A Theory of Intelligence III
D.Q. (Disarray Quotient) can be measured in several ways. If you list the chores / job / work / targets / assignments you presently have on hand and the ink in your pen ends before the list, then your D.Q is approaching mine.
I don't have any god damn clue as to how to get everything back on track.
The unsuspecting victim of this mess up is my baby "A Theory of Intelligence", my book. Having finished writing the climax of the book and received rave reviews (yes!) for whatever snippets I have made some decent connoisseurs of literature read, it pains me to drop the project even temporarily.
I don't have any god damn clue as to how to get everything back on track.
The unsuspecting victim of this mess up is my baby "A Theory of Intelligence", my book. Having finished writing the climax of the book and received rave reviews (yes!) for whatever snippets I have made some decent connoisseurs of literature read, it pains me to drop the project even temporarily.
By the way, the climax is around 40 pages of a usual book and must be around one fifty pages when full justice is done to the content. I drop the rest of the plot until I am very very vella ( idle) which should be in January.
But this does not, by any means, mean that the brain storming or the discussion would cease mean while. I have no clue about the rest of the story and this hiatus should help me give some wine-fy the rest of the story.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Borrowed under garments
Edit: Half of this is post is fictitious.
Analytical Writing in GRE is all about analogies. The topic is the best analogy I can think of for my foray into technology as a career.
The analogy is relevant in more than one ways.
Why would one want to borrow under garments? Obviously because of lack of fore sight. He failed to analyze some upcoming situation and muddled it up completely. I did something similar.
Borrowed under garments seldom fit well. Or you can say that you did not fit them well. That is exactly what happened.
Borrowed under garments always leave you with that feeling that did I do the right thing by borrowing it? Would I have not done better without any at all? This is exactly how I feel right now. I wonder if I was to go back in time then would I have taken GRE again.
Borrowed under garments always leave you with a genuine defense for the situation which resulted in the occuring of the mess up. "Actually, एनं मौक़े पर ये हो गया, वरना सब मस्त था "(to translate: " this happened at the last moment or everything was under control"). I have my own 'genuine' defense and as DJ and Seth would testify, it aint all that bad.
Borrowed under garments always leave you with a nagging preoccupation of trying to conceal the act. Discovery would be so embarassing! I wish I had not babbled so much about my GRE.
Borrowed under garments always receive negative reaction from parents.
Borrowed under garments are unhappy memory.
P.S. I am far from being depressed about it. Feel free to write anything in the comment section.
Analytical Writing in GRE is all about analogies. The topic is the best analogy I can think of for my foray into technology as a career.
The analogy is relevant in more than one ways.
Why would one want to borrow under garments? Obviously because of lack of fore sight. He failed to analyze some upcoming situation and muddled it up completely. I did something similar.
Borrowed under garments seldom fit well. Or you can say that you did not fit them well. That is exactly what happened.
Borrowed under garments always leave you with that feeling that did I do the right thing by borrowing it? Would I have not done better without any at all? This is exactly how I feel right now. I wonder if I was to go back in time then would I have taken GRE again.
Borrowed under garments always leave you with a genuine defense for the situation which resulted in the occuring of the mess up. "Actually, एनं मौक़े पर ये हो गया, वरना सब मस्त था "(to translate: " this happened at the last moment or everything was under control"). I have my own 'genuine' defense and as DJ and Seth would testify, it aint all that bad.
Borrowed under garments always leave you with a nagging preoccupation of trying to conceal the act. Discovery would be so embarassing! I wish I had not babbled so much about my GRE.
Borrowed under garments always receive negative reaction from parents.
Borrowed under garments are unhappy memory.
P.S. I am far from being depressed about it. Feel free to write anything in the comment section.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
A theory of intelligence II
Note: Please read the post right below this one (A theory of intelligence-I), before you read this.
----------------------------------------------------------
A THEORY OF INTELLIGENCE
everday events, rare thoughts
Sachin Garg
(baarahwi pass)
Part-I
Chapter 1
Bare Beginning
I was not in free fall.
--------------------------------------------------
This is a teaser preview of the book. Starting from the cover page and ending with the first sentence of the book. The week was occupied by taking the toughest decision related to the book which is to whether write it or not. The decision has been made. The book is going to be written. I Am not aiming to get it published as of now. The aim is to test myself.
Here are the recent developments:
Present status:
Three authors need a special mention for my futile/best-ever attempt:
Feedback:
Please share your first impression on reading the following and what they make you expect.
----------------------------------------------------------
A THEORY OF INTELLIGENCE
everday events, rare thoughts
Sachin Garg
(baarahwi pass)
Part-I
Chapter 1
Bare Beginning
I was not in free fall.
--------------------------------------------------
This is a teaser preview of the book. Starting from the cover page and ending with the first sentence of the book. The week was occupied by taking the toughest decision related to the book which is to whether write it or not. The decision has been made. The book is going to be written. I Am not aiming to get it published as of now. The aim is to test myself.
Here are the recent developments:
Present status:
- I had planned on five chapters initially but I soon realized that all of them were beyond the scope of a chapter and they have been promoted to five parts of the book.
- All my analysis have given me a whopping twenty percent chance of being up to something worth while here. I am more than happy with twenty percent. Its a lot more than I can ask for.
- Two chapters of the first part have been
written and its been an exhilarating experience. Writing a book needs thirty sixty degree thinking with highest possible concentration, which some how
I had not expected. Its really taxing
for the brain and can not be done for more than thirty minutes at stretch. Having knitted the story in my skull before beginning is turning out to be a HUGE asset.
- All my creative khudak (urge) is being satisfied by the book these days which might mean that I become irregular at my blog. With GRE just ten days away, life is getting hectic.
Three authors need a special mention for my futile/best-ever attempt:
- I wanted to find a way of paying tribute to the man who has encouraged every other DCEite to attempt writing a book. Some how, I cant help assuming that the number of IITians trying to emulate him cant be small. I have named the first chapter same as the first chapter of his book -bare beginnings. I need to clarify here that my book is in no way similar to Chetan Bhagat's and I am not a fan of his writings. But he is an inspiration power house for the not-so-talented in literature but gifted at story knitting janata.
- My only inspiration to write is Ayn Rand. Again, I can not say I am in love with her writings but I want to write like her. But she was gifted. Am I? Finding an answer to this question pretty much sums up the aim of the book.
- How can I let go a chance to bash Robin Shama. Heres the story behind my rivalry with the author of 'the monk who sold his ferrari':14 hours to my Transmission Lines and Wave Guide exam and my friends tell me about the awesome reviews they have read for the book. I cant resist. I started reading the book thinking I ll read just a few pages. The starting is pathetic.What makes the book so popular?I had to read beyond. The middle part is also bakwaas. May be there is some thing about the ending. Two hours to the exam. The ending was terrible.The exam was obviously screwed, as usual. I hate Robin Sharma.
Feedback:
Please share your first impression on reading the following and what they make you expect.
- The idea of writing a book by a baarahwi (twelfth) pass person who has not had any writing success except the one in a Story Writing Competition organised by Scholastic in class X.
- Title: A theory of intelligence.
- Subtitle: Everyday events, rare thoughts
- First sentence: I was not in free fall.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
A theory of intelligence
This is to formally announce that I have finally started work on my first book. Here are the details:
The book, as of now, has 5 chapters.
1st Chapter: This chapter is about semi-introducing the characters. Though you dont really get to know them, you get a feel of who they are. The book has two main characters and the back drop is, u guessed it, Paris. Had to be Paris. Its about a side kick Pulkit, form Delhi, stuck in Paris with an ultra intelligent chap, Narayanan Ramanan (Dear Narayanan, I never told you that I love your name and had decided to use it the day I heard it for the first time.It just fits my character perfectly) from Chennai. I am done with the first rough draft of this chapter and conservative estimates put it at 20 pages of MS Word at font 12, its long enough. Its philosophy all the way. One of the two concepts I have nested in my brain, which I was desperate to share which forced me to write this book in the first place.
2nd, 3rd Chapter: They cover the mystery part. Something happens and they both get out of it. Cant be shared here unfortunately. But its interesting, I assure you. Although I have rough drafted only the first chapter, and wont go beyond that probably till January, these chapters are well shaped somewhere inside my skull.
4th Chapter: This chapter is the build up to the last chapter. It sets up the scene to the grand climax. It starts with delving in to the psyche of the two characters. Some turn of events and deductions result in the final unfolding.
5th Chapter: This is the climax of the book. Pray it appeals to the intellectuals. Pray it is good. I am often haunted by the thought that what if everybody dismisses it as common place, hackneyed. It is at moments like these that Robin Sharma comes to the rescue. Not only did he write a book as terrible as 'The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari', he also found a publisher and he also got it on some best seller lists. No matter how hard I try, I can not succeed in beating him in writing crap.
The climax has been shaping up for some time now. But I soon realised that its beyond the scope of a blog, diary entry or e mail. It needs a book. A book called: 'A theory of intelligence'.
Plan of action: I have not let myself down for some time now. I hope this does not kill the euphoria. I hope I finish this endeavour I have taken up. I plan to start writing and researching in January for the book. And get a fair draft by April.
The book, as of now, has 5 chapters.
1st Chapter: This chapter is about semi-introducing the characters. Though you dont really get to know them, you get a feel of who they are. The book has two main characters and the back drop is, u guessed it, Paris. Had to be Paris. Its about a side kick Pulkit, form Delhi, stuck in Paris with an ultra intelligent chap, Narayanan Ramanan (Dear Narayanan, I never told you that I love your name and had decided to use it the day I heard it for the first time.It just fits my character perfectly) from Chennai. I am done with the first rough draft of this chapter and conservative estimates put it at 20 pages of MS Word at font 12, its long enough. Its philosophy all the way. One of the two concepts I have nested in my brain, which I was desperate to share which forced me to write this book in the first place.
2nd, 3rd Chapter: They cover the mystery part. Something happens and they both get out of it. Cant be shared here unfortunately. But its interesting, I assure you. Although I have rough drafted only the first chapter, and wont go beyond that probably till January, these chapters are well shaped somewhere inside my skull.
4th Chapter: This chapter is the build up to the last chapter. It sets up the scene to the grand climax. It starts with delving in to the psyche of the two characters. Some turn of events and deductions result in the final unfolding.
5th Chapter: This is the climax of the book. Pray it appeals to the intellectuals. Pray it is good. I am often haunted by the thought that what if everybody dismisses it as common place, hackneyed. It is at moments like these that Robin Sharma comes to the rescue. Not only did he write a book as terrible as 'The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari', he also found a publisher and he also got it on some best seller lists. No matter how hard I try, I can not succeed in beating him in writing crap.
The climax has been shaping up for some time now. But I soon realised that its beyond the scope of a blog, diary entry or e mail. It needs a book. A book called: 'A theory of intelligence'.
Plan of action: I have not let myself down for some time now. I hope this does not kill the euphoria. I hope I finish this endeavour I have taken up. I plan to start writing and researching in January for the book. And get a fair draft by April.
KBC Jaldi?
On 27th of June 2004, which was also my eighteenth b day, I made a decision on which I often ponder. The decision was to opt for DCE with every stream available over IIT with geology and pulp and paper and mining as options. IIT Delhi was not an option at that time as Delhi has only 15 courses for Bachelors and they are pretty fast to get taken up. I had to go to one of the smaller towns. And today on 15th of September 2007, as I sit without a job, with decent chances, in my own(and only my own) opinion, of makin it to some decent university in some part of the world, some case studies force me to share my experience with you. I have four cases to share here. First being of The Bong guy, whose name I do not know, second of the XYZ boy who went to ABC IIT,third of my friend Tejbir and the last of my own.
First case is the Bong guy:
The Bong guy is 26 something.He got an above 3500 rank in IIT and took up geology or something in Indian School of Mining, Dhanbad. Today he earns 20lacs per annum and travels business class. Which is some success, trust me.
Second case is of the XYZ guy, whose name I have no intention of sharing:
He went to one of the best IITs with one of the sharpest brain on the planet, but failed miserably. When I last heard of him, he was struggling with a CGPA of 4, which is pathetic, and was clearing his previous back logs all through out the summer vacation.
But some how when it comes to IITians, you know that a gorgeous career beckons him any way.
The third case is of my friend and class mate in DCE, Tejbir:
This guy is one of the sharpest brain with a chaste attitude towards studies which expectedly places him within the top very few of the class. He quit Civil in IIT Delhi to opt for DCE, Electronics. Today he has an awesome placement of 10 lacs in his hand with NVIDIA with an enviable career. Would he have had a better career in an IIT. When I popped up the question he had a long story to tell. He said this very question had haunted him for the last three years. He had often regretted having left IIT. When he was kicked in the written exam phase for first 4 companies he applied for, he told me, he lost his marbles. He asid he really wished he could go back in time. But then came NVIDIA. They gave him a job and a nice one at that. And now he says he is relaxed. He loves himself for gone for eletronics. He has no regrets.
The fourth case is my own:
Here are the facts:
As is known to any one with whom I have exchanged any more that 2 sentences in last three years, I opted for option 1 among the three I listed. Not going in to the train of thoughts which forced this decision, I express what I could have been had I opted for option 2 or 3:
The Bong guy's case left bells ringing in my head. It easily could have been my case if only I wanted. But then there is case 2 of the XYZ guy which also VERY easily could have been my case. But then I could have wasted a year and worked with diligence like Tejbir and excel at one of the IITs. All three cases could have been a possibility. But as I often say, when its about yourself, you know in some part of your brain that you will get through.
Only time can tell us ki Koun Banega Crorepati jaldi?
Edit:
An epilogue:
Tejbir's comment:
First case is the Bong guy:
The Bong guy is 26 something.He got an above 3500 rank in IIT and took up geology or something in Indian School of Mining, Dhanbad. Today he earns 20lacs per annum and travels business class. Which is some success, trust me.
Second case is of the XYZ guy, whose name I have no intention of sharing:
He went to one of the best IITs with one of the sharpest brain on the planet, but failed miserably. When I last heard of him, he was struggling with a CGPA of 4, which is pathetic, and was clearing his previous back logs all through out the summer vacation.
But some how when it comes to IITians, you know that a gorgeous career beckons him any way.
The third case is of my friend and class mate in DCE, Tejbir:
This guy is one of the sharpest brain with a chaste attitude towards studies which expectedly places him within the top very few of the class. He quit Civil in IIT Delhi to opt for DCE, Electronics. Today he has an awesome placement of 10 lacs in his hand with NVIDIA with an enviable career. Would he have had a better career in an IIT. When I popped up the question he had a long story to tell. He said this very question had haunted him for the last three years. He had often regretted having left IIT. When he was kicked in the written exam phase for first 4 companies he applied for, he told me, he lost his marbles. He asid he really wished he could go back in time. But then came NVIDIA. They gave him a job and a nice one at that. And now he says he is relaxed. He loves himself for gone for eletronics. He has no regrets.
The fourth case is my own:
Here are the facts:
- 2004:IIT:rank 3830,which means one of the worst steams in one of the most inferior IITs
- 2004:DCE:rank240,which means every option available
- 2005:IIT rank 2321, which means many options available but wasting a year already spent in DCE.
As is known to any one with whom I have exchanged any more that 2 sentences in last three years, I opted for option 1 among the three I listed. Not going in to the train of thoughts which forced this decision, I express what I could have been had I opted for option 2 or 3:
The Bong guy's case left bells ringing in my head. It easily could have been my case if only I wanted. But then there is case 2 of the XYZ guy which also VERY easily could have been my case. But then I could have wasted a year and worked with diligence like Tejbir and excel at one of the IITs. All three cases could have been a possibility. But as I often say, when its about yourself, you know in some part of your brain that you will get through.
Only time can tell us ki Koun Banega Crorepati jaldi?
Edit:
An epilogue:
Tejbir's comment:
Monday, September 3, 2007
What if?
What if the entropy of the world reached an absolute zero?
What if everybody had land equal to inhabitable land available divided by the population of the world?
What if every one of us had exactly the same house of exactly the same size?
What if we had to decide a profession at the age of 24 and tell the government and
work on it for the rest of our lives?
What if science and research reached saturation because of man's emotional saturation from technology?
What if every couple made love only on Thursdays and Wednesdays?
What if the only motivation for competence in the world was having some time free with family inside your house?
What if there was perfect communication between every human being?
What if every house got food and stuff by courier everyday in a fixed amount and variety?
What if every one was a perfect citizen with equal level of education?
What if every couple on the planet had two kids?
What if no man fell ill?
What if everybody HAD to die at the age of 53?
What if in his attempt of making a robot like a man, man became a robot?
Would that be better?
What if everybody had land equal to inhabitable land available divided by the population of the world?
What if every one of us had exactly the same house of exactly the same size?
What if we had to decide a profession at the age of 24 and tell the government and
work on it for the rest of our lives?
What if science and research reached saturation because of man's emotional saturation from technology?
What if every couple made love only on Thursdays and Wednesdays?
What if the only motivation for competence in the world was having some time free with family inside your house?
What if there was perfect communication between every human being?
What if every house got food and stuff by courier everyday in a fixed amount and variety?
What if every one was a perfect citizen with equal level of education?
What if every couple on the planet had two kids?
What if no man fell ill?
What if everybody HAD to die at the age of 53?
What if in his attempt of making a robot like a man, man became a robot?
Would that be better?
the C gang
Although its not been too long since I was a fresher, and most of my hair is still black, I would still like you to read this blog visualising a mature guy recollecting one of his amusing experiences of yesteryears.
Scene1:
date:17th January,2005
location:The sets of Jeena Isi Ka Naam hai. SRK is the guest and Farookh Sheikh the host. Three men in their late thirties enter the sets.
Farookh Sheikh: I invite your college friends.
Man1: We are friends from Hans Raj College.
Shah Rukh Khan: blah blah blah.
Man2: blah blah blah.
Shah Rukh Khan: In college,we had a gang.We called it the 'C gang'.We got ultra inspired when we watched John Trovolta's 'GREASE'.We had jackets and I cards with 'C Gang' printed on them. We stole Maruti 800's emblem and cut zeros into two to create the 'C' of this Brouch we used to wear everyday. And we used to steal these Maruti emblems from my locality's cars. I hope my neighbours have forgiven me by now.
Everyone: *grins*
Scene2:
date:18th January,2005
Four INNOCENT guys are sitting in BM Hostel and farting (chatting) the way they had been doing since day 1 of college.
Sachin:Our class is a bunch of losers.
Rashul:Yeah,we people are the only one worth talking to.
Yogesh:Its loaded with ghissus(geeks).
Varun:yeah.I would have choked had you guys not been around.
Sachin:I know. We are the coolest bunch to have taken admission in DCE.
Yogesh:Yup.People need to realise that there is life beyond all this.
Sachin:I was watching Jeena Isi Ka Naam Hai last night on ZEE TV.
Rashul:No wonder you flunked in Manufacturing Processes in first sem.
Sachin:SRK had this gang of four guys who would boss around teaching every one a lesson.
Varun:You mean we also form a gang?
Rashul:Sounds cool.
Sachin:I am game.
Yogesh:Done then.
Rashul:Think of a name.
Varun: We cant take up something like 'cool guys' or 'the studds' or something.That will be *beep*
Rashul:True.
Sachin:Then what?
Scene3:
Four of them walking from the hostel to the classes crossing te library in the order:
Yogesh(left most),Rashul,Varun,Sachin(right most).
Sachin:Think of something brothers.Think of a nice name.
Yogesh:But what?
Sachin:Lets use the first alphabets of the names of all of us.
Chorus: Y R V S?
Chorus:Man thats so cool.
Varun:Why aRe we S?
Sachin:Yeah.
Rashul: Man thats cool.
Varun:Now we just have to think of an adjective starting with 'S'.
Sachin:Theres a whole range of them available. Suave, sophisticated, sexy, sexed up,seductive , sultry, simian. And the list can go on and on.
Scene4:
Sitting in the lawns next to Electrical Block Canteen:
Varun:Man we got to have T shirts printed with YRVS.
Yogesh:Make sure you dont blow the trumpet of the gang thing.Things with blown trumpet never work out.
Rashul:It happened with me in school.
Sachin:You know we could just leave it to people what S means.We could use 'Y R V S...'
Yogesh:And people could just use an adjective out of their free will.Man thats cool.
Scene5:
Sitting in BM Hostel again after having sweated in the fitting workshop:
Sachin:People I have an idea.
Others:(stare)
Sachin:You know the alphabets Y R V S could be shuffled in the form VYRS and we could pronounce it as 'virus'.We will call ourselves the viruses.Beat that?
Everyone:That is so so so cool.Done then.
Scene6:
date:21st January.
The T5 canteen.A boisterous bunch is sitting on a table. And I, Anshul and Durjoy are sitting on the next table.
Durjoy:You guys are doing well.VYRS seem the perfect gang.I wish I was a part of it.
Anshul:Look at the next table.The heard looks like a happy family.But the thing to notice is that even though Ashish(name changed) is from Computers Engineering, he is still in company of Mechanical Engineering guys.Why cant we Mechanical Engineering guys join 'VYRS: the Electronics Engineering guys'?
Sachin:Well, I will have to talk.
Anshul:They are sweet guys.They will accept us with open arms.
Sachin:They would have.But there are strings attached.You have to think of a decent name.How would D of Durjoy and A of Anshul fit in in VYRS?
Durjoy:Dont tell me it means so much to you guys.
Sachin:(smiles)
Scene7:
All six are together.Namely:Durjoy,Varun, Anshul,Yogesh,Rashul,Sachin
Anshul:Well we guys plan to join the gang.
Yogesh:Are you suggesting we call ourselves VYRSDA?That aint cool enough brother.
Sachin:That is like a Tamil fellow addressing VYRS.
Anshul/Durjoy(I cant recall who suggested):I have two ideas.We can either take up DA VYRS or D VYRAS.In that case, we can call ourselves 'the virus'.
Sachin:Now that is definitely cool enough.
Everyone:Deal.This calls for celebration.
Anshul:So the name is D VYRAS
Epilogue:We dirtied many many benches in college engraving/writing D VYRAS on them.The T shirt thing dint happen and thankfully so.It has been two and a half years since we six have been around.Excepting one major tiff, we are still together. College life would have been different without these guys.
Scene1:
date:17th January,2005
location:The sets of Jeena Isi Ka Naam hai. SRK is the guest and Farookh Sheikh the host. Three men in their late thirties enter the sets.
Farookh Sheikh: I invite your college friends.
Man1: We are friends from Hans Raj College.
Shah Rukh Khan: blah blah blah.
Man2: blah blah blah.
Shah Rukh Khan: In college,we had a gang.We called it the 'C gang'.We got ultra inspired when we watched John Trovolta's 'GREASE'.We had jackets and I cards with 'C Gang' printed on them. We stole Maruti 800's emblem and cut zeros into two to create the 'C' of this Brouch we used to wear everyday. And we used to steal these Maruti emblems from my locality's cars. I hope my neighbours have forgiven me by now.
Everyone: *grins*
Scene2:
date:18th January,2005
Four INNOCENT guys are sitting in BM Hostel and farting (chatting) the way they had been doing since day 1 of college.
Sachin:Our class is a bunch of losers.
Rashul:Yeah,we people are the only one worth talking to.
Yogesh:Its loaded with ghissus(geeks).
Varun:yeah.I would have choked had you guys not been around.
Sachin:I know. We are the coolest bunch to have taken admission in DCE.
Yogesh:Yup.People need to realise that there is life beyond all this.
Sachin:I was watching Jeena Isi Ka Naam Hai last night on ZEE TV.
Rashul:No wonder you flunked in Manufacturing Processes in first sem.
Sachin:SRK had this gang of four guys who would boss around teaching every one a lesson.
Varun:You mean we also form a gang?
Rashul:Sounds cool.
Sachin:I am game.
Yogesh:Done then.
Rashul:Think of a name.
Varun: We cant take up something like 'cool guys' or 'the studds' or something.That will be *beep*
Rashul:True.
Sachin:Then what?
Scene3:
Four of them walking from the hostel to the classes crossing te library in the order:
Yogesh(left most),Rashul,Varun,Sachin(right most).
Sachin:Think of something brothers.Think of a nice name.
Yogesh:But what?
Sachin:Lets use the first alphabets of the names of all of us.
Chorus: Y R V S?
Chorus:Man thats so cool.
Varun:Why aRe we S?
Sachin:Yeah.
Rashul: Man thats
Varun:Now we just have to think of an adjective starting with 'S'.
Sachin:Theres a whole range of them available. Suave, sophisticated, sexy, sexed up,seductive , sultry, simian. And the list can go on and on.
Scene4:
Sitting in the lawns next to Electrical Block Canteen:
Varun:Man we got to have T shirts printed with YRVS.
Yogesh:Make sure you dont blow the trumpet of the gang thing.Things with blown trumpet never work out.
Rashul:It happened with me in school.
Sachin:You know we could just leave it to people what S means.We could use 'Y R V S...'
Yogesh:And people could just use an adjective out of their free will.Man thats cool.
Scene5:
Sitting in BM Hostel again after having sweated in the fitting workshop:
Sachin:People I have an idea.
Others:(stare)
Sachin:You know the alphabets Y R V S could be shuffled in the form VYRS and we could pronounce it as 'virus'.We will call ourselves the viruses.Beat that?
Everyone:That is so so so cool.Done then.
Scene6:
date:21st January.
The T5 canteen.A boisterous bunch is sitting on a table. And I, Anshul and Durjoy are sitting on the next table.
Durjoy:You guys are doing well.VYRS seem the perfect gang.I wish I was a part of it.
Anshul:Look at the next table.The heard looks like a happy family.But the thing to notice is that even though Ashish(name changed) is from Computers Engineering, he is still in company of Mechanical Engineering guys.Why cant we Mechanical Engineering guys join 'VYRS: the Electronics Engineering guys'?
Sachin:Well, I will have to talk.
Anshul:They are sweet guys.They will accept us with open arms.
Sachin:They would have.But there are strings attached.You have to think of a decent name.How would D of Durjoy and A of Anshul fit in in VYRS?
Durjoy:Dont tell me it means so much to you guys.
Sachin:(smiles)
Scene7:
All six are together.Namely:Durjoy,Varun, Anshul,Yogesh,Rashul,Sachin
Anshul:Well we guys plan to join the gang.
Yogesh:Are you suggesting we call ourselves VYRSDA?That aint cool enough brother.
Sachin:That is like a Tamil fellow addressing VYRS.
Anshul/Durjoy(I cant recall who suggested):I have two ideas.We can either take up DA VYRS or D VYRAS.In that case, we can call ourselves 'the virus'.
Sachin:Now that is definitely cool enough.
Everyone:Deal.This calls for celebration.
Anshul:So the name is D VYRAS
Epilogue:We dirtied many many benches in college engraving/writing D VYRAS on them.The T shirt thing dint happen and thankfully so.It has been two and a half years since we six have been around.Excepting one major tiff, we are still together. College life would have been different without these guys.
I am Kewl
First things first..
If you are reading this you are a loser.
Not because you have done something which gives you the tag.
Just because you have not done something which I have.
In my sixteenth post,
251 days after I started blogging,
having spent precious hours in Paris,
& a few of the 'must-find-something-to-do' hours in Delhi,
having typed in frustration and boredom,
without having spent a single minute on decoration of this blog,
without having blog rolled any one,
without having been tagged,
without having left even a single word of false praise on any one's blog,
I proudly announce the achievement of
having reached the milestone of ten VISIBLE readers of this blog.
Did any one just swear?
Accept the fact buddy...
some men are gifted!
My GTalk has been flooded with comments.
I sincerely thank Neha,Wacko,Seth,Narayanan,Pheonix,Isha,Durjoy,Lazy,
Saloni,Garima for their invaluable comments.
Go on reading my blog friends..
Discuss it..
Advertise it..
Print it on your notice board..
Change your name on Orkut to sachinopedia.blogspot.com ...
Make me famous..
Make me rich..
And the day this happens,
I might say a Thank You.
If you are reading this you are a loser.
Not because you have done something which gives you the tag.
Just because you have not done something which I have.
In my sixteenth post,
251 days after I started blogging,
having spent precious hours in Paris,
& a few of the 'must-find-something-to-do' hours in Delhi,
having typed in frustration and boredom,
without having spent a single minute on decoration of this blog,
without having blog rolled any one,
without having been tagged,
without having left even a single word of false praise on any one's blog,
I proudly announce the achievement of
having reached the milestone of ten VISIBLE readers of this blog.
Did any one just swear?
Accept the fact buddy...
some men are gifted!
My GTalk has been flooded with comments.
I sincerely thank Neha,Wacko,Seth,Narayanan,Pheonix,Isha,Durjoy,Lazy,
Saloni,Garima for their invaluable comments.
Go on reading my blog friends..
Discuss it..
Advertise it..
Print it on your notice board..
Change your name on Orkut to sachinopedia.blogspot.com ...
Make me famous..
Make me rich..
And the day this happens,
I might say a Thank You.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
How to: NOT get a job.
Well I have always been a jack of all trades and it has been a fact that I have deeply regretted. Among other things, it deprived me of being able to write a 'HOW TO' on my blog because I never really acquired enough skill in any field to be worthy of guiding any one. But this recent discovery of my latent talent has been an unpleasent surprise. The opportunist that I am, I will seal the moment
to pen down my first how to. AlthoughI am an Engineer and the experiments were conducted in that field, I have tried my best to keep them as general as possible.So dear juniors, seniors and classmates, here it goes:
On a more serious note, I confess that I have followed each and every point of this post with great diligence which I deeply regret. I am sure this will not help any juniors because I believe that my mistakes were exclusive to me which may not be repeated in near future.
to pen down my first how to. AlthoughI am an Engineer and the experiments were conducted in that field, I have tried my best to keep them as general as possible.So dear juniors, seniors and classmates, here it goes:
- dont just tell yourself, but also believe from within that you are superior to every guy you meet everyday, be it in the canteeen, laboratory or toilet. His long nose, blue eyes, low IQ, unhandsome bike, anything will do. But he is INFERIOR to you and thats the only fact in the universe.
- never dare to score more than 60% in any sem even if others are doing a lot better.Those guys are idiots and your time is meant for better things.You did well in your tenth/ninth/sixth class without working hard and why should engineering be any different?
- But these IT companies are so idiotic that even then they might not leave you. No seriously, one of my friends did get trapped cos he had not taken the simple precaution I am about to disclose.Dont ever under estimate the importance of this point. If you have been academicaly decent then this might take a lot of effort. But remember:If I can do it, then so can you!All you have to do is to get a supplie.And the rest of the stuff will fall in to place on its own. Almost none of the companies will let you apply and even if some company does, it will be a cake walk to get kicked in the interview.
- Never prepare for the non technical aspect of an intereview.Hell you are a studd and it can never take you more than a second to think of one of your weakness, strength and stuff.You have handled many such situations and its stupid to work on such things.
- Even then if you get doubtful about not being placed, then go to Paris for a summer internhip as the last nail in the coffin.This will put a fullstop to your chances and you can have a peaceful night sleep.You would have unofficialy made yourself ineligible for the small companies who would naturally find you too ambitious for their firm and kick you for that reason.
- But trust me.You can never be too sure when it somes to IT companies.They can take you when you consider yourself dead and rotten.In that scenario,you can use any of the following brahamastra:
- on any mention of your percentage, tell them that the reason of your low percentage is your socialising habits rather than focus on some other aspect of your career.This is fool proof.
- ask them if you will have to sign a bond and frown on whatever he/she says.
- sleep in the company presentation.
On a more serious note, I confess that I have followed each and every point of this post with great diligence which I deeply regret. I am sure this will not help any juniors because I believe that my mistakes were exclusive to me which may not be repeated in near future.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
a day in the sun..
Being thirteen posts old I have blogged in various moods, ranging from joy, sadness, lust, disgust, nostalgia, depression, helplessness, hope, stupid etc etc etc. I write this one feeling kinda embarassed.
Not everyone can claim to have a 15 year friendship at the age of 21. Ours has been one such case. On one fine lazy aimless Sunday afternoon on being asked for a favor which sounded more like a treat, there was no question of turning him down. His work has kept him busy of late and the idea of spending a day with him added
joy to spirits which were high any ways.
He wanted to practise photography with me and I was suppose to be the subject(I am desperate to avoid the word model as I am nowhere close to it). So loaded with a camera and 2 t-shirts we headed for a lonely place I had always fancied as picturesque. You gotta meet me to realize how good a job that chap did. I am putting some of best pics HERE, considering the fact that I have not succedeed in making even 10 people read my blog in 3 months, I am damn sure its impossible for me to get an audience for a flickr account.
pic1:
photographer:Sumit
location :some remote place in the suburbs of Delhi
concept :me
comments :I had always fancied the place as a gorgeous back drop. It dint let me down.
pic2:
photographer:Sumit
location :some wreckage close to Rithala metro station, Rohini.
concept :Sumit
comments :This pic clearly explains the difference between a veteran and a hobbyist.When he first said he wanted to use bricks, I wasnt convinced. Now I am.
pic3:
photographer:sumit
location :some place connecting Rohini with CP, in Karol Bagh.
concept :me
comments :Sumit is absolutely obsessed with pigeons. On our way to CP, he literally jumped when he saw this heard of pigeons.
pic4:
photographer :sumit
location :cp,obviously
concept :sumit
comments :I believe Sumit had conceptualised this pic a lot earlier than it actually happened and was probably the reason that he took me 25 kilometres to CP. To get this pic. He tells me, its his personal favorite.
pic5:
photographer:Sumit
location :some wreckage close to Rithala Metro Station, Rohini.
concept :Sumit
comments :I just love the accuracy of the expression I got in this pic. It seems just perfect. You can imagine the degree of love I have for this pic from the fact that its the display pic of my ORKUT account!
pic6:
photographer:sumit
location : some wreckage close to Rithala Metro Station.
concept :me
comments : this pic is not here for pure aesthetic reasons. The major reason is that this is one pic for which I can claim to have contributed majorly.In fact, I will go to the extent of saying that except the click, this is a pic taken by me :-)
Not everyone can claim to have a 15 year friendship at the age of 21. Ours has been one such case. On one fine lazy aimless Sunday afternoon on being asked for a favor which sounded more like a treat, there was no question of turning him down. His work has kept him busy of late and the idea of spending a day with him added
joy to spirits which were high any ways.
He wanted to practise photography with me and I was suppose to be the subject(I am desperate to avoid the word model as I am nowhere close to it). So loaded with a camera and 2 t-shirts we headed for a lonely place I had always fancied as picturesque. You gotta meet me to realize how good a job that chap did. I am putting some of best pics HERE, considering the fact that I have not succedeed in making even 10 people read my blog in 3 months, I am damn sure its impossible for me to get an audience for a flickr account.
pic1:
photographer:Sumit
location :some remote place in the suburbs of Delhi
concept :me
comments :I had always fancied the place as a gorgeous back drop. It dint let me down.
pic2:
photographer:Sumit
location :some wreckage close to Rithala metro station, Rohini.
concept :Sumit
comments :This pic clearly explains the difference between a veteran and a hobbyist.When he first said he wanted to use bricks, I wasnt convinced. Now I am.
pic3:
photographer:sumit
location :some place connecting Rohini with CP, in Karol Bagh.
concept :me
comments :Sumit is absolutely obsessed with pigeons. On our way to CP, he literally jumped when he saw this heard of pigeons.
pic4:
photographer :sumit
location :cp,obviously
concept :sumit
comments :I believe Sumit had conceptualised this pic a lot earlier than it actually happened and was probably the reason that he took me 25 kilometres to CP. To get this pic. He tells me, its his personal favorite.
pic5:
photographer:Sumit
location :some wreckage close to Rithala Metro Station, Rohini.
concept :Sumit
comments :I just love the accuracy of the expression I got in this pic. It seems just perfect. You can imagine the degree of love I have for this pic from the fact that its the display pic of my ORKUT account!
pic6:
photographer:sumit
location : some wreckage close to Rithala Metro Station.
concept :me
comments : this pic is not here for pure aesthetic reasons. The major reason is that this is one pic for which I can claim to have contributed majorly.In fact, I will go to the extent of saying that except the click, this is a pic taken by me :-)
Monday, August 13, 2007
Paris air Moscow air Delhi
This is probably the highest blog ever.Not because it discusses Mahatma Gandhi's sacrifice of milk and pulses but because it is being written in an air flight(which i am copying from my notebook to my blog).
Here it goes:
*Its a gorgeous sight when a flight dives and rises above a thick cloud cover.Its like a transition from a thick white bed sheet of highly wrinkled bed sheet or the froth on a vanilla shake to a kid's game of small huts and cars.
*I hate red hair and Russians arent being sweet to me.Possibly because whoever I meet does not English.And the two dislikes have got combined to make me believe that all red heads are Russians.
*Hindi to my ears is a bit strange.Some Indians in the flight are speaking Hindi and my reaction was : ignored,ignored,ignored,surprised,listening,disgusted,ignored,ignored,ignored.The disgust part was because of the content of their conversation which was 'kissing in public in India'.
*But then they talked about the custom formailties, after listening to which I have finally become eligible for a job as a travel agent as I know everything there is to know in the profession now.
*People tell me how they said good bye to some city. How elated they were on being home or sad on leaving a more developed city. I, on the contrary, was emotionless. Does it mean I have become one of those unruffled beings neither amazed nor bedazzled by any thing?
Amen!
*I hate my air hostesses and I will take the extreme step of affecting the annual turn over of the flight by criticising them in my blog. The flight's name is Aeroflot and the service is POOR. I know the company might close down because of this post but it serves them right.
*Spoiler warning for this point:story of 'the inscrutable americans' referred.
-Gopal in 'The Inscrutable Americans' was looking for sex through out his stay in the US. I was looking for lasagna. He got it in his flight back to India.I got it in my ten hour transit in the Moscow airport.A book like finish for my trip.
*People are already not responding to my smiles in a very non French way.Its funny actually to think that smiling pointlessly to a chick would actually be considered indecent flirting now.Indians seem cold.They dont pretend to like me.Fake-ness is so much better.
*Seth had said India me air rakhte hi sab maa behen ki fir se chaloo ho jayegi.I hope it takes a few days. God help.
*I had come with three things in my hand bag.A pen,a note book and a copy of Harry Potter and the deathly hallows. And I am as far from knowing whether Potter will live as I was at the beginning of the flight.
*Like at many points of my trip I am once again wondering if I would cry. Havent had the need till now if you ignore the onions I have cut.I believe the answer will still be NO.
*My last words on foreign soil.Bye Russia.Bye France.India, the land of pani puri, here I come. And then I will have a hair cut and I will wear my watch I bought from Champs Ellysees.
*I asked Mr Alexander Kontratirv and Mrs Olga Kontratirv, my neighbours in the flight, to do a Delhi v/s Islamabad.
Well,Islamabed won.He thinks its a modern city developed keeping in mind a 'high tech capital city'.
*I have formed a firm opinion of people from different counties from my intercourse with them.But it was strictly based on the people I met and has no meaning in the broader picture:
French: fake and materialistic.
Russian: scared,terrified and petrified of English
Arabs: female:gorgeous.By far the most beautiful for Indian taste.
male:road side romeos to look at.closest to the kind of boys I would loveto hang out with
Spanish: I met three people from Spain in three different cities(Delhi,Moscow,Kanyakumari).And all three were going to/in India for social work.I can never get over the thought that Spanish are the best at heart because of my interaction with them.
Malaysian:I met a Malaysian at the Moscow airport who showed me some card tricks and drunk mannerisms. Neither of which impressed me though.
*Epilogue:
My dad and mom received me drenched in tears and home coming was one of the top three moments of my life.
Love you mom and dad.
Here it goes:
*Its a gorgeous sight when a flight dives and rises above a thick cloud cover.Its like a transition from a thick white bed sheet of highly wrinkled bed sheet or the froth on a vanilla shake to a kid's game of small huts and cars.
*I hate red hair and Russians arent being sweet to me.Possibly because whoever I meet does not English.And the two dislikes have got combined to make me believe that all red heads are Russians.
*Hindi to my ears is a bit strange.Some Indians in the flight are speaking Hindi and my reaction was : ignored,ignored,ignored,surprised,listening,disgusted,ignored,ignored,ignored.The disgust part was because of the content of their conversation which was 'kissing in public in India'.
*But then they talked about the custom formailties, after listening to which I have finally become eligible for a job as a travel agent as I know everything there is to know in the profession now.
*People tell me how they said good bye to some city. How elated they were on being home or sad on leaving a more developed city. I, on the contrary, was emotionless. Does it mean I have become one of those unruffled beings neither amazed nor bedazzled by any thing?
Amen!
*I hate my air hostesses and I will take the extreme step of affecting the annual turn over of the flight by criticising them in my blog. The flight's name is Aeroflot and the service is POOR. I know the company might close down because of this post but it serves them right.
*Spoiler warning for this point:story of 'the inscrutable americans' referred.
-Gopal in 'The Inscrutable Americans' was looking for sex through out his stay in the US. I was looking for lasagna. He got it in his flight back to India.I got it in my ten hour transit in the Moscow airport.A book like finish for my trip.
*People are already not responding to my smiles in a very non French way.Its funny actually to think that smiling pointlessly to a chick would actually be considered indecent flirting now.Indians seem cold.They dont pretend to like me.Fake-ness is so much better.
*Seth had said India me air rakhte hi sab maa behen ki fir se chaloo ho jayegi.I hope it takes a few days. God help.
*I had come with three things in my hand bag.A pen,a note book and a copy of Harry Potter and the deathly hallows. And I am as far from knowing whether Potter will live as I was at the beginning of the flight.
*Like at many points of my trip I am once again wondering if I would cry. Havent had the need till now if you ignore the onions I have cut.I believe the answer will still be NO.
*My last words on foreign soil.Bye Russia.Bye France.India, the land of pani puri, here I come. And then I will have a hair cut and I will wear my watch I bought from Champs Ellysees.
*I asked Mr Alexander Kontratirv and Mrs Olga Kontratirv, my neighbours in the flight, to do a Delhi v/s Islamabad.
Well,Islamabed won.He thinks its a modern city developed keeping in mind a 'high tech capital city'.
*I have formed a firm opinion of people from different counties from my intercourse with them.But it was strictly based on the people I met and has no meaning in the broader picture:
French: fake and materialistic.
Russian: scared,terrified and petrified of English
Arabs: female:gorgeous.By far the most beautiful for Indian taste.
male:road side romeos to look at.closest to the kind of boys I would loveto hang out with
Spanish: I met three people from Spain in three different cities(Delhi,Moscow,Kanyakumari).And all three were going to/in India for social work.I can never get over the thought that Spanish are the best at heart because of my interaction with them.
Malaysian:I met a Malaysian at the Moscow airport who showed me some card tricks and drunk mannerisms. Neither of which impressed me though.
*Epilogue:
My dad and mom received me drenched in tears and home coming was one of the top three moments of my life.
Love you mom and dad.
job v/s chick
Well although i havent had the chance to hit on a gal for a long long time now, I have been a keen observer of the art. At least in theory, I might be as good as any one.
Thoughts can take strange turns at times and today as I was being kicked out by another company, the thought struck me that how similar are the arts of getting a job and chick-ery.
For a job, the procedure always start with an eligibility criteria and a written exam cut off. The company wants the people above a certain level. Even if you have it in you to take the company to the fortune 500, it doesnt count if you dont satisfy that. Then there are arbitrary rounds like GD , Situation Reaction Test and stuff.And then theres the interview.
The eligibility comparison is pretty direct in case of girls. If you arent above a certain level in terms of looks and smartness, then nothing counts. Your chapter is closed and you are wasting your time. Then if you do clear this stage, then you have to have a decent performance in the friendship phase which is comparable to the GDs and stuff.And then the interview is like THE PROPOSAL.Its a make or break situation characterised by nervousness and loss of discretion between the right and the wrong.
Moreover,
although you think you know everything there is to know about both, strange results are invariably thrown up.
people who you always rated inferior turn out to be doing a lot better.
you never have a chance of a feedback in either, although I did manage a feedback from the Wipro panel which rejected me but I am sure his response would have been the same, had I not appeared for the interview at all and asked him why I was rejected.He dint remember a thing and gave an answer he had memorized as a kid.
P.S. Save the sorry messages for me still being unplaced.I am making a list of companies who are rejecting me which I will put on the first page of my autobiography and write:
"all these companies could have been in the Fortune 500 in place of my present company XYZ if only they had the common sense to look beyond my undergraduate percentage"
Thoughts can take strange turns at times and today as I was being kicked out by another company, the thought struck me that how similar are the arts of getting a job and chick-ery.
For a job, the procedure always start with an eligibility criteria and a written exam cut off. The company wants the people above a certain level. Even if you have it in you to take the company to the fortune 500, it doesnt count if you dont satisfy that. Then there are arbitrary rounds like GD , Situation Reaction Test and stuff.And then theres the interview.
The eligibility comparison is pretty direct in case of girls. If you arent above a certain level in terms of looks and smartness, then nothing counts. Your chapter is closed and you are wasting your time. Then if you do clear this stage, then you have to have a decent performance in the friendship phase which is comparable to the GDs and stuff.And then the interview is like THE PROPOSAL.Its a make or break situation characterised by nervousness and loss of discretion between the right and the wrong.
Moreover,
although you think you know everything there is to know about both, strange results are invariably thrown up.
people who you always rated inferior turn out to be doing a lot better.
you never have a chance of a feedback in either, although I did manage a feedback from the Wipro panel which rejected me but I am sure his response would have been the same, had I not appeared for the interview at all and asked him why I was rejected.He dint remember a thing and gave an answer he had memorized as a kid.
P.S. Save the sorry messages for me still being unplaced.I am making a list of companies who are rejecting me which I will put on the first page of my autobiography and write:
"all these companies could have been in the Fortune 500 in place of my present company XYZ if only they had the common sense to look beyond my undergraduate percentage"
Saturday, August 4, 2007
H Cl
Finally i did get to read the holy words.Two companies had come and gone and I was still to make a debut on the 'Eligibile' list.But then my resume manager finally flashed the words in green 'YOU ARE ELIGIBLE'.I was elated. 3 years of psuedo engineering was narrowed down to this.Many of my school friends who had done no where close to what I had in school, had been better placed.
The side effects of the Paris internship were beginning to show.Inflated expectation,punctured capability.I am tempted to indulge in self criticism here but now that at least four people have started reading my blog,I am cautious.Sanket said once that this Paris internship is an investment in value addition of one self.Karthiik said that foreign internships mean no job because the small companies find you too ambitious and I was not eligible for the BIGGIES with a meagre 59%.How Anshul and I had once discussed with freshness of being freshers that we were bound to be better than the reserved category people and people who had dropped a few years to come to DCE.Which meant we were bound to have a 'being in the top few' stay at DCE.Anshul didnt exactly manage that.I did manage to achieve exactly the opposite.
And now here I was being elated on being eligible for a company for which I wouldnt bat an eyelid a few years ago.The company is HCL and the package is embarassing.But then, at some point reality strikes and the last week has been exactly that.From the highs of being in the city of love to the lows being rejected by companies which I had rejected the day I stepped in DCE.
Its a common discussion in DCE to bakchodify (hindi word) on whether to go to IT or any other of the zillion fields to do a job.HCL seemed to me my last shot at IT.Their presentation would have been an anticlimax had I not attended the Infosys presentation and known that presentations are anti-climaxes.The big fat ugly guy explained why HCL was the best option when his whole persona forced me to think otherwise.
Then there was the written exam.Which was an anti-er-climax.Hell they want me to find 1200/5000!But I did fall short of time which does explain there point to some extent.A long wait and then I was told I have got through the written exam.Then it was the interview.Which started with the question that has haunted me for years.WHY SUCH A DROP FROM 85 IN TWELTH TO 59 IN UNDER GRADUATION?I still didnt have an answer and took the easy way out.I told the truth which I now think I shouldnt have.And then the usual stuff like arrays and bond and location and all.She talked as if I was already a part of the company.
I was pretty confident then only that I am through.I came back home as I dint see a point in waiting there and called up DPS(Dhirendra Pratap Singh) if I was through.NO said DPS.With my Bro Bhabhi listening to every word that I utter, I tried to sound normal and cover up.I went downstairs and told my dad that I was still unplaced.For once I did a manly thing by telling him.Been too big a coward to tell them that Infy and TCS have come and gone to my college.Been tired of lying.I hope this blog never gets popular.I am happy in my readership of four.At least I can say whatever I want.I was beginning to plan the rest of the month even before I came to know the result.A company which took 120 people from NSIT and 65 people from DCE just rejected me.What can be SO bad?Whats wrong with my profile?Does my profile say I am too ambitious by DCE(or HCL) standards?Or is this a cheap bit of self consolation I am indulging in?I am not eligible for any companies till 21st August.
I have been told that I could do it in E Value Serve.But I could have done so much but there cant be a bigger NOTHING.I have never felt a deeper love for research than I feel today.But then my parents dont want me to go to the US.It is like that Harry Potter book where each and every path is made to look absolutely shut.But he does get out of it.I am yet to negate even a single career option and I dont see that happening in near future either.CAT ,GRE,non tech job,tech job and what not.I am open to everything.But when will something be open for me.
I have never felt more short of someone of equal intellect to discuss than today.Veni is in a bus and least willing to recieve a call on roaming and rightly so.Garima is in train and any ways I wonder if she has the patience to understand such a complex situation.Saloni lacks IQ.And all the guys lack the willingness.Moreover,being vella sucks.But then I am not suppose to be vella.I am suppose to be studying for my placements.But I am always vella when I am not researching.Cos of this fucking(yes,I do abuse) rejection I wont go looking for a project at least for a few weeks.Or do I damn the placements?Wish you were here Seth,to differentiate between the right, the self consolation and the unaffordable self esteem.
The side effects of the Paris internship were beginning to show.Inflated expectation,punctured capability.I am tempted to indulge in self criticism here but now that at least four people have started reading my blog,I am cautious.Sanket said once that this Paris internship is an investment in value addition of one self.Karthiik said that foreign internships mean no job because the small companies find you too ambitious and I was not eligible for the BIGGIES with a meagre 59%.How Anshul and I had once discussed with freshness of being freshers that we were bound to be better than the reserved category people and people who had dropped a few years to come to DCE.Which meant we were bound to have a 'being in the top few' stay at DCE.Anshul didnt exactly manage that.I did manage to achieve exactly the opposite.
And now here I was being elated on being eligible for a company for which I wouldnt bat an eyelid a few years ago.The company is HCL and the package is embarassing.But then, at some point reality strikes and the last week has been exactly that.From the highs of being in the city of love to the lows being rejected by companies which I had rejected the day I stepped in DCE.
Its a common discussion in DCE to bakchodify (hindi word) on whether to go to IT or any other of the zillion fields to do a job.HCL seemed to me my last shot at IT.Their presentation would have been an anticlimax had I not attended the Infosys presentation and known that presentations are anti-climaxes.The big fat ugly guy explained why HCL was the best option when his whole persona forced me to think otherwise.
Then there was the written exam.Which was an anti-er-climax.Hell they want me to find 1200/5000!But I did fall short of time which does explain there point to some extent.A long wait and then I was told I have got through the written exam.Then it was the interview.Which started with the question that has haunted me for years.WHY SUCH A DROP FROM 85 IN TWELTH TO 59 IN UNDER GRADUATION?I still didnt have an answer and took the easy way out.I told the truth which I now think I shouldnt have.And then the usual stuff like arrays and bond and location and all.She talked as if I was already a part of the company.
I was pretty confident then only that I am through.I came back home as I dint see a point in waiting there and called up DPS(Dhirendra Pratap Singh) if I was through.NO said DPS.With my Bro Bhabhi listening to every word that I utter, I tried to sound normal and cover up.I went downstairs and told my dad that I was still unplaced.For once I did a manly thing by telling him.Been too big a coward to tell them that Infy and TCS have come and gone to my college.Been tired of lying.I hope this blog never gets popular.I am happy in my readership of four.At least I can say whatever I want.I was beginning to plan the rest of the month even before I came to know the result.A company which took 120 people from NSIT and 65 people from DCE just rejected me.What can be SO bad?Whats wrong with my profile?Does my profile say I am too ambitious by DCE(or HCL) standards?Or is this a cheap bit of self consolation I am indulging in?I am not eligible for any companies till 21st August.
I have been told that I could do it in E Value Serve.But I could have done so much but there cant be a bigger NOTHING.I have never felt a deeper love for research than I feel today.But then my parents dont want me to go to the US.It is like that Harry Potter book where each and every path is made to look absolutely shut.But he does get out of it.I am yet to negate even a single career option and I dont see that happening in near future either.CAT ,GRE,non tech job,tech job and what not.I am open to everything.But when will something be open for me.
I have never felt more short of someone of equal intellect to discuss than today.Veni is in a bus and least willing to recieve a call on roaming and rightly so.Garima is in train and any ways I wonder if she has the patience to understand such a complex situation.Saloni lacks IQ.And all the guys lack the willingness.Moreover,being vella sucks.But then I am not suppose to be vella.I am suppose to be studying for my placements.But I am always vella when I am not researching.Cos of this fucking(yes,I do abuse) rejection I wont go looking for a project at least for a few weeks.Or do I damn the placements?Wish you were here Seth,to differentiate between the right, the self consolation and the unaffordable self esteem.
Monday, July 30, 2007
for once i need a feedback...
with much pleasure I aver that finally I have a concept of a book in my mind..
the thing i like about blogging is that there are no rules and now i have achieved the feet of making people other than veni read my blog..
thanks to neha,isha and seth (if you still read my blog...)
i normally do not care about feedbacks but a book is a tedious task and a decade old yearning compels me to take advice before starting to ameliorate it..
but its tough to type until i adjust to the great indian key board..
this might take a few days..
until then..make do with this teaser preview..
the thing i like about blogging is that there are no rules and now i have achieved the feet of making people other than veni read my blog..
thanks to neha,isha and seth (if you still read my blog...)
i normally do not care about feedbacks but a book is a tedious task and a decade old yearning compels me to take advice before starting to ameliorate it..
but its tough to type until i adjust to the great indian key board..
this might take a few days..
until then..make do with this teaser preview..
Thursday, July 19, 2007
SEX!!
Now that I have caught your attention by using the most catchy topic in the world,let me apprise you what this post is actually about.Often while reading I wonder if I was to write a book then how will it be.What kind of language will I take up.What really is my style of writing.Going through the notes of my various ultra futile attempts to write a book is of no help,as all of them lack content and presentation the way my mark sheet needs hard work.The answer to my question came in the form of the book ' The Inscrutable Americans'.Anurag Mathur has written this hilarious book in a language often seen in blogs rather than books,with content with humor which seems picked up from a maskara group of boys rather than a serious piece of literature.Dont read it for its literary value cos there aint any, any way.Read it for enjoying humor which is not obliged to the formalities of writing a book.A single sitting book which is closer to a comic,to be read as a stress buster without expecting any increase in intellect after reading it.Opinions may vary ,but then,so will blogs.
Monday, July 16, 2007
the need of need...
Well,this might be my first serious post(which forced me to add comments in brackets,to Sachinize it up).There are many more to come(I hope they are).A wise man bends seeing the direction of the wind(Movie dialogue.Not mine).But my strong anti feelings to a notion I (possibly,the country for that matter) have held since birth force me change my writing style.
How often do we hear people go abroad on the look out of a better "life style"(Quotation marks always remind me of F.R.I.E.D.S episode in which Joey says he doesnt know the meaning of air quotes(Hilarious it was(Couldnt think of a better comment(too many brackets(reminds me of C)))).I wonder why.I believe I am safe enough to draw inferences from my observations in Paris.Any ways everything here is described by nothing short of superlatives.I might use the phrase developed world in the post though.
La Defense,a stretch of land Europe's highest GDP density and a marvel of modern architecture and blah and blah.Doesnt impress me any more than the buildings in Gurgaon.Just because they spread over one tenth the distant they are in Gurgaon,they look a lot more spectacular as all of them are simultaneously visible.But is it Gurgaon's fault that its big?In fact,aint it suppose to be better for people working there for conveniences like parking,traffic management and somethings I cant think of?The modern architecture overwhelms you at La Defense.But trust me,Gurgaon is not far behind.Worth mention are the Convergys,DLF and Nestle buildings in Gurgaon.On my first visit to La Defense I was half expecting to discover that some of them might be inspired.But found that Gurgaon is as original as (Anu Malik :-D) me!
Paris is almost completely devoid of skyscrapers outside La Defense.I guess it might be because of governments effort to preserve the skyline and other cities might be different.I would not comment on that.
Personally,I found Eiffel around half as gorgeous as Taj Mahal.But I cant comment on that as well as that would lead to loss in generality as Eiffel is specific to Paris.
What the hell?(read WTF?)What do I comment on?yeah found something.
I realized that this place has everything mechanized.I have to enter a code to enter my flat & university,the Parkings are unmanned and washing machines are automatic.I believe this is the most fascinating thing to any newly arrived Delhite.I was no exception.But then what the hell?Does it need an Amratya Sen(too lazy to spell check his name) to tell you that its a basic market guiding force that the retailer goes for the cheapest available option which is a mechanized machine in this population starved land.Trust me,it will not take more than a year for most things to get mechanized if the population in Delhi was to be halved.Being an Electronic Engineer myself,I realize that most machines are not complex at all and would definitely be with in most Delhite's reach.(Although I confess being an Electronic Engineer I should have known a lot more)
But one thing which really does whip you off your feet is the quality of janata(am using my lingo again,i mean 'people').The people here impress you as ultra sweet,fake bastards.But fake-ness is secondary and the bottom line is that they are very sweet if you have not read as many books on psychology as I have.If Ignorance is bliss then I am cursed(self praise->my favorite pass time)(Also,I once again had the feeling that did I just write a great line.Comment!!!)Their education is evident.Not that I find them intellectual geniuses compared to the indigenous geniuses or more stylish compared to my friends in Delhi,it is just that absolutely all of them are as educated and sophisticated as my circle in Delhi.But living in Delhi,you have to interact with strange people like an illiterate book keeper.But is that really tough?Cant you just go through the shelves and find the book you want on your own?(Am I getting despo to prove my point?May be).But I find it convenient enough to live with them.Definitely yes if it comes at the cost of living with my favorite people on the planet.It would have been a lot easier had I been a little richer.But who cares(?).I must confess I am overcome by a small desire to spend summers here to escape the summer heat but the feeling easily passes away at the sight of food(described as some warm mess created by me) on every meal.
But then there is a flip side.I wish to clear here that all my arguments are directed ONLY to people who go abroad on the look out of 'better lifestyle'.I am completely supportive of people who travel for better job opportunities,working field,job facilities,relatives,religious reasons, education and anything you can think of except lifestyle.I believe that desire is directed by being able to gain the right to flaunt having been abroad and racist in some cases.Yes,racist.
The need is T.N.R.(totally not required(source:IIT Chennai lingo))
Do think on the following lines by Rakesh Mehra(I guess) and enacted by Amir Khan in the movie Rang De Basanti:
Yaha DJ ka naam hai,DJ ki kuchh aukaat hai.Baahri duniya me koun poochhega?
P.S.now I am having an eerie feeling that did I just write a confused blog?
I read somewhere once "great effort goes into something which takes little effort to read"?!?!?
How often do we hear people go abroad on the look out of a better "life style"(Quotation marks always remind me of F.R.I.E.D.S episode in which Joey says he doesnt know the meaning of air quotes(Hilarious it was(Couldnt think of a better comment(too many brackets(reminds me of C)))).I wonder why.I believe I am safe enough to draw inferences from my observations in Paris.Any ways everything here is described by nothing short of superlatives.I might use the phrase developed world in the post though.
La Defense,a stretch of land Europe's highest GDP density and a marvel of modern architecture and blah and blah.Doesnt impress me any more than the buildings in Gurgaon.Just because they spread over one tenth the distant they are in Gurgaon,they look a lot more spectacular as all of them are simultaneously visible.But is it Gurgaon's fault that its big?In fact,aint it suppose to be better for people working there for conveniences like parking,traffic management and somethings I cant think of?The modern architecture overwhelms you at La Defense.But trust me,Gurgaon is not far behind.Worth mention are the Convergys,DLF and Nestle buildings in Gurgaon.On my first visit to La Defense I was half expecting to discover that some of them might be inspired.But found that Gurgaon is as original as (Anu Malik :-D) me!
Paris is almost completely devoid of skyscrapers outside La Defense.I guess it might be because of governments effort to preserve the skyline and other cities might be different.I would not comment on that.
Personally,I found Eiffel around half as gorgeous as Taj Mahal.But I cant comment on that as well as that would lead to loss in generality as Eiffel is specific to Paris.
What the hell?(read WTF?)What do I comment on?yeah found something.
I realized that this place has everything mechanized.I have to enter a code to enter my flat & university,the Parkings are unmanned and washing machines are automatic.I believe this is the most fascinating thing to any newly arrived Delhite.I was no exception.But then what the hell?Does it need an Amratya Sen(too lazy to spell check his name) to tell you that its a basic market guiding force that the retailer goes for the cheapest available option which is a mechanized machine in this population starved land.Trust me,it will not take more than a year for most things to get mechanized if the population in Delhi was to be halved.Being an Electronic Engineer myself,I realize that most machines are not complex at all and would definitely be with in most Delhite's reach.(Although I confess being an Electronic Engineer I should have known a lot more)
But one thing which really does whip you off your feet is the quality of janata(am using my lingo again,i mean 'people').The people here impress you as ultra sweet,fake bastards.But fake-ness is secondary and the bottom line is that they are very sweet if you have not read as many books on psychology as I have.If Ignorance is bliss then I am cursed(self praise->my favorite pass time)(Also,I once again had the feeling that did I just write a great line.Comment!!!)Their education is evident.Not that I find them intellectual geniuses compared to the indigenous geniuses or more stylish compared to my friends in Delhi,it is just that absolutely all of them are as educated and sophisticated as my circle in Delhi.But living in Delhi,you have to interact with strange people like an illiterate book keeper.But is that really tough?Cant you just go through the shelves and find the book you want on your own?(Am I getting despo to prove my point?May be).But I find it convenient enough to live with them.Definitely yes if it comes at the cost of living with my favorite people on the planet.It would have been a lot easier had I been a little richer.But who cares(?).I must confess I am overcome by a small desire to spend summers here to escape the summer heat but the feeling easily passes away at the sight of food(described as some warm mess created by me) on every meal.
But then there is a flip side.I wish to clear here that all my arguments are directed ONLY to people who go abroad on the look out of 'better lifestyle'.I am completely supportive of people who travel for better job opportunities,working field,job facilities,relatives,religious reasons, education and anything you can think of except lifestyle.I believe that desire is directed by being able to gain the right to flaunt having been abroad and racist in some cases.Yes,racist.
The need is T.N.R.(totally not required(source:IIT Chennai lingo))
Do think on the following lines by Rakesh Mehra(I guess) and enacted by Amir Khan in the movie Rang De Basanti:
Yaha DJ ka naam hai,DJ ki kuchh aukaat hai.Baahri duniya me koun poochhega?
P.S.now I am having an eerie feeling that did I just write a confused blog?
I read somewhere once "great effort goes into something which takes little effort to read"?!?!?
Thursday, July 12, 2007
living with robo..
(DIS)CLAIMER:
Every word of what follows is true.
Blessings come in all shapes and sizes.My friend(what?!?!) Robo,a hunk from Chennai, had his in the shape of absense of the power to analyze.Did you notice the pun intended in describing an abstract noun of the power to analyze as having shape?This last line was a typical Robo joke,in case you dint realize.If this was the tip of a chicanery ice berg of his power to create humor then the ice berg had the smallest tip with the biggest bottom in the world.Shankar Mahadevan once sang a song called Breathless.He is better than him in saying everything he has in his huge(compared to an electron) brain with equal stress on the first,second third ,third last,second last and last word.His typical slang can make a killer out of the quitest monk.I am not too far from it.He is so versatile that he can say 'Oh I see' in two different ways,one is within his head and the other is audible.My heart skips a beat at the way he says 'aaahhhnhhh' and takes two of annoyance instead.If only I had a recording of his perpetually mistimed laughter, you would have realized how justified my annoyance is.The reason I say he is BLESSED with a small brain is that I always realize doing a job is easier than explaining to him how to do it.If you try to explain then his responses would make you prefer suicide rather than an encore.What do you do?You do the job you had planned to ask him to do.And the idiot escapes with doing no work at all.His only possible forte can be his variety of phobias which can him a perfect subject for breakthrough psychology research which might eventually not be of any use because of the limited nature of his species.By limited I mean limited to one.His phobias are diverse and widespread ranging from sleeping with the lights ON and not turning OFF the pressure cooker because it might burst.And the worst part is the best thing I can find to vent out my anger in this frustrating non english speaking country is this even more idiotic blog which no one reads.If you are wondering that the situation is too bad to be true then trust me.As dear(!) Robo would say:It MIGHT ONLY be true.
Every word of what follows is true.
Blessings come in all shapes and sizes.My friend(what?!?!) Robo,a hunk from Chennai, had his in the shape of absense of the power to analyze.Did you notice the pun intended in describing an abstract noun of the power to analyze as having shape?This last line was a typical Robo joke,in case you dint realize.If this was the tip of a chicanery ice berg of his power to create humor then the ice berg had the smallest tip with the biggest bottom in the world.Shankar Mahadevan once sang a song called Breathless.He is better than him in saying everything he has in his huge(compared to an electron) brain with equal stress on the first,second third ,third last,second last and last word.His typical slang can make a killer out of the quitest monk.I am not too far from it.He is so versatile that he can say 'Oh I see' in two different ways,one is within his head and the other is audible.My heart skips a beat at the way he says 'aaahhhnhhh' and takes two of annoyance instead.If only I had a recording of his perpetually mistimed laughter, you would have realized how justified my annoyance is.The reason I say he is BLESSED with a small brain is that I always realize doing a job is easier than explaining to him how to do it.If you try to explain then his responses would make you prefer suicide rather than an encore.What do you do?You do the job you had planned to ask him to do.And the idiot escapes with doing no work at all.His only possible forte can be his variety of phobias which can him a perfect subject for breakthrough psychology research which might eventually not be of any use because of the limited nature of his species.By limited I mean limited to one.His phobias are diverse and widespread ranging from sleeping with the lights ON and not turning OFF the pressure cooker because it might burst.And the worst part is the best thing I can find to vent out my anger in this frustrating non english speaking country is this even more idiotic blog which no one reads.If you are wondering that the situation is too bad to be true then trust me.As dear(!) Robo would say:It MIGHT ONLY be true.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
an evening in paris
Many things have got redefined after I arrived in Paris.One such thing is an eye lock.An eye contact of any countable number of seconds in Delhi would leave me with an impression of feeling handsome and a self indulgent grin .I have thoroughly enjoyed whatever attention I have got after arrival in Paris from PYTs.What was lecherous for Delhi chicks is received with an amicable smile by paris chicks,worst of whom is comparable to the best in my reach in Delhi. One cant resist an occasional adrenaline pump that it produces at times.
This blog refers to one such evening which stands out for the unusual sequence of events which might be unprecedented in Delhi.
The eye lock began with me turning sharply to look for some shop I had set out to look for and deliberately started to look for it in the place it was least expected to waste as much time as I could,a practice I often adopt on days I have more time than I can use(waste).Her face was a captivating one and I was bound to be captivated.I like to believe that may be in some part of the world I fit in the definition of the word handsome.She made me feel so.Some how,I caught her eye.
The eye lock began.
Then it traveled.
It reached 4 inches below and we smiled.
My seniors had told me that these chicks are always on the look out for boy friends.I had no option left..I approached her and started with Bon Jour(good day).She smiled.I said in broken French if she was game for a coffee.And she replied in broken French that she does not like coffee in restaurants.My French broken in grammar.Hers broken in parts for me to understand.I fumbled with my dictionary to some how offer her coffee in my room.She said the holy words"OUI"(yes).I was told that a girl coming to your room means game on.
I guess you must have guessed what is to follow.
Every word of this is imaginary.
This blog refers to one such evening which stands out for the unusual sequence of events which might be unprecedented in Delhi.
The eye lock began with me turning sharply to look for some shop I had set out to look for and deliberately started to look for it in the place it was least expected to waste as much time as I could,a practice I often adopt on days I have more time than I can use(waste).Her face was a captivating one and I was bound to be captivated.I like to believe that may be in some part of the world I fit in the definition of the word handsome.She made me feel so.Some how,I caught her eye.
The eye lock began.
Then it traveled.
It reached 4 inches below and we smiled.
My seniors had told me that these chicks are always on the look out for boy friends.I had no option left..I approached her and started with Bon Jour(good day).She smiled.I said in broken French if she was game for a coffee.And she replied in broken French that she does not like coffee in restaurants.My French broken in grammar.Hers broken in parts for me to understand.I fumbled with my dictionary to some how offer her coffee in my room.She said the holy words"OUI"(yes).I was told that a girl coming to your room means game on.
I guess you must have guessed what is to follow.
Every word of this is imaginary.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
the adventure of denied possession
On an evening in 1905,Arthur Conan Doyle had just finished writing the adventure of denied possession when strong Easterlie winds started.It so happened that the wind swept away his notes and those notes are what I have in my hands now.Little did I know that an idle walk at the Deauville beach at the west coast of France will bring me such fortune.Without further ado I present the contents of the note I stumbled upon which traveled from England to France in over a hundred years to be found by me:
The Adventure of Denied Possession:
It is hard to find a comparison for my friend Mr Sherlock Holmes.One can compare his distinct qualities to separate personalities of the field,but to compare him to just one soul who walked the earth is a tough job.For that matter,many of his virtues might still be unparallel.
I had become famous as his companion in my circles.And one fine day in a get together I was asked to describe him.A bunch of people asked me to find a similie for him.A few moments later I heard myself saying"He can only be compared to a duck,calm and composed on the outside,but paddling for his life inside the surface."
Much satisfied with my description I headed back to sit on a table as the meals were about to begin.I myself did not know many people in the plethora of known personalities and had requested Holmes to come along which he acquiesced.
The room was a richly furnished one, full of the neatest men in London.Just then there was a loud cry of fear from one corner.On paying attention I soon read the situation.An elegant lady had just received a message through a messenger that her dear one had met with an accident.She rushed out of the room with horror written all over her face.I looked at Holmes and we exchanged looks of feeling sorry for the lady.
By that time Holmes had become a public figure and attracted admirers where ever he went.He was surrounded by one such group when I took the liberty of sneaking out and take a breath of solitude and occupy a vacant seat on a table which was placed in a corner of the hall,separated from the others .I noticed I was in company of three other well groomed men.I introduced myself and they followed suit.
The man to my immediate right was a gentleman from India.His skin and accented indicated that he had shifted to England early on in his life and had left few marks of his place of origin on himself.He told me his name was Mr Ram Kumar Shah.He was a dealer of spices in London which he imported from Kerala in India.
The man to my left told me that he was Mr Romaine Palsey and was in the business of designing carriages for the rich and famous in England.He had started as a mere appointee at one of the small firms in London but rose in leaps and bounds to a great place of prominence in England.
The man to his left was next.He introduced himself as Mr Everton Gommez from Brazil.He told us he was in the tourism business and owned several ships which worked on weekly basis between several ports and that of England.
I was much impressed by the quality and diversity of men I was in company with.And the discussion soon shifted to the great cuisine we had had amongst us.
Just then,the monotonous sound of the rumbling crowd was broken by one of the groups of men that Holmes was a part of.A gentleman
called for every one's attention for a toast to the 'most celebrated detective on the planet :Mr.Sherlock Holmes'.
This triggered a frenzy of people approaching him and congratulating him on whatever work of his they had read about.This was not happening for the first time and was the exact reason why Holmes was hard man to get out of his home.I enjoyed watching him awkwardly acknowledging accolades from a corner.
Just when finally my attention shifted back to myself,I saw a fabulous diamond necklace kept on the very table I was sitting on. One after the other all three of the men seated on the same table noticed it.We all looked at it in sheer astonishment failing to read how it got there.The ring looked possibly the most expensive one in the hall and there it laid on our table with all four looking equally baffled.
It was evident nobody else could have done it.Had somebody from the gentlemen kept it on the table and now refusing to claim the ring?It was just then that the room was entered by the lady in an equal frenzy in which she had left on knowing that somebody from her family had met with an accident.She murmured in tears that she had lost her expensive necklace that she had worn that night and the letter she had received was a hoax.She was not sure whether she lost it in the party or on her way back.It took a while for her frenzy to abate.Mr Ram Kumar showed her the necklace found on the table.On seeing the necklace she started crying again and thanked Mr. Ram Kumar .It was natural for my friend Sherlock Holmes to step in.The necklace was given to her but the mystery was still unsolved that how did it reach our table.I narrated the sequence of events to him as they had unfolded.
He agreed to me that it could not have come from anywhere except the table itself.
He requested nobody to move out until the mystery was solved.Not many were ignorant enough to object thinking that Holmes might take a few months to crack this preposterous sequence of events.Others were supportive.
Holmes approached the lady whose necklace was stolen.
She told him that a boy had handed her over a piece of paper which she gave to him.He studied the paper for a while and sneaked it in his pocket.She told him how she had gone out in a panic and found her brother hail and hearty at her place. Only then she realized that her necklace was missing.Her immediate reaction was to check the carriage and not finding it there she came back to the party.
Sherlock Holmes took a deep breath.
Next he wanted an interview with me.This made me little apprehensive because I was as much a suspect as the other three men.I was confident he can not take me as a suspect and only wanted me for some questions.He asked me to describe the course of events starting from me slipping out when he was surrounded by people.I told him as the events unfolded giving as much detail of the other men as I had collected on that evening.
Next Sherock requested every one to leave him alone with the four men.We realized it was not possible to vacate the huge hall and we had to move to the lawns.We walked out with all four of us walking together and Holmes coming behind us in deep thought.He was so engrossed in deep thought that he stumbled over a stone and fell down on his knees.This resulted in spilling dirt on the shoes of all four of us.I bent down to clean my shoes and made eye contact with Mr Ram Kumar and Mr Everton Gommes as we all were getting erect after cleaning my shoes.Holmes apologized profusely and said we could begin with the proceedings.He asked all four of us to explain our professions which all of us did.He gave a nod and finally spoke when I was done with the description of my job.
He said" I am sorry gentlemen for the great inconvenience I have caused you.But one of you is criminal and has made a basic mistake of leaving behind his hand writing on the paper that he gave to the woman.I request you gentlemen to one by one copy the text on this paper on this sheet."
I went first but much to my surprise I noticed that the text had a sketch of an owl on it.I tried my best with the sketch and showed it Holmes.He studied it briefly.
In a similar manner all three of them submitted the sheet back to Holmes which he studied with great concentration.
And then he asked us to move back inside the hall.He closed the door of the hall behind him and stood with a face of a highly satisfied man.
He made an eye contact with the sherrif and the next moment I saw Mr.Romaine Palsey being arrested by the sherrif .Everyone looked bemused.Palsey was escorted out of the room by the police.
Impulsively everybody hurried to Holmes and inquired about the way of his discovery.To this he asked everybody to get seated and began his narration.He said that it was obvious from the beginning that the crime had been committed by one of these four gentlemen namely Dr. Watson,Everton Gommes,RamKumar,Romaine Palsey.They had all four described to me of the respectable business they were in.That makes it obvious that whoever was lying about the nature of profession was definitely masquerading as somebody else.Thus I just had to assure who was not truthful about his profession.Luckily,I have known this gentleman Dr Watson for a long time and I had removed him from consideration.That left me with a spice dealer,ship merchant and the chariot designer.Holmes took out 2 pieces of paper on both of which it was written 'Chapron met with an accident.Come soon.'
I noticed however that one of these had a yellow tinge to it.
Holmes went on "I took those gentlemen outside with a plan for all three of them.Once I had a little hint of the culprit,I could easily take out the corresponding piece of paper and know the culprit for sure.
Had it been the spice merchant then I would have taken out his paper" and he held out the paper with yellow tinge"Any Indian spice merchant's reaction on seeing this paper would be to say that how the hell this paper has turmeric powder, which is a famous Indian spice."The crowd gasped in appreciation on listening to this.
Then Holmes held out the other piece of paper and said " Had the shit merchant been my prime suspect, I would have shown him this paper". Everybody was confused as it seemed like an ordinary paper"This paper has a stink of Tundra fish and any fish merchants first reaction would be to exclaim how did it get there.
But I needed some hint as to who was the thief.I used the fact that all of them claimed to be rich gentlemen from well off families.But were they really gentlemen or masquerading as one?It was easy enough to differentiate.I used the simple fact that a true gentleman can never bear soil upon his shoes the way north pole can not stick to south pole of a magnet.
So I feigned stumbling and threw some dust on them.All of 3 of them bent down to clean except Palsey.It made me suspicious of his back ground.I decided to give him a piece of paper with a small sketch at its corner.A designer for 20 years, as he told me is suppose to be very smooth with his lines.Which,evidently,he was not at all.The over writing in his hand makes it absolutely clear that he was the thief. I had known from before,it was not his hand writing on the paper. on being asked for handwriting,he relaxeded and forgot completely that he had to be good at graphics That was my sole motive of claiming hand writing match as a clue.
As I understand the sequence of events,he had stolen the necklace with the help of an accomplice.He stole the necklace and the accomplice sent the letter to the lady about the brother.This gave them ample time to run from the place because a lady with such terrible news will rarely realize a missing necklace.The plan was smooth until I was publicly introduced.Palsey froze on hearing that a great detective was present.He got desperate to save his skin but froze while trying to get rid of the necklace and ended up throwing it on the table.After that I stepped in and you all know what followed"
The crowd clapped.
It feels great to own a piece of history.I am planning to hold an auction regarding the same.
Interested people contact me through this blog.
The Adventure of Denied Possession:
It is hard to find a comparison for my friend Mr Sherlock Holmes.One can compare his distinct qualities to separate personalities of the field,but to compare him to just one soul who walked the earth is a tough job.For that matter,many of his virtues might still be unparallel.
I had become famous as his companion in my circles.And one fine day in a get together I was asked to describe him.A bunch of people asked me to find a similie for him.A few moments later I heard myself saying"He can only be compared to a duck,calm and composed on the outside,but paddling for his life inside the surface."
Much satisfied with my description I headed back to sit on a table as the meals were about to begin.I myself did not know many people in the plethora of known personalities and had requested Holmes to come along which he acquiesced.
The room was a richly furnished one, full of the neatest men in London.Just then there was a loud cry of fear from one corner.On paying attention I soon read the situation.An elegant lady had just received a message through a messenger that her dear one had met with an accident.She rushed out of the room with horror written all over her face.I looked at Holmes and we exchanged looks of feeling sorry for the lady.
By that time Holmes had become a public figure and attracted admirers where ever he went.He was surrounded by one such group when I took the liberty of sneaking out and take a breath of solitude and occupy a vacant seat on a table which was placed in a corner of the hall,separated from the others .I noticed I was in company of three other well groomed men.I introduced myself and they followed suit.
The man to my immediate right was a gentleman from India.His skin and accented indicated that he had shifted to England early on in his life and had left few marks of his place of origin on himself.He told me his name was Mr Ram Kumar Shah.He was a dealer of spices in London which he imported from Kerala in India.
The man to my left told me that he was Mr Romaine Palsey and was in the business of designing carriages for the rich and famous in England.He had started as a mere appointee at one of the small firms in London but rose in leaps and bounds to a great place of prominence in England.
The man to his left was next.He introduced himself as Mr Everton Gommez from Brazil.He told us he was in the tourism business and owned several ships which worked on weekly basis between several ports and that of England.
I was much impressed by the quality and diversity of men I was in company with.And the discussion soon shifted to the great cuisine we had had amongst us.
Just then,the monotonous sound of the rumbling crowd was broken by one of the groups of men that Holmes was a part of.A gentleman
called for every one's attention for a toast to the 'most celebrated detective on the planet :Mr.Sherlock Holmes'.
This triggered a frenzy of people approaching him and congratulating him on whatever work of his they had read about.This was not happening for the first time and was the exact reason why Holmes was hard man to get out of his home.I enjoyed watching him awkwardly acknowledging accolades from a corner.
Just when finally my attention shifted back to myself,I saw a fabulous diamond necklace kept on the very table I was sitting on. One after the other all three of the men seated on the same table noticed it.We all looked at it in sheer astonishment failing to read how it got there.The ring looked possibly the most expensive one in the hall and there it laid on our table with all four looking equally baffled.
It was evident nobody else could have done it.Had somebody from the gentlemen kept it on the table and now refusing to claim the ring?It was just then that the room was entered by the lady in an equal frenzy in which she had left on knowing that somebody from her family had met with an accident.She murmured in tears that she had lost her expensive necklace that she had worn that night and the letter she had received was a hoax.She was not sure whether she lost it in the party or on her way back.It took a while for her frenzy to abate.Mr Ram Kumar showed her the necklace found on the table.On seeing the necklace she started crying again and thanked Mr. Ram Kumar .It was natural for my friend Sherlock Holmes to step in.The necklace was given to her but the mystery was still unsolved that how did it reach our table.I narrated the sequence of events to him as they had unfolded.
He agreed to me that it could not have come from anywhere except the table itself.
He requested nobody to move out until the mystery was solved.Not many were ignorant enough to object thinking that Holmes might take a few months to crack this preposterous sequence of events.Others were supportive.
Holmes approached the lady whose necklace was stolen.
She told him that a boy had handed her over a piece of paper which she gave to him.He studied the paper for a while and sneaked it in his pocket.She told him how she had gone out in a panic and found her brother hail and hearty at her place. Only then she realized that her necklace was missing.Her immediate reaction was to check the carriage and not finding it there she came back to the party.
Sherlock Holmes took a deep breath.
Next he wanted an interview with me.This made me little apprehensive because I was as much a suspect as the other three men.I was confident he can not take me as a suspect and only wanted me for some questions.He asked me to describe the course of events starting from me slipping out when he was surrounded by people.I told him as the events unfolded giving as much detail of the other men as I had collected on that evening.
Next Sherock requested every one to leave him alone with the four men.We realized it was not possible to vacate the huge hall and we had to move to the lawns.We walked out with all four of us walking together and Holmes coming behind us in deep thought.He was so engrossed in deep thought that he stumbled over a stone and fell down on his knees.This resulted in spilling dirt on the shoes of all four of us.I bent down to clean my shoes and made eye contact with Mr Ram Kumar and Mr Everton Gommes as we all were getting erect after cleaning my shoes.Holmes apologized profusely and said we could begin with the proceedings.He asked all four of us to explain our professions which all of us did.He gave a nod and finally spoke when I was done with the description of my job.
He said" I am sorry gentlemen for the great inconvenience I have caused you.But one of you is criminal and has made a basic mistake of leaving behind his hand writing on the paper that he gave to the woman.I request you gentlemen to one by one copy the text on this paper on this sheet."
I went first but much to my surprise I noticed that the text had a sketch of an owl on it.I tried my best with the sketch and showed it Holmes.He studied it briefly.
In a similar manner all three of them submitted the sheet back to Holmes which he studied with great concentration.
And then he asked us to move back inside the hall.He closed the door of the hall behind him and stood with a face of a highly satisfied man.
He made an eye contact with the sherrif and the next moment I saw Mr.Romaine Palsey being arrested by the sherrif .Everyone looked bemused.Palsey was escorted out of the room by the police.
Impulsively everybody hurried to Holmes and inquired about the way of his discovery.To this he asked everybody to get seated and began his narration.He said that it was obvious from the beginning that the crime had been committed by one of these four gentlemen namely Dr. Watson,Everton Gommes,RamKumar,Romaine Palsey.They had all four described to me of the respectable business they were in.That makes it obvious that whoever was lying about the nature of profession was definitely masquerading as somebody else.Thus I just had to assure who was not truthful about his profession.Luckily,I have known this gentleman Dr Watson for a long time and I had removed him from consideration.That left me with a spice dealer,ship merchant and the chariot designer.Holmes took out 2 pieces of paper on both of which it was written 'Chapron met with an accident.Come soon.'
I noticed however that one of these had a yellow tinge to it.
Holmes went on "I took those gentlemen outside with a plan for all three of them.Once I had a little hint of the culprit,I could easily take out the corresponding piece of paper and know the culprit for sure.
Had it been the spice merchant then I would have taken out his paper" and he held out the paper with yellow tinge"Any Indian spice merchant's reaction on seeing this paper would be to say that how the hell this paper has turmeric powder, which is a famous Indian spice."The crowd gasped in appreciation on listening to this.
Then Holmes held out the other piece of paper and said " Had the shit merchant been my prime suspect, I would have shown him this paper". Everybody was confused as it seemed like an ordinary paper"This paper has a stink of Tundra fish and any fish merchants first reaction would be to exclaim how did it get there.
But I needed some hint as to who was the thief.I used the fact that all of them claimed to be rich gentlemen from well off families.But were they really gentlemen or masquerading as one?It was easy enough to differentiate.I used the simple fact that a true gentleman can never bear soil upon his shoes the way north pole can not stick to south pole of a magnet.
So I feigned stumbling and threw some dust on them.All of 3 of them bent down to clean except Palsey.It made me suspicious of his back ground.I decided to give him a piece of paper with a small sketch at its corner.A designer for 20 years, as he told me is suppose to be very smooth with his lines.Which,evidently,he was not at all.The over writing in his hand makes it absolutely clear that he was the thief. I had known from before,it was not his hand writing on the paper. on being asked for handwriting,he relaxeded and forgot completely that he had to be good at graphics That was my sole motive of claiming hand writing match as a clue.
As I understand the sequence of events,he had stolen the necklace with the help of an accomplice.He stole the necklace and the accomplice sent the letter to the lady about the brother.This gave them ample time to run from the place because a lady with such terrible news will rarely realize a missing necklace.The plan was smooth until I was publicly introduced.Palsey froze on hearing that a great detective was present.He got desperate to save his skin but froze while trying to get rid of the necklace and ended up throwing it on the table.After that I stepped in and you all know what followed"
The crowd clapped.
It feels great to own a piece of history.I am planning to hold an auction regarding the same.
Interested people contact me through this blog.
Friday, April 6, 2007
Reading The Fountainhead
its not everyday that u sit down to read a book with 700pgs with a tinyfont
hence 700= 1500.
add to that 3 simultaneous projects
hence 1500=marathon task
add to that very limited mention of your favourite character in the book
marathon task+loss of interest=dropping the book
but then reading the review on orkut
dropping the book+ curiosity =picking the book again
but you discover that there are too many equally powerful characters as your favourite one
picking the book again + flaw in writing style = loss of respect for Ayn Rand
but then it feeds you with you with newer skills at your favourite verb-flirtation
loos of respect + finding usefulness = somehow hanging on
harry met sally was unreal in incidental meetings of the 2.this ones worse
somehow hanging on+ ekta kapoor type plot=abusing orkut
favourite character getting lovelier and lovelier, approaching potter
abusing orkut+ finding a new favourite character = loving the book
painstakingly obvious giving a rush which no other eventuality can
loving the book + loving the book = loving the book a lot
if you add all the L.H.S. to all the R.H.S. in the above equations
700 pages = loving the book a lot
mmoral of the story:boredom can make you do strange things.
hence 700= 1500.
add to that 3 simultaneous projects
hence 1500=marathon task
add to that very limited mention of your favourite character in the book
marathon task+loss of interest=dropping the book
but then reading the review on orkut
dropping the book+ curiosity =picking the book again
but you discover that there are too many equally powerful characters as your favourite one
picking the book again + flaw in writing style = loss of respect for Ayn Rand
but then it feeds you with you with newer skills at your favourite verb-flirtation
loos of respect + finding usefulness = somehow hanging on
harry met sally was unreal in incidental meetings of the 2.this ones worse
somehow hanging on+ ekta kapoor type plot=abusing orkut
favourite character getting lovelier and lovelier, approaching potter
abusing orkut+ finding a new favourite character = loving the book
painstakingly obvious giving a rush which no other eventuality can
loving the book + loving the book = loving the book a lot
if you add all the L.H.S. to all the R.H.S. in the above equations
700 pages = loving the book a lot
mmoral of the story:boredom can make you do strange things.
Friday, March 30, 2007
D VYRAS diaries
one fine day in the middle of the night,
we 6 were heading east from Delhi to Jalandhar.
durjoy,ignoring all the chicks in the bus,asked me
"who ll be the last to get married in D VYRAS?" thoughtfully.
and asked for thoughts of anshul and yogesh,who was not studying.
2 bachelor/spinster siblings made anshul softly say yogesh,
dark namita's long study plans made yogesh say rashul.
i agreed with anshul to double yogesh's vote count.
varun expected dj's chaste bouncy dick to come in between his wedding
n rashul somehow thought silky haired sakshi would be the one.
misjudgement of bro's age at his wedding made dj say punjabi accented me.
oozing with intellect D VYRAS brigade moved on.
giggling and grinning with 32X6 out.
P.S.
read again and look for an impossibility in every line
we 6 were heading east from Delhi to Jalandhar.
durjoy,ignoring all the chicks in the bus,asked me
"who ll be the last to get married in D VYRAS?" thoughtfully.
and asked for thoughts of anshul and yogesh,who was not studying.
2 bachelor/spinster siblings made anshul softly say yogesh,
dark namita's long study plans made yogesh say rashul.
i agreed with anshul to double yogesh's vote count.
varun expected dj's chaste bouncy dick to come in between his wedding
n rashul somehow thought silky haired sakshi would be the one.
misjudgement of bro's age at his wedding made dj say punjabi accented me.
oozing with intellect D VYRAS brigade moved on.
giggling and grinning with 32X6 out.
P.S.
read again and look for an impossibility in every line
Thursday, January 25, 2007
lying for a cause..
heres my entry to ht i love delhi..
HT : I LOVE
Reminiscent of the past few days, I had little idea that by the end of my journey I would be deeply in love with
I had wanted to bring along Akshita, but my parents were hard to convince.
Sitting in the train I saw the farmers and villagers with lean physiques working hard to earn a living. I felt physically challenged,inferior compared to those farmers who worked shirtless in December winter when I was struggling to manage without two sweaters. How they would put in long days to plough the field and raise a crop. Nevertheless, life sans chaos seemed so rejuvenating from the distance I was at, it resulted in a flurry of questions to my ‘son of a farmer’ Dad. He tackled them joyfully leading to a long discussion with his fellow son of a farmer, my uncle.
Little did I know that being deprived of hums in Hindi in background while eating can disturb me so much.I used to love South Indian food before the trip. A fortnight on sambhar and now my veins have sambhar running in them and I may die of arteriosclerosis any moment whenever a chunk of kadipatta blocks any vein in my body.
I am always fascinated by the effect of winter on Delhiites. Everybody gets two shades fairer and wears brighter colour to make the city look a lot rosier. Guys get gaudy and girls get bawdy. I missed Akshita’s winter look. How she would clad herself in brightest shades of pink and orange and give complex to the freshest lily in town, I frowned at the thought.
Biking in winter is a trauma for most people. For me, it is a way of life. I missed how my cheek bones would feel as if they had frozen blood. Add to that, been a fortnight since I embraced Akshita.
As the sound of station names changed from ma and cha dominated sounds to sa, ra and ga dominated sounds, I realised we were approaching
The rhythmic sounds of train had redefined silence in the long journey and I was beginning to feel claustrophobic.
Suppose I get admission in Massachusetts Institute of Technology with a full tuition fee waiver, with a monthly stipend to support the living expenses in
The route to be taken to reach home was clearly embedded in my brain. I asked my brother to head to a nearby restaurant which served my favorite hot and spicy, sambhar free, punjabi food. I ate ravenously, feeling more fulfilled than I had for sometime, we proceeded.
Finally the rickshaw pullers, the panwallahs and everybody else were back to their own potpourri of Hindi. I felt as if a broken connection between me and the grass root of the city had been reestablished. Although of late Hindi had become my second language, it mattered.
Sitting in the car, I tried to synchronize with Delhi's pace, the abysmal chaos of a city which will run you over if you took two breaths when you had time for just one.
My thoughts went back to those laborious villagers with heavenly physiques who I so chastely admired a few hours ago. My philosophical self got heavier and I told myself that I also have my own niche in the society which is equally important if not more. If I envy them for their physical faculties, they have an equal case to be jealous of my lifestyle and my knowledge as an engineer.
Then we headed home. A gush of excitement ran through me as I imagined Akshita grinning as hard as she can on seeing me, and hugging me in an avowal of love. I waited for the moment I had visualized virtually every nanosecond of the last forty eight hours.
As I had imagined, I found her ethereally grinning at the door step. I had my first deeper than skin smile of the traumatic fortnight. I was overwhelmed to see her and I reached out to take her in my arms. Akshita, my ten month old niece. The soul met the body.
And now, when I sit down and ponder, I wonder how unaffected I am by the rest of the world apart from such unwanted trips. With a feeling of guilt I tell myself that everything outside this city is just a momentary grief or pleasure for me, like a frog living in a pond who is content with his world as long as water is warm and the food is sweet in the pond and be completely unaffected by the happenings of the world beyond. This is the city where I have all that belongs to me and everybody I want to meet. I am happy to be naïve enough to be unruffled by the chaos of the outside world, to care the least about the disorder and worry about only my technical projects based in Delhi. Sometimes I feel guilty. I pledge frequently that one of these days, I am going contribute to the world outside. But
to the reader...
AIM:
the genesis of this electronic parchment has taken place to accelerate my otherwise snail paced GRE preparations,to escape abeyance.
THEORY:
a blog is fun place to write in.
the strategical statistical obnoxious would be engineer that I am,my brain is loaded with calculations and statistics of the rate at which I am going to post.
In case this millionth time I get lucky,you might just be treated to raw unadulterated typical sachin writings.
Congratulations.
PROCEDURE:
heres the plan:quant is my bread and butter.english is the challenge.So when you come accross a bhel puri of French sounding but English words,beware.I am not trying to impress you.
I am just trying to use one more word from the abyssmal BARRONs so that its etched somewhere in my puny skull.
OBSERVATION:
expect frequent editing in this column.
-> memorised vocab is tough to use.
->Writing after a long time,having struggled to spell 'preparations',i think i have found the reason why my learning rate fell so steeply after school even though i spend more time reading than i did when i was in school.
PRECAUTIONS:
->this blog is not a dictionary.
Even though, if you know me ,you may be in a habit of acquising I am right,I may not be this time!
Hard to believe but true!
So, feel free litter my comments column.
->If you have an important exam coming up,close this window immediately.
the author does not responsible for any damage caused.
the genesis of this electronic parchment has taken place to accelerate my otherwise snail paced GRE preparations,to escape abeyance.
THEORY:
a blog is fun place to write in.
the strategical statistical obnoxious would be engineer that I am,my brain is loaded with calculations and statistics of the rate at which I am going to post.
In case this millionth time I get lucky,you might just be treated to raw unadulterated typical sachin writings.
Congratulations.
PROCEDURE:
heres the plan:quant is my bread and butter.english is the challenge.So when you come accross a bhel puri of French sounding but English words,beware.I am not trying to impress you.
I am just trying to use one more word from the abyssmal BARRONs so that its etched somewhere in my puny skull.
OBSERVATION:
expect frequent editing in this column.
-> memorised vocab is tough to use.
->Writing after a long time,having struggled to spell 'preparations',i think i have found the reason why my learning rate fell so steeply after school even though i spend more time reading than i did when i was in school.
PRECAUTIONS:
->this blog is not a dictionary.
Even though, if you know me ,you may be in a habit of acquising I am right,I may not be this time!
Hard to believe but true!
So, feel free litter my comments column.
->If you have an important exam coming up,close this window immediately.
the author does not responsible for any damage caused.
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I know this one is very late but still it is.... I am the third case guy, to introduce myself. Truely in the first three years at DCE, it has been all regrets for not going to IIT (and taking up something like civil or textile over there). Then NVIDIA somewhat changed everything and I backed up my decision. But now again, Sachin, same question has started to haunt me. Aseem Khosla , my friend in IITD, having 2800 ( or so rank) , got into Textile, and now he has got wonderful package of 26 lakhs p.a. So what say now?? I think its all destiny. Everyone will get what he/she desrves. Its just a matter of time.
January 9, 2008 8:52 AM
The debate is endless tej and i have to thank for sharing this train of thought.
one point you are not considering is that not every one at IIT gets 26lacs and many of them inferior jobs than yourself.
but i still can not negate the fact that with your mental acumen, no career could have been too good had you been there.
February 11, 2008 9:55 AM