Friday, June 17, 2011
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Sachinopedia: The End
More for myself, to be picked up when I struggle with my second book (which is shaping nice already btw), than for all the cute chicks which read this piece of electronic parchment.
HOW TO WRITE A NOVEL.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
My Autobioraphy
- You are suffering from low self esteem and think you have done nothing in life.
- You have lots of vella time, even more than me.
- You have a laptop/ good desktop.
Friday, January 9, 2009
i had never been there.
i had heard its description.
i knew it was not dull a place.
but i was scared.
and then i stepped in.
and i realized that this was probably not my first time here.
i had been here but the memory had gone faint.
it must have been a long time back.
and then i did what i ahd dreaded all this time.
i turned the tap on and got all wet.
i even used the soap.
Friday, January 2, 2009
The point of no return
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Adventure sport | Feasibility |
Bungee jumping | Low |
Snorkelling | Nil |
Paragliding | Very low |
Trekking | Lower than nil |
Skydiving | Lowestest possible |
Overnight stay on the beach | Lowestest impossible |
Break the law | Bad |
Get sloshed in a Parisian night club | Ultra bad |
skiing | medium |
White water rafting | Rock bottom |
Writing a novel | Cake walk |
Fingers crossed for the trip to France!
Cant wait for Sept 2009!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Goodnight folks!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Lucknow to Delhi
NR: Dude I am so sleepy that I am panicking!!
VKR: No dude you cant be sleepy. May be you are not panicking enough. Panic a little more and the sleep will fly away.
NR: No panic and sleep are independent in my case. I am feeling sleepy and the more I panic, the more sleepy I get.
VKR: Dude you are driving and we are still 240 km from Delhi. We have to be back in Delhi in 5 hours or we are dead.
NR: It is not in my hand!! Do something VKR!!
VKR: Well.. lets have a coffee at the next dhaba.
(230 km from Delhi) (had coffee)
NR: Dude it is still not working. I am sleepy again. The coffee was good for 10 km only. I am sleepy again. I cant drive. We wont make it. Why didnt you learn to drive you idiot.
VKS: Nahi yar. We cant afford that. You have to stay up. Lemme think of a way. ok. Lets talk about something. If we can talk about something interesting, we can sail through.
NR: Ok. Lets talk about foreign exotic lands.
(220 km from Delhi)
VKR: Ok.
(It works for another 10km)
NR: No even this is not working. I am not interested in the Spanish missionaries you met in kanyakumaaris. Do something more interesting. Keep me up or we will meet with an accident!!
VKS: Ok. Which topic is of most interest to you?
NR + VKS (in chorus): Sex.
VKS: Ok. We are 220 km from home. I will tell you 11 sex stories and each one of them will last 20km. This way you would be easily able to stay up, I am sure. Chal, lets do it.
(And they reached home safely, before time.)
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Kolkata kolling.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
MBA, Aspirational sentences
Sentence number 1:
"Hi, I am Sachin Garg. I am a struggling writer."
"I am an MBA. I will be doing my summers at a top notch finance company."
Monday, October 27, 2008
The full short story
The porcupine was in love with the porcupiness.
The jungle was going through an economic slump.
So the cheetah decided he would go to the city for career opportunities.
The girrafe's mom had a habit of comparing the giraffe to the cheetah all the time and the giraffe knew if the cheetah reaches the city, he is dead.
He tried to stop the cheetah but he couldnt.
The cheetah was now in the city.
The giraffe and the porcupine were left in the jungle.
They had to do something to make it big.
So they joined the Jungle School of Management.
They pledged that they would make it big in this B school.
But giraffe just could not understand management.
He was too dumb for it man.
Or may be he was too pragmatic.
He found management weird.
He could not understand why there is so much fuss about non existent issues.
'Conceptualize, strategize, organize, Prioritize'; Just in time theory and whatever...
But he had to make it big as the cheetah had already done it.
Thus he came up with a research paper on 'there and then' theory.
He explained why all decision should be made at the fastest possible with minimum of fuss and junked mathematics.
His paper was revered.
He was a celebrity.
Now the porcupine thought, cheetah is in the city, giraffe is a celeb, what do I do?
He decided he would top jungle school of management and get the top placement.
Voila! What an idea! Why hadnt he thought of it before? Just top the god damn exam.
But still the giraffe bagged the top placement for his research paper.
The porcupine fell apart.
He was the only loser in the trio now.
The porcupiness left him in minutes.
What did he do?
He got into drinking.
He drank drank drank till his neck.
And then he thought,
alcohol is bad for my liver.
So he quit drinking and started introspecting.
He had lost all desire to consume anything created by animalkind.
He wanted to be the creator of everything.
And hence he started Project X.
He worked hard thinking of the porcupiness all the time.
The girrafe was still doing his heavy job of managing turnover at a BPO.
The cheetah had found a job in a circus.
The procupiness was there some where.
He did not know what is the point in project X.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Of course I love you.. Till I find someone better ( A review)
Love,
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
* drum roll *
Sunday, October 12, 2008
15-10-08
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Short Story (Part 2)
The porcupine was in love with the porcupiness.
The jungle was going through an economic slump.
So the cheetah decided he would go to the city for career opportunities.
The girrafe's mom had a habit of comparing the giraffe to the cheetah all the time and the giraffe knew if the cheetah reaches the city, he is dead.
He tried to stop the cheetah but he couldnt.
The cheetah was now in the city.
The giraffe and the porcupine were left in the jungle.
They had to do something to make it big.
So the joined the Jungle School of Management.
They pledged that they would make it big in this B school.
But giraffe just could not understand management.
He was too dumb for it man.
Or may be he was too pragmatic.
He found management weird.
He could not understand why there is so much fuss about non existent issues.
'Conceptualize, strategize, organize, Prioritize'; Just in time theory and whatever...
But he had to make it big as the cheetah had already done it.
Thus he came up with a research paper on 'there and then' theory.
He explained why all decision should be made at the fastest possible with minimum of fuss and junked mathematics.
his paper was revered.
He was a celebrity.
Now the porcupine thought, cheetah is in the city, giraffe is a celeb, what do I do?
He decided he would top jungle school of management and get the top placement.
Voila!
he topped every exam in JSM.
But still the giraffe bagged the top placement for his research paper.
The porcupine fell apart.
He was the only loser in the trio now.
The porcupiness left him in minutes.
What did he do?
He got into drinking.
He drank drank drank till his neck.
And then he thought,
alcohol is bad for my liver.
So he quit drinking and started introspecting.
He had lost all desire to consume anything created by animalkind.
He wanted to be the creator of everything.
And hence he started Project X.
He worked hard thinking of the porcupiness all the time.
The girrafe was still doing his heavy job of managing turnover at a BPO.
The cheetah had found a job in a circus.
The procupiness was there some where.
And as I write this post on 16th August, 2008, the porcupine's Project X is about to make it big.
*To be continued once this post reaches 30 comments*
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Short story
The jungle was going through an economic slump.
So the cheetah decided he would go to the city for career opportunities.
The giraffe's mom had a habit of comparing the giraffe to the cheetah all the time and the giraffe knew if the cheetah reaches the city, he is dead.
He tried to stop the cheetah but he couldnt.
The cheetah was now in the city.
The giraffe and the porcupine were left in the jungle.
They had to do something to make it big.
So the joined the jungle school of Management.
They pledged that they would make it big in this B school.
But giraffe just could not understand management.
He was too dumb for it man.
Or may be he was too pragmatic.
He found management weird.
He could not understand why there is so much fuss about non existent issues.
'Conceptualize, strategize, organize, Prioritize'; Just in time theory and whatever...
But he had to make it big as the cheetah had already done it.
Thus he came up with a research paper on 'there and then' theory.
He explained why all decision should be made at the fastest possible with minimum of fuss and junked mathematics.
his paper was revered.
He was a celebrity.
Now the porcupine thought, cheetah is in the city, giraffe is a celeb, what do I do?
He decided he would top jungle school of management and get the top placement.
Voila!
he topped every exam in JSM.
But still the giraffe bagged the top placement for his research paper.
The porcupine fell apart.
He was the only loser in the trio now.
What did he do?
He got into drinking.
He drank drank drank till his neck.
*To be continued on the day this post reaches 30 comments*
jaldi karo yar. feel like writing.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
DCE
and discovered it can touch 120kmph.
developed passions which I had least expected four years ago,
but fell out of love with food.
became a true connoisseur of quality bakchodi,
but lost my appetite for arbitrary fart.
Where I learned electronics.
hahahahahahaahahahahahahhaaha!
Where I enjoyed soccer but not tech,
spent max hours as a moral wreck.
Where I took off for Paris,
to come back no wiser.
Where VG came to me for fundes for his gf,
and VB thought I could not bat for my life.
I made sure I proved him right,
by leading the defending champs to an off-podium finish.
Where mech cantt gave me shelter,
when lecture halls didnt.
and I spent those hours ogling rather than hogging.
Where I and Yogesh made 40 robots.
(shhh.....only 2 of them worked)
I made friends which I would definitely not marry my daughter to.
Neither let my son meet.
ACADS, all I can say is,
I seldom flunked, often passed,
aint that good enough?
I did things I wont want anyone to know.
But still leaked the news on my own.
Where the empty spaces seemed to get filled,
but da monologue of life had a different epilogue.
Life was a roller coaster,
faster than TGV.
and today, I woke up and said,
'Oye! chaar saal ho bhi gaye!!!!'
:)
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Writing / humor.
Instinctively, I rate whatever I read on this scale and the conclusion is simple.
The drier the sense of humor, the more I like it.
Not many can see the humor hidden between the lines of what Arundhati might have to say.
Even I have not been able to get a single joke in what Joseph Heller had to say, to the extent that I have still not read Catch 22, after 3 attempts.
Or you can go the Chetan Bhagat way by hypnotizing the reader that the book is funny and leaving it up to him to look for the humor, which he mostly does.
But then came a stage when I had to choose my own style of humor and I discovered that I have never truly liked any funny writer at all.
The style that I finally adopted was dry enough for it to be readable for myself and that is nothing short of six sigma ratings and as it goes under review by several publishers, my fingers are paining from being crossed from so long.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
20 Qs
Ans. yes.
Q2. Alive?
Ans yes.
Q3. Asian?
Ans no.
Q4. American(North South included)?
Ans no.
Q5. African?
Ans yes.
Q6. Sportsman?
And. no.
Q7. Entertainment?
Ans. no.
Q8. Politics?
Ans. Kinda.
Q9. Northern half of Africa?
Ans. yes.
Q10. Moroccan?
Ans. no.
Q11. Egyptian?
Ans. yes.
Q12. Politician at the national level?
Ans. very long back.
Q13. Politician at the international level?
Ans. some time back.
Q14. Is he still active?
Ans. not considerably.
Q15. Would I have heard his name?
Ans. I heard his name in class 5 and never been able to forget it.
I leave the final 5 Qs to the reader to ask me.
I have no clue how tough or easy I have made this one.
Looking forward to knowing it.
:)
sachingarg.dce@gmail.com
Monday, May 5, 2008
Both are fun but cricket can never ever give the high of hitting the ground unaware, having decided to dive in too little time to prepare your posture.
Football on the other hand, gives the highest of highs, each time I fall, everything happening too fast for me to cushion my chest.
Desktop versus Laptop.
Who named this thing laptop? I am still constantly hooked with the cable. My lap is too lazy to bear its weight. What is the difference esp if you have a seven room house?
Arundhati Roy versus Rushdie.
Rushdie really saddens me as he is impossible to match. Roy cheers me up cos she is a lot easier to equal.
Committed versus Single.
Its complex. Leave it.
Blogspot versus Wordpress.
Blogspot is easier and user friendly. Every other consideration is in wordpress's favor.
Life versus Death.
Did you really think I will write about something like that?
Windows versus Linux.
Windows is like a cycle rickshaw. Linux is like a cow.
Blogging versus not blogging.
Two things are tough about blogging. One is to blog about topics I dont really feel like blogging on. The other is to not to blog on topics I really really want to blog on.
Sachin versus the world.
Both underestimate the ability of the other. Both have no clue what the other is capable of.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Speed Painting.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
10 movies I wish I had made.
1. Blood Diamond (the best thrill in the movie was to know it is non fiction at the end)
1. The Simpson's Movie (nothing beats Simpson)
1. The Godfather (a textbook for converting a book to a movie, a lost art)
1. Sholay (some movies are so terribly internalized that you can not judge them)
1. Seven (defines intelligent cinema)
1. Ratatouille (this one showed that actually animation is the superior form of cinema)
1. The Shawshank redemption (that it does not need stars, back ground score, frills but simplicity is still the strongest tool)
1. August Rush (one of those movies which might seem absolutely stupid on paper but brilliant on screen)
1. Yojimbo (this one is yet to be bettered, even after five decades)
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Backpacking Quotient.
Bored?
Backpacking seems the only solution?
Heres a one minute guide to test how suitable you are for backpacking:
Rate your comfort level out of hundred for each of the following:
1. Eating a very greasy Bread Pakoda from a very unhygienic place?
2. Sitting on an unpadded seat, withstanding armpit smells?
3. Run 5 kilometers without stopping?
4. Use Indian toilet and Western toilet (with or without toilet paper) with equal panache?
5. (For girls only) Shoo away guys from all races, castes, sects and accents?
6. (For guys only) Not be shooed away from gals from any race, caste, sect or accent?
7. Have the ability to deal with autowallahs every time you get out of a station?
8. Love Sachinopedia?
Now add the percentage you have given to yourself and divide it by 800 to get your Backpacking quotient.
My score:100!
Had planned a series of posts with Wacky thing of the day but lost enthu too soon.
If you wondering what inspired this particular post,
just back from an Agra trip and met lotsa firangs who were inspiring in a strange, unprecedented way.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Whacky Thing of The Day (23rd March)
A serial titled 'Shohrat'.
Complete episode shot on Ekta Kapoor's weekly pocket money at the age of seven.
Script with Hindi that could beat Jodha Akbar's urdu.
Costumes such that the nukkad natak company employees had forgotten to change before the shoot.
Acting prowess of actors from ramlila.
But the pluses:
Story volume equivalent to one season of Star Plus serials covered in one episode.
No back ground score, such a relief.
Constant grin on my face for thirty minutes.
Whacky thing of the day.
Nothing really to add career wise.
Thus launching,
post series by the title:
'Whacky thing of the day'
lets see what I can come up with.
Arbit mind of a day scholar.
Monday, March 17, 2008
"We dont need no education.
We dont need no thought control."
Who am I to offend him?
When saint Twain said
"A man can not be comfortable without his own approval"
Why did he not give some guidelines on standards to be set for approval?
When wild Wilde said
"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal."
Why did he not use a smilie to tell me if he was kidding?
When iconic Einstein said:
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."
Was he referring precisely to the situation I am going through these days?
When startling Aristotle said:
"All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind."
Why did he miss out on unpaid jobs which dont seem any better?
When Sachin Garg said:
"I feel like writing arbit all night tonight"
Was he serious?
Four years in DCE. Dated no DCEite. Wasted four years.
MENTOS ZINDAGI:
Four years in DCE. No DCEite dated me. Their four years got wasted.
AAM ZINDAGI:
Only ten people read my blog.
MENTOS ZINDAGI:
Nobody reads Ashish's secret blog.
AAM ZINDAGI:
Topped from prenursery to 12th. Reduced to 60% in college.
MENTOS ZINDAGI:
Thousands scored passing marks but I even lost passing marks(40%).
AAM ZINDAGI:
No B school wants me right now.
MENTOS ZINDAGI:
Stanfy beckons after two years.
AAM ZINDAGI:
Why cant I sing?
MENTOS ZINDAGI:
Can Himesh?
AAM ZINDAGI:
It sucks to be single.
MENTOS ZINDAGI:
No it really does suck to be single even in mentos zindagi.
:-(
:-|
:-)
:-D
:-*
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Anti Midas Touch.
I do not believe in fate.
I hate HATE HATE people who read horoscope.
Nothing, I believe, is pre-decided.
But this anti Midas touch I seem to have developed is shaking the base of each and every funda.
I can turn gold to coal.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
V day post
Heres one line each dedicated to each one of my ex girl friends, the definition of girl friend strictly being having said/typed the three golden words.
Whatever they suggest, I emphasize that I have loved loving these girls.
number1. Love and inertia are like carrots and radishes. They look similar but one is red and the other is white.
number2. Does dumbness really know no bounds or was it just you?
number3. If I cant tolerate you, most probably, I cant love you.
number4. No seriously, heterosexuality is generally fun. I just had an off day.
number5. You would like Sachin Tendulkar except for the mustache and remember, Tendulkar does not have a mustache.
number6. That message that you read was from number 5 and not one of my friend's silly jokes.
number7. Today, its been thirteen years since we met.
number8. You would have a cute ass if u wax it.
number9. All TV serials are fictitious and should not be referred while making life changing decisions.
number10. I have started saying excuse me after farting.
number11. Loved your acting in 'pretty woman' and 'oceans 12'. We should start dating again.
number12. If only you knocked at the door before coming over to my place that day...
number13. You never know, I might still just manage a career.
number14. My successor made me puke.
number15. Belated Happy Birthday.
number16. Please make sure I am the first one to know as soon as you get your nose surgery done.
number17, Its unnatural to use Janu, sweetoo, cutie pie in one sentence.
number18. Hope you dont make that sound from your nose when you laugh.
number19. Some times, four inches of heels are not enough.
number20. Why did you have to become so hot immediately after we broke up.
number21. I still do, even though I know I shouldn't.
number22. I am still waiting for your second novel after 'the god of small things'.
number23. Hehe, you did expect I would call you back, didn't you?
number24. You French! Racism sucks.
number25. The verb which follows 'didnt' is in present tense, even if you are talking about something from the past.
number26. You are the only girl I have ever come across who did not know that boys are pigs.
number27. Thanks for all the gifts. Sorry for disappearing two days ahead of your birthday.
number28. I switched to 'axe' from the road side ones.
number29. Not everything I say can be described as 'stupid, cutely stupid.'
number30. You missed the right era for being born by seven millenniums.
number31. I promise I would not mistake your name with other girl's name. Just come back. You are very special because you are only thirty first true love.
number32. If you come back, I promise I wont bore you by faking British and American accents, even though I have grown really good at it.
number33. Please change the 'from my past relationships I have learned' section from your Orkut profile. Some of my friends actually know we were dating and it is just too malicious.
number34. Parle vous anglais?
number35. The other day one of my friend talked dirty about you and I did just what you would have wanted me to, gave him your number.
number36. Wish you were not imaginary like the rest of them.
It was fun writing this post.
Should help being single, yet again, this V Day.
P.S. Epilogue added to the post KBC Jaldi?
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Short story.(edited)
Caution: do not read if your IQ is below 130.
USHA was an idiot.
USHA was a wild undiscovered bush, reluctant to grow as her classmates loomed large over her, without she even knowing about it, until some of her classmates tried to enslave her as she was about to turn fifteen.
Until her eighteenth year, torture tolled.
starting from the seventy fifth day, till the eighty first day of her eighteenth year, she fought, strategised, talked and emerged victorious.
But irreversible damage had been done by her classmates.
They had mordernised her even more than themselves in the process.
She worked her ass off and was light years ahead of her classmates by the twenty ninth day of her twentieth year until her downfall.
Miscalculations resulted in utter havoc and she was down in the dumps for three full days.
As the third day ended, she came back on track and managed to make sure that it is not repeated for almost a year until today, when once again she is down and seemingly out.
But am I speaking too soon?
It has only been eight hours since she entered this phase of dishevelment.
And there are bigger questions like what will she do if she does not manage to come out of the hole.
Would she jeopardize the same classmates who had once tortured her, even though they are in a condition of stalemate, even friendship with some of those.
How would she react to those out of the one hundred and ninety one classmates who were not part of the torturing party.
Would USHA come out as the big bad daddy destroying everything that it can get its hands on?
Or will she fight the situation like a champion she has been for the last three years and make me sound stupid for having written even before the eighth hour has ended on 22Jan, 9:30 PM, as I write this.
Now my question to the reader is, who/what does USHA symbolize?
Edit:
Solvers till now:
Kshitij Bahadur.
Durjoy Datta.
Doesnt really matter:).
TVOLAD.
My email: sachingarg.dce@gmail.com
Friday, January 11, 2008
High on chewing gum...
Literature 101 Test Paper
Question1: An apple is kept on the lectern of an author. Try to be in the shoes of several different authors with diverse styles and try to emulate their writing styles.
Chetan Bhagat:
This is an apple.
Inzamam-ul-Haq:
Allah be praised. This is a appel.
Arundhati Roy:
This is an apple, saving which the gardener must have run behind naughty kids who stole apples just for the fun of it, rather than the need, vacating space in the process for the monkeys to latch on to branch after branch to make their way to the much coveted apple which hung there, indifferent to act against its own downfall and disappearance in the obliviousness of the intestines of our ancestral specie, only half intelligent as us, and consequently, only half hygienic. It does not mind its atoms being mixed with those of stinky unmentionable stuff, a death much more contemptible than a respectful one of natural causes which it might manage to sneak if he manages to escape from the attention of the monkey today and tomorrow of the gardener.
Lauren Weisenberg:
Well, on days like these one really does regret becoming a writer in the first place. Not being paid for the most uninteresting, pseudo unchallenging job which, on top of it all, is not going to be read by anyone.
Sweet.
So dear Mr apple, I bow to your supremacy of possessing the power to propel life, which, agreed, thousands of other species of living beings also do, but you are still, no doubt, peculiar.
I must say however, that had there been any other fruit or vegetable in front of me today to be described, that would have also been equally peculiar.
Sulman Rushdie:
Rising in buoyant curves in implicit shoulders, judging from the ratio they made between the bench to the crest, reflecting light with differential magnitude on its crimson shimmering surface, the apple is kept on the table, in a state of too much superciliousness to react at the honor of being the subject of inspiration of the winner of Booker of Booker's, myself. It’s daring me for a conflict of the titans, as to who will psyche out the other and prove his dominance by not attempting to demonstrate it at all.
M.K. Gandhi:
Eating an apple is directly related to rising lust level in a man. I shall resist it till the last drop of my blood.
Doctors keep requesting me to eat apples as my iron level is on the fall steadily. But I just join my hands and refuse the offer politely explaining to them that only sacrifice can lead to true attainment of ideal life style, lust is a direct enemy of which.
I hope my Kathiawad friends and my son Hari can understand my view point and forgive me for this.
P.G. Wodehouse:
It is amazing how seemingly easy jobs can turn out to be the toughest ones. Today I was told I have to describe an object. I geared myself for the Chateau de Versailles or the Pinnah fish to be presented for which I would happily weave fancy sentences, dedicating personal attention to each and every possible view of the object.
But what an anticlimax to find an apple kept on the table.
What can any one write about an apple?
Even though this line and the previous one are being read back to back by you, they have three gruelling hours between them, and as you must have guessed by now, I am going to hand it over to Jeeves and take a nap now, finding myself incapable of writing a single sentence about it.
It was only three days later that I accidentally came across what Jeeves had finally written in his neat petite handwriting:
'This is a red apple.'
Jeeves, educated just enough to be a butler, had yet again outwitted me.
P.S.:Did Harbhajan say ‘monkey’ or did he say ‘maa ki?’
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Life is lotcha.
Resolution #1: Ought to get published before 2009 arrives, be it in the technical press of IEEE through a research paper or the much-lusted-for Penguin India through my first novel 'A Theory Of Intelligence.'
(Details deliberately withheld to validate the print-outs of my own printer as having been published.)
Resolution #2: Will not be short sighted for any career related decisions and would always take the bigger picture in to account, every time. Will not treat myself as a gifted, extra terrestrial, super natural powers possessing, higher being and will keep it simple.
(All it means is fancier excuses coming up for procrastination of all career related tasks.)
Resolution #3: Will appropriately exploit all my half talents like sketching, biking, soccer, writing(?), athletics, cricket, biking, scuplturing, reciting, anchoring, dancing, sky diving, hair dressing, tailoring and cooking by practising each one of them for at least two hours, every day.
(Position vacant for a sky diving mate) .
Resolution #4: Will graduate my four pack to an ala SRK six pack.
(Cant promise, but will also try to not turn down requests for tips on developing a four pack.)
Resolution #5: Will top eigth semester, Electronics and Communication Engineering, Delhi College of Engineering.
(Dont laugh. Its only been nine years since I last topped my class.)
Resolution #6: I will watch more movies, read more books and become even more sane.
(sane, you see, is a flexible word.)
Resolution #33: I will not tamper with point number of my posts to bring the delusion of a long post.
(ciao.)
P.S. With eight definite and four marginally wrong decisions in one match and one racist charge which is hard/impossible to gulp, I will be disappointed if Indian Cricket team stops giving a shit about the spirit of the game and comes back before the tour really ends.
Friday, December 21, 2007
I rock, do I?
It is a tool adopted by saliva factories to take revenge from the world for giving them a headaches for reasons like paying room rent or buying toilet paper.
standing in the front row in a rock concert is like being hung by your chest hair (no offense meant if you are a girl).
rock music should be banned if not buried.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Gujarat
But if Narendra Modi wins this time around, I would get in a personal war with the land of India’s most famous son.
And the biggest loser of the stand off might be the innocent IIMA if I pledge to not land a step in Gujarat.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Cricket, the insect.
is nothing short of it. Here are some commentary excerpts from a 'two hour' viewing:
1. Misbah ul Had didn't quitted the wicket.
-the hopelessly intolerable Atul Wasan.
2. Its a rare way of getting out but happens commonly in cricket.
-again, the over paid genius, Atul Wasan.
3. The ball pitched outside the off stump so it can not be given out even though it hit in line and was going to hit the stumps.
-some non celebrity chap, supposed to be masters in Cricket Honours to be commenting on National TV., didn't know LBW rules.
2007 is about to end and it marks the end of one decade of being a cricket fan in my otherwise useless life.
So, it was time I announced my totally TOTALLY uninvited, unintelligent cricket awards of the last ten years.
Please note that no stats have been referred for this post.
Best Innings(test): there is a tie between Nathan Astle and V.V.S. Laxman.
Astle killed English bowlers to pile the fastest and bestest double century ever in world cricket. You gotta watch it to believe it.
Laxman did the unthinkable. If I wrote such a thing in my book, it will be trashed as unrealistic. His 281 reminded me of my own batting.
Best Innings(ODI): Again a tie between Gibbs and our very own Ganguli.
Chasing 434, Gibbs would not have taken his captain seriously in the lunch break when he would have said we can do it. They did, with Gibbs getting 175. Some batting display it was.
Ganguli hit the Sri Lankan bowlers to every part of the Trentbridge ground, an innings I would forever remember for his uncharacteristic reception of ovation before leaving the ground.
Best bowling(test): Bhajji obviously, the hatrick against the Aussies.
Best bowling(ODI): Ashish Nehra got six wickets against the English in the world cup. The ball defied all concepts of momentum and traveled in weird trajectories.
Most important catch drop: This category has been specially included to discuss the Gibbs dropped catch of Steve Waugh which changed Cricketing history more than any event ever did. Steve Waugh's eventual century and win of the 99 world cup marked a new era and Aussies became what I am in electronics: undisputed champs.
comments on the present team:
What is common between Dinesh Karthik and Ajit Agarkar?
For two years, Agarkar asked himself every night that what did he have to do to get out the Indian Cricket Team.
Dinesh Karthink has just begun the act but he is fast picking pace.
Why does Ishant Sharma not look Indian?
Slim, tall, five wicket haul, long hair, Ishant Sharma has everything a usual Indian pacer does not.
Why is Dada having a great year?
Bat with the old dead unswinging unbouncing unchallenging ball idiots. As a bonus you get to avoid Shoib Akhtar.
Why am I writing this?
Normally, I hate criticizing cricketing events. Today, I don't.
Monday, December 3, 2007
High on highness.
Was I really in a place so beautiful?
Did I really take this pic?
Is it humanly possible to go to Paris and not fall in love with it?
Will I ever get enough of gling at this pic?
Thursday, November 22, 2007
CAT 07
Its rummy that there is still a possibility that it might have just proved enough.
Its rummy that the dynamic CAT had no surprises this year.
Its rummy that still I found myself devoid of any sort of strategy.
Its rummy that the total number of questions I must have practiced for Quant would be less than one hundredth of a usual CAT aspirant.
Its rummy that I still scored twice the cut off.
Its rummy that the CAT Data Interpretation Section was easier than it has ever been.
Its rummy that still I only just managed to clear the DI cut off.
Its rummy that every thing now hinges on my English marks.
Its rummy that if I get thirty five, seven (Shillong now has the seventh) IIM calls.
Its rummy that if I get thirty, four IIMs.
Its rummy that if I get less than twenty five, no IIM calls at all.
Its rummy that even with an attempt of seventy two marks, my chances of getting through are not very bright.
What is even more rummy than all this is that I could not find any discrepancy or ambiguity in the sixty odd practice papers offered by institutes like Career Launcher, T.I.M.E. or IMS. Bbut IIMs, with their impeccable panel, can not avoid mistakes. In fact, there might be three or four of them in this year's paper.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
THE theory of Intelligence IV
Not too many years ago, I did this:
When I drew this sketch, I was completely over come by a desire to see it framed. The muse promised to sponsor the same although it never happened.
I have no clue where the sketch is now and whether it still exists or not.
I was taken over by exactly the same feeling today after not too many years.
I have knitted the plot of my book for some months now but its been quite some days since I penned any part of it.
I am never busy. My state only changes from I should be busy, so I better not take up vella (useless) tasks to I am free, so I can afford a day out.
But the fact remains that even when I am supposed to be busy, I can easily put in the time spent watching TV on an outing.
So recently, its been an I-ought-to-be-busy phase.
This explains my refrain from blogging, replying to mails, wishing best buddy on her b'day and the list is listless.
I was completely caught unaware when I sat down to analyse how my book was shaping with a marker and white board to find that I had actually framed eleven meaningful chapters!
How it would feel to see my work in print, I cant wait to discover.
Passing across Harper Collins in CP made me feel the way I felt passing IIT in class 12.
How I wish I get there.
The time has come that I formally announced the first feedback of the book.
The judge, lets call her M, is going to be a three year old buddy.
An avid reader, hypo-critical(most importantly), whose opinion I can appreciate.
More over, I like to believe, that she believes that I have a midas touch and hence will take my lunatic/ingenious attempt seriously.
P.S. The sem result is out and I am convincingly passing in almost all of them.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Being Mussadi
It turns out that the toughest paper work about a foreign internship is definitely not managing a Passport or a Visa.
It is getting some papers signed by the college authorities.
Here is the hilarious (to me, at least) journey through the sarkari (ineffective) ways of one of the top ten engineering colleges of India.
Keep in mind that for reasons hard to put in words, no two of the following meetings could take place on the same day.
People I approached followed by their responses:
1:H.O.D, Electronics.
Did you not read the newspaper today?
It clearly states I am ultra busy today.
Come tomorrow.
2.H.O.D, Electronics.
You again dint read the newspaper?
Come tomorrow.
3.H.O.D, Electronics.
*frowns, no, sulks*
he:Why are you here?
me:Paris Internship.
he:Meet the Dean Academics.
4.Dean Academics:
How dare you meet me.
You rusted piece of dusty mud.
How dare you were born.
Your H.O.D should himself handle the case.
5.H.O.D, Electronics.
Why did you go?
How did you go?
Where did you go?
When did you go?
What did you go for?
*taking the maximum possible time to understand every reply of mine*
I am forwarding your application to the princi.
6.Princi's P.A.
*triumphant as if just had a personal win*
He is out of office. Will come next week.
7.Princi.
*as taciturn as they get*
Forwarded to Administrative Head with the question:
"What is our take on such cases?"
8.Administrative Head.
*Looks at me as if I had asked him the future strategy of FIIs on the rising Sensex*
Forwarded to Dean Academics with no comments/questions/requests.
9.Dean Academics.
*Looks at me with a silent growl*
Forwarded to the Head Clerk.
10.Head Clerk.
*in the most matter-of-factly manner*
he:We cant help you.
me:Why?
he:You should have come a month earlier.
me:But if you check the date on which the letter was forwarded by my HOD to the princi, it is of two months back.
he:*with fakest possible anger* How dare you answer back to me. Gimme your I card.
I came out of the room and laughed louder than I have in recent times.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Free fall
The feeling of free fall often fascinates me and is frequently the subject of my day dreamings.
The cause of such a feeling to arise can be categorized in three ways:
Physical:
The steep turns of a water slide make you momentarily air borne which gives you a tickle of extreme fear in which you become confident that you have gone off track and heading face first to hard ground. But the feeling ends before it can cause serious damage.
Those lucky/brave souls who have bungee jumped know exactly what I am talking about. I wish I could defer the post till I have been through it but there is no guarantee that I ever will be.
Mental:
In my sixth hour of the flight between Paris and Moscow, I began to get terribly claustrophobic. A cheap Russian Airlines is the last thing you want if you are as averse to sitting in one place as I am. I tried to doze off and each time I closed my eyes, I would imagine the plane as if I was watching it from ten metres away and then suddenly in a free fall. That was the closest I ever got to the feeling of mental free fall.
Emotional:
This is what has instigated this post and if you are still reading, be glad.
Every thing has been in your control for years.
You love your dad/ mom/ husband / wife.
And then suddenly he loses his power to analyze.
He loses it completely.
Imagine one of your loved one, leaving home to look for Krishna conscience as ENSEA's, Justine Precioso's cousin had gone. She got ultra excited the moment she heard I am from India.
Imagine your loved one losing all traces of competitiveness on the look out for some thing else.
Or any god damn thing. Its a sinking feeling and its even worse when you have hope that things will get back in place but they never do.
Imagine being incarcerated away from any one whom you have ever wanted to meet. You care a damn about the inflation rate or t20 cup. Your only botheration is to cut a day without being uncontrollably depressed. To spend a day with just two or three emotional break downs would be a day spent well.
At moments like these you understand what freedom is. You understand what emotional free fall is all about. All except Buddha from the third century are slaves to such feelings.
You grasp at whatever you can get your hands on but it doesn't work. You just keep falling and falling reflecting on whatever has happened or going to happen.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
A Theory of Intelligence III
I don't have any god damn clue as to how to get everything back on track.
The unsuspecting victim of this mess up is my baby "A Theory of Intelligence", my book. Having finished writing the climax of the book and received rave reviews (yes!) for whatever snippets I have made some decent connoisseurs of literature read, it pains me to drop the project even temporarily.
By the way, the climax is around 40 pages of a usual book and must be around one fifty pages when full justice is done to the content. I drop the rest of the plot until I am very very vella ( idle) which should be in January.
But this does not, by any means, mean that the brain storming or the discussion would cease mean while. I have no clue about the rest of the story and this hiatus should help me give some wine-fy the rest of the story.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Borrowed under garments
Analytical Writing in GRE is all about analogies. The topic is the best analogy I can think of for my foray into technology as a career.
The analogy is relevant in more than one ways.
Why would one want to borrow under garments? Obviously because of lack of fore sight. He failed to analyze some upcoming situation and muddled it up completely. I did something similar.
Borrowed under garments seldom fit well. Or you can say that you did not fit them well. That is exactly what happened.
Borrowed under garments always leave you with that feeling that did I do the right thing by borrowing it? Would I have not done better without any at all? This is exactly how I feel right now. I wonder if I was to go back in time then would I have taken GRE again.
Borrowed under garments always leave you with a genuine defense for the situation which resulted in the occuring of the mess up. "Actually, एनं मौक़े पर ये हो गया, वरना सब मस्त था "(to translate: " this happened at the last moment or everything was under control"). I have my own 'genuine' defense and as DJ and Seth would testify, it aint all that bad.
Borrowed under garments always leave you with a nagging preoccupation of trying to conceal the act. Discovery would be so embarassing! I wish I had not babbled so much about my GRE.
Borrowed under garments always receive negative reaction from parents.
Borrowed under garments are unhappy memory.
P.S. I am far from being depressed about it. Feel free to write anything in the comment section.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
A theory of intelligence II
----------------------------------------------------------
A THEORY OF INTELLIGENCE
everday events, rare thoughts
Sachin Garg
(baarahwi pass)
Part-I
Chapter 1
Bare Beginning
I was not in free fall.
--------------------------------------------------
This is a teaser preview of the book. Starting from the cover page and ending with the first sentence of the book. The week was occupied by taking the toughest decision related to the book which is to whether write it or not. The decision has been made. The book is going to be written. I Am not aiming to get it published as of now. The aim is to test myself.
Here are the recent developments:
Present status:
- I had planned on five chapters initially but I soon realized that all of them were beyond the scope of a chapter and they have been promoted to five parts of the book.
- All my analysis have given me a whopping twenty percent chance of being up to something worth while here. I am more than happy with twenty percent. Its a lot more than I can ask for.
- Two chapters of the first part have been
written and its been an exhilarating experience. Writing a book needs thirty sixty degree thinking with highest possible concentration, which some how
I had not expected. Its really taxing
for the brain and can not be done for more than thirty minutes at stretch. Having knitted the story in my skull before beginning is turning out to be a HUGE asset.
- All my creative khudak (urge) is being satisfied by the book these days which might mean that I become irregular at my blog. With GRE just ten days away, life is getting hectic.
Three authors need a special mention for my futile/best-ever attempt:
- I wanted to find a way of paying tribute to the man who has encouraged every other DCEite to attempt writing a book. Some how, I cant help assuming that the number of IITians trying to emulate him cant be small. I have named the first chapter same as the first chapter of his book -bare beginnings. I need to clarify here that my book is in no way similar to Chetan Bhagat's and I am not a fan of his writings. But he is an inspiration power house for the not-so-talented in literature but gifted at story knitting janata.
- My only inspiration to write is Ayn Rand. Again, I can not say I am in love with her writings but I want to write like her. But she was gifted. Am I? Finding an answer to this question pretty much sums up the aim of the book.
- How can I let go a chance to bash Robin Shama. Heres the story behind my rivalry with the author of 'the monk who sold his ferrari':14 hours to my Transmission Lines and Wave Guide exam and my friends tell me about the awesome reviews they have read for the book. I cant resist. I started reading the book thinking I ll read just a few pages. The starting is pathetic.What makes the book so popular?I had to read beyond. The middle part is also bakwaas. May be there is some thing about the ending. Two hours to the exam. The ending was terrible.The exam was obviously screwed, as usual. I hate Robin Sharma.
Feedback:
Please share your first impression on reading the following and what they make you expect.
- The idea of writing a book by a baarahwi (twelfth) pass person who has not had any writing success except the one in a Story Writing Competition organised by Scholastic in class X.
- Title: A theory of intelligence.
- Subtitle: Everyday events, rare thoughts
- First sentence: I was not in free fall.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
A theory of intelligence
The book, as of now, has 5 chapters.
1st Chapter: This chapter is about semi-introducing the characters. Though you dont really get to know them, you get a feel of who they are. The book has two main characters and the back drop is, u guessed it, Paris. Had to be Paris. Its about a side kick Pulkit, form Delhi, stuck in Paris with an ultra intelligent chap, Narayanan Ramanan (Dear Narayanan, I never told you that I love your name and had decided to use it the day I heard it for the first time.It just fits my character perfectly) from Chennai. I am done with the first rough draft of this chapter and conservative estimates put it at 20 pages of MS Word at font 12, its long enough. Its philosophy all the way. One of the two concepts I have nested in my brain, which I was desperate to share which forced me to write this book in the first place.
2nd, 3rd Chapter: They cover the mystery part. Something happens and they both get out of it. Cant be shared here unfortunately. But its interesting, I assure you. Although I have rough drafted only the first chapter, and wont go beyond that probably till January, these chapters are well shaped somewhere inside my skull.
4th Chapter: This chapter is the build up to the last chapter. It sets up the scene to the grand climax. It starts with delving in to the psyche of the two characters. Some turn of events and deductions result in the final unfolding.
5th Chapter: This is the climax of the book. Pray it appeals to the intellectuals. Pray it is good. I am often haunted by the thought that what if everybody dismisses it as common place, hackneyed. It is at moments like these that Robin Sharma comes to the rescue. Not only did he write a book as terrible as 'The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari', he also found a publisher and he also got it on some best seller lists. No matter how hard I try, I can not succeed in beating him in writing crap.
The climax has been shaping up for some time now. But I soon realised that its beyond the scope of a blog, diary entry or e mail. It needs a book. A book called: 'A theory of intelligence'.
Plan of action: I have not let myself down for some time now. I hope this does not kill the euphoria. I hope I finish this endeavour I have taken up. I plan to start writing and researching in January for the book. And get a fair draft by April.
KBC Jaldi?
First case is the Bong guy:
The Bong guy is 26 something.He got an above 3500 rank in IIT and took up geology or something in Indian School of Mining, Dhanbad. Today he earns 20lacs per annum and travels business class. Which is some success, trust me.
Second case is of the XYZ guy, whose name I have no intention of sharing:
He went to one of the best IITs with one of the sharpest brain on the planet, but failed miserably. When I last heard of him, he was struggling with a CGPA of 4, which is pathetic, and was clearing his previous back logs all through out the summer vacation.
But some how when it comes to IITians, you know that a gorgeous career beckons him any way.
The third case is of my friend and class mate in DCE, Tejbir:
This guy is one of the sharpest brain with a chaste attitude towards studies which expectedly places him within the top very few of the class. He quit Civil in IIT Delhi to opt for DCE, Electronics. Today he has an awesome placement of 10 lacs in his hand with NVIDIA with an enviable career. Would he have had a better career in an IIT. When I popped up the question he had a long story to tell. He said this very question had haunted him for the last three years. He had often regretted having left IIT. When he was kicked in the written exam phase for first 4 companies he applied for, he told me, he lost his marbles. He asid he really wished he could go back in time. But then came NVIDIA. They gave him a job and a nice one at that. And now he says he is relaxed. He loves himself for gone for eletronics. He has no regrets.
The fourth case is my own:
Here are the facts:
- 2004:IIT:rank 3830,which means one of the worst steams in one of the most inferior IITs
- 2004:DCE:rank240,which means every option available
- 2005:IIT rank 2321, which means many options available but wasting a year already spent in DCE.
As is known to any one with whom I have exchanged any more that 2 sentences in last three years, I opted for option 1 among the three I listed. Not going in to the train of thoughts which forced this decision, I express what I could have been had I opted for option 2 or 3:
The Bong guy's case left bells ringing in my head. It easily could have been my case if only I wanted. But then there is case 2 of the XYZ guy which also VERY easily could have been my case. But then I could have wasted a year and worked with diligence like Tejbir and excel at one of the IITs. All three cases could have been a possibility. But as I often say, when its about yourself, you know in some part of your brain that you will get through.
Only time can tell us ki Koun Banega Crorepati jaldi?
Edit:
An epilogue:
Tejbir's comment:
Monday, September 3, 2007
What if?
What if everybody had land equal to inhabitable land available divided by the population of the world?
What if every one of us had exactly the same house of exactly the same size?
What if we had to decide a profession at the age of 24 and tell the government and
work on it for the rest of our lives?
What if science and research reached saturation because of man's emotional saturation from technology?
What if every couple made love only on Thursdays and Wednesdays?
What if the only motivation for competence in the world was having some time free with family inside your house?
What if there was perfect communication between every human being?
What if every house got food and stuff by courier everyday in a fixed amount and variety?
What if every one was a perfect citizen with equal level of education?
What if every couple on the planet had two kids?
What if no man fell ill?
What if everybody HAD to die at the age of 53?
What if in his attempt of making a robot like a man, man became a robot?
Would that be better?
I know this one is very late but still it is.... I am the third case guy, to introduce myself. Truely in the first three years at DCE, it has been all regrets for not going to IIT (and taking up something like civil or textile over there). Then NVIDIA somewhat changed everything and I backed up my decision. But now again, Sachin, same question has started to haunt me. Aseem Khosla , my friend in IITD, having 2800 ( or so rank) , got into Textile, and now he has got wonderful package of 26 lakhs p.a. So what say now?? I think its all destiny. Everyone will get what he/she desrves. Its just a matter of time.
January 9, 2008 8:52 AM
The debate is endless tej and i have to thank for sharing this train of thought.
one point you are not considering is that not every one at IIT gets 26lacs and many of them inferior jobs than yourself.
but i still can not negate the fact that with your mental acumen, no career could have been too good had you been there.
February 11, 2008 9:55 AM