Saturday, August 4, 2007

H Cl

Finally i did get to read the holy words.Two companies had come and gone and I was still to make a debut on the 'Eligibile' list.But then my resume manager finally flashed the words in green 'YOU ARE ELIGIBLE'.I was elated. 3 years of psuedo engineering was narrowed down to this.Many of my school friends who had done no where close to what I had in school, had been better placed.
The side effects of the Paris internship were beginning to show.Inflated expectation,punctured capability.I am tempted to indulge in self criticism here but now that at least four people have started reading my blog,I am cautious.Sanket said once that this Paris internship is an investment in value addition of one self.Karthiik said that foreign internships mean no job because the small companies find you too ambitious and I was not eligible for the BIGGIES with a meagre 59%.How Anshul and I had once discussed with freshness of being freshers that we were bound to be better than the reserved category people and people who had dropped a few years to come to DCE.Which meant we were bound to have a 'being in the top few' stay at DCE.Anshul didnt exactly manage that.I did manage to achieve exactly the opposite.
And now here I was being elated on being eligible for a company for which I wouldnt bat an eyelid a few years ago.The company is HCL and the package is embarassing.But then, at some point reality strikes and the last week has been exactly that.From the highs of being in the city of love to the lows being rejected by companies which I had rejected the day I stepped in DCE.
Its a common discussion in DCE to bakchodify (hindi word) on whether to go to IT or any other of the zillion fields to do a job.HCL seemed to me my last shot at IT.Their presentation would have been an anticlimax had I not attended the Infosys presentation and known that presentations are anti-climaxes.The big fat ugly guy explained why HCL was the best option when his whole persona forced me to think otherwise.
Then there was the written exam.Which was an anti-er-climax.Hell they want me to find 1200/5000!But I did fall short of time which does explain there point to some extent.A long wait and then I was told I have got through the written exam.Then it was the interview.Which started with the question that has haunted me for years.WHY SUCH A DROP FROM 85 IN TWELTH TO 59 IN UNDER GRADUATION?I still didnt have an answer and took the easy way out.I told the truth which I now think I shouldnt have.And then the usual stuff like arrays and bond and location and all.She talked as if I was already a part of the company.
I was pretty confident then only that I am through.I came back home as I dint see a point in waiting there and called up DPS(Dhirendra Pratap Singh) if I was through.NO said DPS.With my Bro Bhabhi listening to every word that I utter, I tried to sound normal and cover up.I went downstairs and told my dad that I was still unplaced.For once I did a manly thing by telling him.Been too big a coward to tell them that Infy and TCS have come and gone to my college.Been tired of lying.I hope this blog never gets popular.I am happy in my readership of four.At least I can say whatever I want.I was beginning to plan the rest of the month even before I came to know the result.A company which took 120 people from NSIT and 65 people from DCE just rejected me.What can be SO bad?Whats wrong with my profile?Does my profile say I am too ambitious by DCE(or HCL) standards?Or is this a cheap bit of self consolation I am indulging in?I am not eligible for any companies till 21st August.
I have been told that I could do it in E Value Serve.But I could have done so much but there cant be a bigger NOTHING.I have never felt a deeper love for research than I feel today.But then my parents dont want me to go to the US.It is like that Harry Potter book where each and every path is made to look absolutely shut.But he does get out of it.I am yet to negate even a single career option and I dont see that happening in near future either.CAT ,GRE,non tech job,tech job and what not.I am open to everything.But when will something be open for me.
I have never felt more short of someone of equal intellect to discuss than today.Veni is in a bus and least willing to recieve a call on roaming and rightly so.Garima is in train and any ways I wonder if she has the patience to understand such a complex situation.Saloni lacks IQ.And all the guys lack the willingness.Moreover,being vella sucks.But then I am not suppose to be vella.I am suppose to be studying for my placements.But I am always vella when I am not researching.Cos of this fucking(yes,I do abuse) rejection I wont go looking for a project at least for a few weeks.Or do I damn the placements?Wish you were here Seth,to differentiate between the right, the self consolation and the unaffordable self esteem.

11 comments:

wacko said...

hey there..
dun mind but do you mind formatting your post a bit? i mean i so wanted to read all of it (since i too m a budding engineer), but just couldnt let my eyes strain so much...everything is so messed up here without any paragraphs and spaces..i started readin but eventually got lost somewher and never recovered since den..i hope u understand!

cheers!
no offense

wacko said...

Many of my school friends who had done no where close to what I had in school, had been better placed****

i can very well relate to this..tis the same with me! :)

I am tempted to indulge in self criticism here but now that at least four people have started reading my blog,I am cautious***

u dont need to be cautious..jst write wht u feel..

59% and u got a paris internship..how is dis possible dude??

bakchodify*** lol

hmm...i can feel u dude..ive just entered into the 4th year and m already placed with infosys..m in dehradun institute of tech..CSE..and m plannin for MS the next year..ive already started preparin for it..hv ma exam on oct 8th...see wht i can tell u is dat u dun need to feel depressed bout it nemore...jst think wht u gotta do now in the future...u can always count upon me if u face any problems...u wont believe but i too was in the same position u in now when i too was rejected by the initial companies that had visited my campus..my dad wasnt sure f letting me do MS..but for now, everything is sorted out and i guess i do knw where m heading towards..

reading this post literally felt as if i wrote this post few months ago...

:)

dun worry..u can ping me whenever u like to! my emailid is anshuman_b_2000@yahoo.com

be happy!
cheers!

and plz divide ur posts into paragraphs..:)

Neha said...

dont know if its the anger getting to u but i thought this was ur best blog ever...and iam not saying that as a "cheer up" statement.

if i may say i can empathise with wat u r feeling right now and u can trust me that this sticky situation u see urself in which seems out of control will solve gradually on its own.... while i was reading it i could remember my placement time clearly n yes it always seems hopeless with ur not-so-good peers getting jobs before you

...but better things will come to u... n if u need some suggestions i told you...i give great advice :)

Keshi said...

time will tell...TC.

Keshi.

isha said...

dint u once say.....'IS IT A DIARY ENTRY U HAVE WRITTEN OR A BLOG'........nyways wrong timin.....so let me stop being mean n say something nice.....im sure something better is in stock for u....patience has its vitues, best of luck....

isha said...

btw if u wana get into research u shud....try convincing ur parents (which im sure u have) but u dnt seem to be the person who would let go easily so....go ahead n join the field that actually satisfys u

Pravin said...

Don't worry. If you're good at what you do, things will work themselves out. Evalueserve is hiring. If you're from mumbai, chaps will be taking interviews of candidates monday (13th august 2007) - wednesday

Adi Crazy said...

Regardless of the low mood you've written the post in, I think it is a very well written post.
No advices, I know you'll have the best in a while. Just hang on there.
:)

Aditi said...

well.. thanks for stopping by my blog
but i hope u get a job of your liking soon

Ankit Gupta said...

guess what..."aap aur mein ek hi khasti ke raahi hai"
but i presue, both are enjoying our lives ;)
Cheers
ANKIT

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