Sunday, February 10, 2008

V day post

V day is nearing and the eternal lover boy that i am, how can i let the chance go to add my bit to the occasion.
Heres one line each dedicated to each one of my ex girl friends, the definition of girl friend strictly being having said/typed the three golden words.
Whatever they suggest, I emphasize that I have loved loving these girls.

number1. Love and inertia are like carrots and radishes. They look similar but one is red and the other is white.

number2. Does dumbness really know no bounds or was it just you?

number3. If I cant tolerate you, most probably, I cant love you.

number4. No seriously, heterosexuality is generally fun. I just had an off day.

number5. You would like Sachin Tendulkar except for the mustache and remember, Tendulkar does not have a mustache.

number6. That message that you read was from number 5 and not one of my friend's silly jokes.

number7. Today, its been thirteen years since we met.

number8. You would have a cute ass if u wax it.

number9. All TV serials are fictitious and should not be referred while making life changing decisions.

number10. I have started saying excuse me after farting.

number11. Loved your acting in 'pretty woman' and 'oceans 12'. We should start dating again.

number12. If only you knocked at the door before coming over to my place that day...

number13. You never know, I might still just manage a career.

number14. My successor made me puke.

number15. Belated Happy Birthday.

number16. Please make sure I am the first one to know as soon as you get your nose surgery done.

number17, Its unnatural to use Janu, sweetoo, cutie pie in one sentence.

number18. Hope you dont make that sound from your nose when you laugh.

number19. Some times, four inches of heels are not enough.

number20. Why did you have to become so hot immediately after we broke up.

number21. I still do, even though I know I shouldn't.

number22. I am still waiting for your second novel after 'the god of small things'.

number23. Hehe, you did expect I would call you back, didn't you?

number24. You French! Racism sucks.

number25. The verb which follows 'didnt' is in present tense, even if you are talking about something from the past.

number26. You are the only girl I have ever come across who did not know that boys are pigs.

number27. Thanks for all the gifts. Sorry for disappearing two days ahead of your birthday.

number28. I switched to 'axe' from the road side ones.

number29. Not everything I say can be described as 'stupid, cutely stupid.'

number30. You missed the right era for being born by seven millenniums.

number31. I promise I would not mistake your name with other girl's name. Just come back. You are very special because you are only thirty first true love.

number32. If you come back, I promise I wont bore you by faking British and American accents, even though I have grown really good at it.

number33. Please change the 'from my past relationships I have learned' section from your Orkut profile. Some of my friends actually know we were dating and it is just too malicious.

number34. Parle vous anglais?

number35. The other day one of my friend talked dirty about you and I did just what you would have wanted me to, gave him your number.

number36. Wish you were not imaginary like the rest of them.

It was fun writing this post.
Should help being single, yet again, this V Day.

P.S. Epilogue added to the post KBC Jaldi?

295 comments:

1 – 200 of 295   Newer›   Newest»
Sahefa said...

hi
nice post
do read mine and comment in.

Kshitij said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kshitij said...

Interesting!!

No 4 was queer!

The last one let me down..all ficticious?

Julia, Arundhati, Draupadi(?), Shilpa(?)..interesting list.
Bruni's off limits now!!

Vandita said...

:)
extra smiles @ #1, 9, 20, 26, 35

Amrita said...

17, 33 and 35 are my favs :)

Macadamia The Nut said...

Lol! Quite the artful dodger aren't you? :D Nice posts.. and I'm going to take my below 130 IQ to a padded room and try to figure out the answer to your previous post ;)

Johnny Cigar said...

@sahefa,
Sure I will.
thanks.

Johnny Cigar said...

@Kshitij,
Thanks for doubting if this post was real.
Makes me feel like a hunk.
Draupadi? Shilpa?
Where did you get those?

Johnny Cigar said...

@vandita,
thanks,
reread those points on reading your comment and nobody grins more than i do on reading each point.

Johnny Cigar said...

@amrita,
mine too.
thanks

Johnny Cigar said...

the nut,
try girl.
lemme give you a hint.
you have a connection with the answer, unlike almost all of my other blog readers.
keep trying.

Adi Crazy said...

Loved the 7th, 14th, 20th, 23rd and 35th.
Very funny. Long live the V-Day Spirit. Single is the best.

*I almost want to shout these lines out and giggle*

27 is sad, really.

Angad Singh Ranyal said...

grt post!!!!

Preethi said...

funny but
Single u shall remain with this attitude.
The saving grace though will be your way with words:)
Lemme know when words win!
Happy V-day!

ps: did u really like Julia Roberts????

gunj said...

lol
tht was funny
dnt temme u had so many gfs :P

Bubbles of FireWhisky said...

"number5. You would like Sachin Tendulkar except for the mustache and remember, Tendulkar does not have a mustache."

- lolz... msgd tat 2 my ex...

"number17, Its unnatural to use Janu, sweetoo, cutie pie in one sentence."
- msgd tat 2 my uncle's gf... mushy is her middle name...

gr8 post

divya said...

lolz @ 2 12 20 26 27 31 33

u so funny :P

i guess its time for u to pick ur awards from my place :)

Vinesh said...

hahaha!
quite a casanova i see!
alls fair in love and humour i guess ;-)

freesherry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
freesherry said...

lol.. of all the valentine's day posts I have read..and i have read quite a few... this one takes the cake, pastry, eclair and all the rest of those tempting things that make my sweet tooth waver :D
This is what I meant when I said i like your "dry" humour

Reeta Skeeter said...

LMAO!

Mez said...

So u claim to have kissed all of these?

Honey said...

well indeed u tried to relate ur post with so much talked about valentine's day... i dnt understand what joy do u get in putting up sumthin which can't be termed as pleasing... but nyways sum of ur numbers were hilarious enough to bring a smile on the face of exceptional people around but some were awful....

Pointblank said...

casanova, eh? lol!

Supernova said...

A ROFLing post for sure..i just cudnt stop laughing :D
even though imaginary, der were a few even i had thot of sayin to sm1 at sm point or another.
Keep writing! :)

Sumit Takkar said...

liked 2,20,22,26 and 36!
valentines day does bring out innovative ideas for a post like this! good one

Anonymous said...

please be a sport you loser...

Zee said...

wah wah!!! imagination runneth wild! :)

Aditya said...

lol lol nd lol

Tht can be my only comment :D

creyzeee said...

by far the funniest of ur posts dat i've read! hehe

Altar Ego said...

number14. My successor made me puke, number20. Why did you have to become so hot immediately after we broke up & number35. The other day one of my friend talked dirty about you and I did just what you would have wanted me to, gave him your number.

Simply loved em! Nice to hv stumbled upon ur blog...

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