V day post

V day is nearing and the eternal lover boy that i am, how can i let the chance go to add my bit to the occasion.
Heres one line each dedicated to each one of my ex girl friends, the definition of girl friend strictly being having said/typed the three golden words.
Whatever they suggest, I emphasize that I have loved loving these girls.

number1. Love and inertia are like carrots and radishes. They look similar but one is red and the other is white.

number2. Does dumbness really know no bounds or was it just you?

number3. If I cant tolerate you, most probably, I cant love you.

number4. No seriously, heterosexuality is generally fun. I just had an off day.

number5. You would like Sachin Tendulkar except for the mustache and remember, Tendulkar does not have a mustache.

number6. That message that you read was from number 5 and not one of my friend's silly jokes.

number7. Today, its been thirteen years since we met.

number8. You would have a cute ass if u wax it.

number9. All TV serials are fictitious and should not be referred while making life changing decisions.

number10. I have started saying excuse me after farting.

number11. Loved your acting in 'pretty woman' and 'oceans 12'. We should start dating again.

number12. If only you knocked at the door before coming over to my place that day...

number13. You never know, I might still just manage a career.

number14. My successor made me puke.

number15. Belated Happy Birthday.

number16. Please make sure I am the first one to know as soon as you get your nose surgery done.

number17, Its unnatural to use Janu, sweetoo, cutie pie in one sentence.

number18. Hope you dont make that sound from your nose when you laugh.

number19. Some times, four inches of heels are not enough.

number20. Why did you have to become so hot immediately after we broke up.

number21. I still do, even though I know I shouldn't.

number22. I am still waiting for your second novel after 'the god of small things'.

number23. Hehe, you did expect I would call you back, didn't you?

number24. You French! Racism sucks.

number25. The verb which follows 'didnt' is in present tense, even if you are talking about something from the past.

number26. You are the only girl I have ever come across who did not know that boys are pigs.

number27. Thanks for all the gifts. Sorry for disappearing two days ahead of your birthday.

number28. I switched to 'axe' from the road side ones.

number29. Not everything I say can be described as 'stupid, cutely stupid.'

number30. You missed the right era for being born by seven millenniums.

number31. I promise I would not mistake your name with other girl's name. Just come back. You are very special because you are only thirty first true love.

number32. If you come back, I promise I wont bore you by faking British and American accents, even though I have grown really good at it.

number33. Please change the 'from my past relationships I have learned' section from your Orkut profile. Some of my friends actually know we were dating and it is just too malicious.

number34. Parle vous anglais?

number35. The other day one of my friend talked dirty about you and I did just what you would have wanted me to, gave him your number.

number36. Wish you were not imaginary like the rest of them.

It was fun writing this post.
Should help being single, yet again, this V Day.

P.S. Epilogue added to the post KBC Jaldi?