Saturday, October 6, 2007

Free fall

People often complain of sameness of their lives but the last four months would testify that I am their absolute anti-theory.

The feeling of free fall often fascinates me and is frequently the subject of my day dreamings.

The cause of such a feeling to arise can be categorized in three ways:


The steep turns of a water slide make you momentarily air borne which gives you a tickle of extreme fear in which you become confident that you have gone off track and heading face first to hard ground. But the feeling ends before it can cause serious damage.

Those lucky/brave souls who have bungee jumped know exactly what I am talking about. I wish I could defer the post till I have been through it but there is no guarantee that I ever will be.


In my sixth hour of the flight between Paris and Moscow, I began to get terribly claustrophobic. A cheap Russian Airlines is the last thing you want if you are as averse to sitting in one place as I am. I tried to doze off and each time I closed my eyes, I would imagine the plane as if I was watching it from ten metres away and then suddenly in a free fall. That was the closest I ever got to the feeling of mental free fall.

This is what has instigated this post and if you are still reading, be glad.

Every thing has been in your control for years.

You love your dad/ mom/ husband / wife.

And then suddenly he loses his power to analyze.

He loses it completely.
Imagine one of your loved one, leaving home to look for Krishna conscience as ENSEA's, Justine Precioso's cousin had gone. She got ultra excited the moment she heard I am from India.

Imagine your loved one losing all traces of competitiveness on the look out for some thing else.

Or any god damn thing. Its a sinking feeling and its even worse when you have hope that things will get back in place but they never do.

Imagine being incarcerated away from any one whom you have ever wanted to meet. You care a damn about the inflation rate or t20 cup. Your only botheration is to cut a day without being uncontrollably depressed. To spend a day with just two or three emotional break downs would be a day spent well.

At moments like these you understand what freedom is. You understand what emotional free fall is all about. All except Buddha from the third century are slaves to such feelings.
You grasp at whatever you can get your hands on but it doesn't work. You just keep falling and falling reflecting on whatever has happened or going to happen.


Kshitij said...

...but you always bounce back, don't you? Doesn't a bungee too?

Abhishek said...

i know a guy...hes a kind of drug dealer...!!(not a druglord...!!)
he deals in so called psychoactive drugs...
mayb he can help u....

Anonymous said...

i didnt get what u are talking abt

the cloud with the bronze lining said...

hey gr8 wrk... rock on... n do chk my blog sumtime....

Neha said...

can't say anything more

Swayamsiddha Das said...

i liked the emotional freefall part the bst...gr8 work...

sachin said...

well the bungee has a gurantee of jumping back.
we just have hope.


this post have been written under multiple contraints and am glad that just one out of six has not been able to appreciate it.
if i know you, feel free to join me on gtalk.

@bronze lining

reply by mail

thanks.that was the only part i wanted to write any ways.

Sachin the Seth :)) said...

as always, that anonymous was me, seth.............

Sachin the Seth :)) said...

which i am sure u had figured out, surely....

i request others to tell me what it is actually they are fawning over

by the way, i keep coming bak to it, tere GRE ka HUA kya?

Arpz said...

hmmm *sigh* (make that a long drawn sigh) thinks, understands, knows better than to comment ... walks away.

but not before she says "take care" in the most genuine sense of the word ( and when a stranger does say take care - atleast this one, be sure she means it; for, she doesnt expect anything in return, she has nothing to lose by not saying the words, she has nothing to gain by you taking care, but she wants you to...)
sometimes, a free fall is extremely necessary to reach a state of equilibrium.

Johnny Cigar said...

its a post written with great apprehensions about being taken as too senti and idiotic and heavily criticized.
am glad you could understand it so well.
the situation has changed a lot from what it was when this post was written but your comment was the most refreshing that could have happened..
thanks for being so nice!